Post # 1
I’m upset over something that I know is stupid. A few months ago my phone was acting up really bad and I called a friend to ask if she had an old phone I could use, which she didn’t. My SO knew my phone was acting weird and that I was looking for a different one to use temporarily until I could either fix mine or get a new one. I coulda swore that he said none of his old phones worked, but this was a few months ago so I don’t know. He does have an old phone by the bad and I remember thinking “he must not have offered it to me because it doesn’t work”.
So last week I was using my old ipod listening to music on it and he said he should get his old phone so we can listen to the music on it. Then last night he said he still has his original smartphone from many years ago. Now, I know these phones are from before we were together, but I can’t help but get the feeling that he didn’t want me using his old phone for some reason. I know this is stupid, but I’m a little upset about it. I’m pretty sure he told me they didn’t work anymore, but I can’t say for sure. I asked him in a joking way last night “where were you when I needed to borrow a phone a few months ago?” and he said he doesn’t even remember my phone acting up and he didn’t offer it to me “because he didn’t think about it”.
I don’t know how many old phones he even has or how many still work, the one with the music might be his “original smartphone”. I know I’m worrying about stupid stuff, but does it sound like maybe he has stuff on there that he doesn’t want me to see/find?
Post # 2
…… talk about reading into things! Breath and move on.
Post # 3
If it’s a phone from before you were together yeah he probably has stuff on it he doesn’t want you to see having said that if it’s from before you were together why is it even a thing that you care about?
Post # 4
This is going to sound like a crazy idea–but have you tried asking
him about it? There may be a very good reason why he hasn’t offered them up to you. My DH dropped his phone last year and shattered it. He had already gotten it replaced, so to do it again would mean buying a whole new phone–it was a whole thing. I had an old iPhone I could have offered him, but didn’t initially. Why? This one had music, photos, and, most importantly, videos of my grandparents who have since passed. I was afraid that he’d break this phone, too. Eventually, I moved everything to a safe spot and gave him the phone, but my point is, if this is someone you claim to love, why can’t you just ask him why he hasn’t offered???
Post # 5
I did ask him, after the fact. He said he didn’t think to offer it at the time. I was able to get my phone working again so I still currently use it.
Post # 6
I don’t know about you but I probably have like….four or five old phones in my house however I have no idea where they are, if they function or could even work with new network requirements.
It’s likely that the phones he has are still useful for music and things, but not as phones…no secret agenda, no hiding…he just didn’t have one that he thought would work for you.
Post # 7
I honestly wouldn’t worry about it. He was probably telling the truth that he just didn’t think about it at the time.
And if he didn’t want you to see what was on the phone, I don’t think it’s a big deal. Maybe he had some text messages with an old girlfriend that he thought might make you feel bad or insecure. Personally, if I found out that was the case, I would tell my Fiance that he could’ve just told me that in the first place and I would’ve been fine, he doesn’t need to hide things from me to protect my feelings. But I’d get over it pretty quickly, too.
I think you just need to talk to him about it some more, without accusing him of anything, and then move on.
Post # 8
— backs out of thread slowly–
Post # 9
The only reason to worry about something like this is if he has a history of shady behavior. If he has never before done anything to give you that off feeling, then I def would not worry about this.
Post # 10
No it does not sound like maybe he has stuff on there that he doesn’t want you to see or find, it sounds like you are trippin my dear.
Post # 11
Um- it’s good you know this is a silly thing to be upset about?
And if you need something ASK for it.
All solved! Have a great weekend!
Post # 12
I’m not sure what I’m even worried about finding…stuff from/relating to his ex’s, porn? Idk…sometimes I just worry about stupid stuff that really doesn’t matter. Thanks for all the helpful responses guys.
Post # 13
Sweetheart- with love and kindness, why create drama that doesn’t exist? There are enough problems in the world without creating a mountain out of a molehill
Post # 14
Haha thanks for your honesty
Post # 15
More likely he knows how overly-sensitive and insecure you can be (going by the tone of your post) and knew if he lent you an old phone you’d immediately do a full recon on it and get all upset and teary eyed over any evidence of past female interaction, even if it was from a time before you were a couple. And he prob couldn’t even remember what, if anything was on there but just didn’t want to take the chance.
I’m honestly not trying to be mean to you, but sweetie you sound like you’re your own worst enemy and this kind of behaviour will only hurt you and your relationship. Chill, for your own sake.