(Closed) I'm the MOH – what do I give as a gift?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
444 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

When I was my friend’s Maid/Matron of Honor, together with some others we gave her an extra special gift. Basically and “experience” for her honeymoon. (No she did not have a honeymoon registry).

I have no idea what you “should” do..

Post # 4
9954 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Etiquette Snob here… lol

Ok this thread might help you out to understand what your Responsibilities and Obligations are (along with hers) from a Traditional Etiquette stand-point

http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/afraid-of-being-called-a-bridezilla#axzz2abMLHwST (My Reply is # 13)

Mind you, things can be further negotiated… ie She might offer to buy your Bridesmaid or Best Man Dress, and in exchange you might pay for your own Accommodations etc (or for a Destination Wedding, sometimes the Bride / Couple will pick up your Airfare Costs).

This is WHY I stress that Brides TALK TO THEIR MAIDS BEFOREHAND, so everyone knows what is expected on both sides of the equation

As for Gifts… as noted in the above Link, you yourself will be expecetd to give a Wedding Present to the Happy Couple.  IF you are bringing a SO to the Wedding (or a Date, Plus One), well then you have someone to share the cost with.

The Wedding Present should be for BOTH the Bride & Groom (not just the Bride) and often the easiest is to get them something from their Wedding Registry. 

You will also be expected to give a Gift to the Bride along with the other Bridesmaids.  This can be something you do specifically for the Bride aside from all the Wedding Presents / Couple Stuff, or it can be something you do in conjunction with another Pre-Wedding Event (all chip in for an Incredible Bachelorette Weekend Away… or a special gift at the Shower)

Many choose to make this last Gift “one in kind”… where the gift isn’t something material per se, but an act of love & kindness.  So hosting a Wedding Shower could also count in this category.

As with all Gifts what you spend is up to you, how close you two are, and what you can afford.  Want to do more you do more, can’t afford to do more… then at least meet the above minimums (Couple’s Wedding Present – and Maids Gift to the Bride)

Hope this helps,

Post # 5
7311 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

When I’ve been a bridal party member, I’ve always given a gift at both the shower and the wedding in addition to paying for the shower, bachelorette, and my bp attire expenses and any travel costs. BUT, as a PP said, your actual expenses may vary. Talk to your sister (the bride) and see what she expects. And don;t be afraid to speak up if something is simply beyond your financial means.

Post # 6
13251 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

For my sister, I chipped in in the bridal party gift at the shower, got her a separate sentimenal shower gift, as well as a wedding present.  It’s expensive to be in a wedding! 

Post # 7
3082 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@mscuppycake:  When I was a bridesmaids, I gave a wedding gift a little bigger than I normally would and she was my friend not my sister. It’s up to you, but I would give my brother a more substantial gift than I would a friend, even if I was in the wedding party.

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