(Closed) I’m the overweight bridesmaid

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
3572 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Im so sorry you feel that way.  Not sure if this helps… but I think a lot of people think of themselves as the odd one out.  I had one bridesmaid at least 6 inches taller than the next tallest one, and she felt awkward about it.  

The best thing you can do is carry yourself in a confident way.  I am sure you will look beautiful and everyone else will think so too!

Post # 4
1986 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@alli0628: Don’t worry!  I’m sure you will look beautiful! I really doubt you will stand out at all.

And congratulations on your weight loss- you are right slow and steady is the way to do it!  Be careful only drinking diet shakes, you wouldn’t want to faint while standing with the bridal party- that would certainly make you stand out!

Post # 5
2854 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Congrats on your weightloss! You’ll look awesome this weekend. Don’t worry. 🙂

Post # 6
6065 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2012

Ok first of all CONGRATS on losing 38lbs, thats AMAZING. You should be so proud of yourself.

I’m sorry you are feeling so self conscious…I know how it is, Ive always battled with my weight. But I think you need to remember that sometimes the way we see ourselves is so different than how we really look.

Im sure you will look gorgeous. 2 sizes is not a big difference at all. Don’t starve yourself with diet shakes!

Hugs to you. 🙂

Post # 7
2554 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

It’s not stupid at all. I’m sure there’s lots of us who have felt similar before. Keep thinking in the long run. 38 lbs is amazing! You’re doing great.

Post # 8
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

I totally understand. I am also very critical of myself and it’s the worst feeling to look back at the professional photos and think you looked bad in any way. For my sisters wedding, I was majorly sleep deprived, super constipated (sorry TMI) to a point I looked like I was pregnant and just overall frumpy looking. And the hairstylist rushed through my hair in about 5 minutes so I had this super unflattering and unprofessional looking updo. I know it wasn’t my day and I was just there to support my sister, but I hate looking at the photos because I feel like it was such an ugly day 🙁

Post # 9
287 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I’ve been the biggest bridesmaid in a few weddings so I know how you feel – especially when surrounded by REALLY skinny girls.

It comes down to the fact that there isn’t anything you can do at this point that you haven’t already and only drinking diet shakes at this point isn’t going to help you drop more than a pound or two which isn’t noticeably visually anyways so stop punishing yourself. Be proud of who you are and be the most beautiful version of you that you can be on that day. Head up, shoulders back and SMILE – enjoy the day and being there to witness such a special moment in your friend’s life. Remember that most people will be looking at her not you, anyways.

I will give you one tip that I got from a friend who is a photographer about taking photos and trying to avoid the dreaded double chin look…press your tongue against the roof of your mouth when you smile and try and stick your chin out a bit – it really helps in photos!

Post # 10
351 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Totally understand. The last wedding I was in I was 10 sizes bigger than everyone else. 

Congrats on your weight loss! Slow and healthy is the best way to help keep it off long term. Don’t worry about what others look like (even though it’s hard to do). I’m sure you’ll look lovely and it’s nice to hear that the dresses are flattering (how concious of the bride to make sure everyone looks their best). 

Again, congrats on the weight loss. I’m sure you’ll look lovely!

Post # 11
54 posts
Worker bee

I completely relate to this!! I have been the biggest bridesmaid by at least 3 sizes in the last 3 weddings that I have been in! But really, congrats on such an awesome weight loss- that is really an inspiration for me to get my butt in gear :).  Also, frankly, in pictures no one really notices who is the biggest when you are all wearing a similar/the same dress- they are all too focused on the bride!  So relax and enjoy yourself; I am sure you will look beautiful!

Post # 12
335 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

For one, you have to give yourself a break and celebrate your success of losing the weight.  It’s sounds cheesy, but when you feel good about yourself, you look better. 

As for other tricks to look thinner since you asked, be sure to not stand straight on to the camera, side shots are always more flattering.  If you’re not already doing it, get your make up professionally done.  I’m not saying you need it, but it helps to make you feel more confident and see how beautiful you are.  My sister lost 100 lbs prior to my wedding.  She is still heavy, but she was RADIANT at my wedding, or at least I think she was. But she also FELT fabulous, celebrated her weight loss, and it showed.  I don’t have time to link them here but you can see my recap here to see some flattering (maybe) poses.

Work it, girl!

Post # 13
5009 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

@alli0628: Two sizes really isn’t obvious and most photographers want everyone to look good, not just the bride. I’m sure you’ll look great.

And many congratulations on your loss so far!

Post # 14
3977 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I agree with the others that 2 sizes is really not much. The clothes in my own closet vary by more than 2 sizes.

Also the bride chose you to be in her wedding so it’s YOU she wants not a model who’ll look perfect.

Honestly, aside from natural hair and makeup (don’t overdo it) the best thing you can do to look good is be confident. Have a running mental conversation where you remind yourself that you look smokin hot, that your dress is gorgeous, that you’re so happy for the couple, that your shoes make your legs look long, that the music is great, etc. postive, positive, positive. If you have positive thoughts running through your head and you stand up straight and walk with certainty, you’d be surprised at how big a difference it can make.

If you’re worrying about how you’ll look in pictures there are some great websites that have good tips for things like keeping engaged in what’s happening and laughing so you’re not posey, lifting your chin and turning your head, having light colored backgrounds, standing with one foot in front of the other, etc.

Good luck! I’m sure you’ll look great

Post # 16
376 posts
Helper bee

your friend asked you to be in her wedding because she loves you, not your clothing size. dont forget that,  i am sure she would be heartbroken to know thta you are so upset!

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