(Closed) Im upset!!! Did sex ruin our baby!!!

posted 8 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
Member
164 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

That is so sad, I am so sorry for you. 🙁  Your husband sounds like a selfish jerk.  I am so sorry to say it like that, but I don’t know how to sugar coat it.  Do you have a close friend you could confide in right now?  I think you need someone who loves you and will listen to you and give you lots of love and hugs.  xoxo

Post # 4
Member
7152 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

AWW I am so sorry that you are going through this. You should wait on the results from the doc to confirm that you’re pregnant. You really should find someone to talk to.

Post # 5
Member
3162 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

OK, first of all, try to relax a little bit. You will go see the doctor and figure out what is going on. There’s nothing you can do right now except try to be calm about it and let the doctors help you and figure out what’s going on. Plenty of people have sex when they’re pregnant and they are 100% fine.

The problem I have with this is that your husband, for lack of a better term, acted like a complete a**hole. What you said he did and his reaction is really really disturbing to me. Once you go to the doctor and figure everything out, I think you need to tell your husband that his behavior was not OK and he simply cannot treat you that way. You deserve better than that. His actions literally disgust me.

((HUGS)) Sending good thoughts your way.

Post # 6
Member
7082 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2009

OK, deep breath.  It is really common to have a little bleeding after sex in the early stages.  Please don’t freak out.  Unless there was already something wrong with the pregnancy, sex doesn’t cause miscarriages.  Your doctor will tell you if you need to abstain, but usually it is just fine!

3 weeks is really early and your body is going through a ton of changes right now.  There is cramping from uterine stretching and implantation bleeding…  It’s tough because you only have symptoms to go on.  There’s no baby movement that you can feel this early on!

There is, of course, the larger issue here of your husband disrespecting your wishes regarding sex.  I think that is something that needs to be addressed right away!

 

Post # 7
Member
7975 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I’ve never heard of sexual intercourse harming a fetus before. If you are pregnant, it’s possible you’re more emotional than usual and mis-interpreting your husband’s reaction.

Have you been to the doctor to confirm your pregnancy yet? At three weeks you shouldn’t be able to feel the baby moving yet, so not feeling anything moving shouldn’t be a cause for concern.

Don’t worry too much yet – wait to see what the doctor says.

Post # 8
Member
4465 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

The way your husband acted aside…

1) You haven’t had a positive pregnancy test yet, so it’s actually possible that you’re NOT pregnant.

2) Because you were having pain/bleeding/discomfort/etc., you may have some other gyno issue unrelated to pregnancy.

Post # 10
Member
1135 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2009

I think that your husband was definitely out of line, but before you get too worked up over anything, I would get to a doctor and find out for sure if you’re really pregnant.  From there, you can start making decisions about what you’re going to do next. 

Post # 11
Member
792 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

Have you actually taken a test? If you’re still waiting to get into the doc, take a test. If it comes back positive, wait a day and take another one. If the second line comes back fainter then the first test, take another one, if that one is fainter still you might be having a very early miscarriage. I’ve had two early ones and that’s how I found out. That all being said, sex will not cause a miscarriage, but it can cause a little bleeding, that’s normal. If I were you I would find someone, a friend or family member to confide in. Early pregnancy can be very overwhelming, especially with a husband who is not being supportive or nurturing. I hope everything works out ok for you!

Post # 12
Member
4123 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I’m glad you have a Dr’s appointment because you really need to take a test and find out if you even ever were or still are. Have you been on any kind of BC recently? Are you just coming off it?

This is one reason why I’m glad I’m using the STM method for BC. When we do TTC I’ll be able to see a temperature shift that shows I’m pregnant and then if I were to miscarry I would see another change in the temperature.

Sex does not cause miscarriages though. Just take a deep breath and try and relax. Your Fiance may be stressed, though that gives him no excuse to behave the way he is.  If you are preggers, was it planned? How was he before the possible pregnancy and sex denial?

Post # 13
Member
208 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

I am sorry you are upset.  First, while the symptoms you are feeling may be a sign of pregnancy, they can also be a sign that you are getting your period.  You would not feel thany movemebt at 3 weeks pregnant, so the lack of movement is not indicative of a problem even if you are pregnant.  The only way to know if you are pregnant is to take a test.  Rather than stressing yourself out, go to the drugstore and get a test.  If it is positive, make an appointment with your doctor.  During pregnancy, particularly in the first trimester, it is not uncommon to spot after sex.  However, before you make yourself worry unnecessarily, take things one step at a time and take a pregnancy test. 

Post # 14
Member
7082 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2009

I know that in the original post it is a little challenging to tell, but I read it as she had taken a test, “Even when I took the test I knew I had to wait for the doctors appointment”… which is generally true. 

Most of us find out even before a missed period, but have to wait until 8-10 weeks for the first appointment. 

Maybe I’m reading it incorrectly?

Post # 15
Member
208 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

I re-read the post and yes, it looks like she took a test, but its unclear when she took it or what the result was.  I am assuming it was negative, so perhaps it was too early to test?  At home tests are generally very reliable when taken at the appropriate time, so maybe if she tested now she would have a better chance of getting an accurate result. 

Post # 16
Member
5498 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

@DG-I think you read it right!

@VDB-I’m sorry you are going through this! Hopefully the docotr will be able to straighten everything out. Your husbands feelings towards sex really worry me, though. Have you tried having a serious talk with him?

The topic ‘Im upset!!! Did sex ruin our baby!!!’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors