(Closed) im thinking DIVORCE!!!

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 92
2203 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

If you are ready to throw in the towel after 2 months you had no business getting married in the first place. 

Post # 93
1955 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

i’m sorry, but i think you’re being very selfish.

also, as someone with sometimes severe clinical depression, i feel sorry for your husband. because he needs your support, he just doesn’t know how to ask for it. he’s probably scared, and doesn’t know how to handle what he’s feeling. he’s not intentionally trying to hurt you. i guarantee that.

if he was depressed before you got married, you should have realized he was like this. and not married him. it’s not his fault he’s depressed. and you’re not helping him by pushing him or treating him like you are. and you should be trying to think of ways to get him the help he needs, instead of thinking of yourself.

it’s possible to get therapy even though you don’t have insurance. and sometimes, it takes a few different therapists to find one you like (i saw at least 3 or 4 before finding one i “clicked” with) it doesn’t always happen the first time with the first one. 

Post # 94
6586 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

I am going to tell you my parent’s story.  My father (his whole side of the family) is prone to depression.  His whole life and my parent’s whole marraige they have dealt with this.  Sometimes- when he is taking his medication right and the stars align- he is fine.  Much of the time he is not.  There are times he is suicidal and won’t get out of bed.  They have been married for 39 years this year.  My mother has supported him and loved him, but i know it has not been easy on her. And honestly, there have been times where I would not have blamed her for divorcing him – and I have told her so.

Yes, at 2 months I think its a little hasty to throw in the towel.  But I also think many PP are being harsh on you.  What if this is not a temporary thing that resolves itself in a year?  Do you want to live like this for the rest of your life?  Should your child have to?

Depression is a real disease- like alcoholism.  But at some point the person who has it does have to take some personal responsibility- to go to counseling, to take their meds right.  If they don’t then they are not holding up their end of the marital vows either.

Post # 95
1344 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I’m sorry but after 2 months?? These are issues that had to have been present beforehand.I think this should have been thought ut before the “I Dos’ you have now vowed to your husband through sickness and in health (depression is a very serious disease that requries treatment) richer or for poorer (he is clearly having financial problems), and so on. I think the vows need to be taken seriously and you all need to cmomunicate/get the help needed to keep this marriage alive. If he is your soul mate, your other half, and the love of your life, you will push through. If you made a big mistake, then that’s life too, but two months is a very short time to consider divorce…

Post # 98
4113 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@rozzy:  Wow, your husband is so lucky to have a strong, intelligent woman like you in his life to help guide him through his illness and support him back to health!

Good thing all of these women took the time to try and help you understand that mental illness is just that, AN ILLNESS.


Post # 99
9869 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Aw, so sorry you’re dealing with this.  You took the vows “for better or worse, in sickness and in health” – you’re in sickness and worse now – time to show you meant what you vowed.  Support your husband, don’t leave him. 

Post # 100
508 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I suffer from Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Depression. The first time someone told me to go seek counseling for symptoms he believed to be psychosomatic, I never went back and talked to him again. I quit going to class, just quit, which was unlike me. I took over the next semester, and didn’t really do anything about it. It wasn’t until the following fall that my significant other suggested going to counseling. I told him I would, but I didn’t until that spring when things got so bad in my mind (my life outside was going okay in reality) that I couldn’t quit crying, felt worthless, suicidal, and guilt from all of this. I lasted in that first counseling period about 2 and a half months. Then for eight months I didn’t go again. Things got even worse, because I knew that I had an issue… So this past fall I started going again. It took six months of that for some of the key ideas we were talking about to kick in. Since January my life has started to change positively in several ways.

When you are going through something like this you want things to be instantly better, but you don’t believe they can be. You think there is something about you that makes everything you touch inherently messed up or bad. You feel guilt for worrying people or guilt for not being as strong as others or just like them in general.

I am only recently learning to not be ashamed, and that some of this was chemical and not inherently my fault.

Therapy takes time… and if my SO had just nagged me and nagged me I would have felt worse and worse, but he did other things to bring joy in my life while encouraging me that I could be the one to change it and that I needed to go back to therapy.

Keep trying with your husband. You love him or you wouldn’t have married him. I can’t imagine what it is like on your side, but he isn’t doing this on purpose. He doesn’t really feel like he can do things at all.

Post # 104
171 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

Tell your husband to put his big boy panties on and buck up.

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