- 4 years ago
- Wedding: June 2016
I was talking to my sister today and am feeling overwhelmed now at the thought of planning the shower.
1: The cost. I’m def not rich, and I’m about to move and go to grad school so I’m really trying to save not spend. (In fact, I’m engaged too and have postponed my own wedding planning cause of this.) As it is I already spent $300 on the dress alone (which I’m fine with), and am planning the bachelorette in, her choice, NYC so I’m sweating those costs as well. How much is one MOH/sister supposed to spend? We wrote a rough draft guest list a few months back and it’s got 47 ppl on it! I’m sure we could cut that back, but even 30 ppl at $20 ea to feed them is $600 off the top.. She suggested I ask her FMIL in law for help..who I’ve never met or spoken to. [side note: I think ppl might suggest having it at home and not out, but I don’t live in town and I know my mom does not want to host.]
2: Locations and the bridal party. Her bridal party is 2 other girls, her old friends from being a teenager, and neither are local. One lives several states away, the other lives about 4 hours away. I live 1.5 hours from where my sister and the rest of our family lives. Just makes things that much more awkward. The bridal party so far isn’t very cohesive or highly involved, and I dunno about hitting them up for money for this and don’t think it’s possible for them to be helpful in planning. (We have no other siblings btw.)
3: The guests. We made the list, I don’t know anybody on it except our aunts, so it makes it extra challenging trying to decide what these ppl want and how to plan a party suited for them. My sister is in her early 30s and at this stage in her life doesn’t have a ton of girlfriends. From what I can tell the list is a lot of FMIL’s friends, older family friends, etc. Except for a couple, these aren’t ppl my sister hangs out with. She kinda sees it as his FMIL/our mom have gone to these ppl’s/daughter’s showers, so..
4: She mentioned wanting a “fee shower”. If you don’t know, it’s where you ask for money instead of gifts. I asked how you get ppl to do this she said you write “fee shower” on the invite and ppl know. Ugh! Feel so uncomfortable doing this, esp when I don’t even know these ppl! I said, aren’t showers about opening gifts? She’s like no.
5: I’ve never even been to a bridal shower! I know this seems crazy bc I’m not that young, but most of the ppl that live near me are unmarried and those that have gotten married and had showers happened to have lived far from me at the time.
Well thanks for listening! I think now that I’ve whined about it I will be able to break through these challenges, but please share any advice you have! Thank you bee! <3