(Closed) I’m very nervous about trying on dresses.

posted 8 years ago in Full Figured
Post # 3
Member
3255 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Maybe you should consider making a solo trip to try on dresses or finding a more supportive friend to go with you. If you are already self-conscious, the last thing you need is your mom and sister heightening your anxiety.

Congratulations on losing 13 pounds! That is a huge accomplishment; be proud of the strides you have made rather than focusing on what more you can do. No one loves everything about the way she looks, even really thin girls. 

Confidence, not an expensive dress, is what makes a bride glow! πŸ™‚ Have fun!!

Post # 4
Member
3671 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

Are your mom and your sister going with you? I would consider either going by myself or taking people who are more supportive and don’t make you feel uncomfortable.  I have confidence that you will find a dress that makes you feel beautiful and I can’t wait to hear about how it goes!

Post # 5
Member
8353 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

First, I suggest not taking your mom and your sister with you. You don’t need the extra stress when you are trying on gowns. You can always take them later when you get fitted. If you have a close friend or two, take them with you instead or go by yourself.

And please try not to feel bad. I felt bad trying on gowns too, but it wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be.

There is a young lady that is plus sized on the bee that just posted a wonderful experience when she went to try on gowns. And she looks amazing in the one she chose. Maybe you can pm her for some insight.

Here is her post:

This size 24 said yes to the dress! GREAT experience at AA in Brea

Post # 6
Member
1701 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

You still have quite a bit of time before you have to make a decision.  Since you are already doing so well with your weight loss, maybe bring your mom and sister when you are closer to making a decision and have lost more weight.  Instead of being disgusted with yourself for letting yourself go, congratulate yourself on reversing the trend.  The dress thing is fun, but can be stressful.  You don’t need non-supportive people clouding your judgement.

Post # 7
Member
1390 posts
Bumble bee

Try http://www.ariadress.com. They are very affordable and since they only have stores in Boston, DC and LA they will send you a sample dress to try on for $15!

Post # 9
Member
3255 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@Engaged_With_Love: Any dress can be taken in, but the more alterations you need, the more your price goes up. I have a friend who had a size 10 vintage dress altered down to a size 4, but she definitely paid the price for it. Once alterations come into play, a bargain dress can turn into an expensive one!

If I were you, I wouldn’t allow myself to buy anything when I go shopping for the first time unless some crazy clearance deal comes up where you have to decide on the spot! πŸ™‚ Get a feel for what you like and write down the style numbers of your top favorites in a notebook. Then you can wait a couple of months before you actually purchase the dress, see how much weight you lose, and then make the splurge. 

I made the mistake of buying the first dress I thought was “the one,” then ended up returning it later. Thank goodness for the retailer’s good return policy. Save yourself a headache by not making a sudden purchase like I did. πŸ™‚

You also should remember that if you lose so much weight, you might have different tastes about what flatters you most being that your shape will be quite different. If you buy a dress now, you might not like how it looks once you lose weight. Just have fun and relax!!

Post # 10
Member
11325 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

I am/was in a similar situation. 75 pounds over what i think is acceptable and hoping to lose 50 of that before the wedding. I lost 10 pounds before trying on dresses and I really couldn’t wait any longer. I was also super nervous about trying on dresses, finding samples that fit me, and about my mom making comments that would hurt my feelings (she doesn’t TRY to hurt my feelings but sometimes she does). I have to say… dress shopping (while exhausting) was about 100x better than I expected. 

I went to David’s Bridal first because I knew they’d have dresses in all sizes and I wanted a confidence booster of putting on dresses that FIT. Plus I figured I could figure out what sillouettes I liked so that if I couldn’t try on many dresses at other stores I would have some idea of what would look good on me. I also made appointments at 3 other stores and when I called to make the appointments I told them my street size and asked if they had dresses to fit me. Two of the three stores had plenty of dresses to try on. Like– PLENTY. They had whole sections that were plus size and At worst I was trying on a dress that wouldn’t zip/lace up. The other shop just said “don’t worry about it” but I kinda should have. They told me to pick out any dress I liked and they’d “make it work.” Well um… they kinda did but ow. Shoving my size 16/18 ass into a size 12 bridal sample = not easy. But they did it! The dresses looked kind of funny bc they were so tight and it was not super comfortable, but they were nice about it at least and I was able to get all but 2 dresses on. 

As for my plan of losing weight, because I knew how much I wanted to lose and that I plan to keep trying to lose right up until the wedding, I decided a corset back was a MUST. It is so much more forgiving (depending on the dress up to 1 size in either direction), and it meant that I wouldn’t have to worry about any weight I’d lose between my fittings and the actual wedding. Because I want to lose 40 more pounds between when I ordered the dress and when the wedding is, I took that into consideration with ordering. For me, 1 size = about 15-20 pounds. So I think that I will be 2 maybe 3 sizes smaller at the time of the wedding. My measurements put me into a bridal size 20 (bridal sizes are always like 2 higher than street size. best to make peace with that now). I decided I didn’t want to order TOO small because then it would be super stressful trying to make sure I lost enough. So I went with a bridal size 18. That way, if I lose another 20 pounds it will fit perfectly, if I lose 30 pounds it will still fit because I can just pull the corset tighter, and if I only lose 10 pounds it will still fit because the corset will be slightly looser. I felt VERY confident I can lose at least another 10 pounds so I wasn’t that worried about this. If I lose more than 2 sizes then I will have to get it taken in, but only like 1 size which isn’t that big of a deal. 

So there ya have it… my thoughts and strategies. If you want more info or a pep talk, feel free to pm me πŸ™‚ 

Post # 12
Member
11325 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

@Engaged_With_Love: glad I could help πŸ™‚ I think it helped me to just kind of be un-apologetic about my size. I told them right up front on the phone so the consultant would know and I wouldn’t get surprised when I walked in and they were like “oh we have nothing.” About ordering a size down… you know you best. I have a history of success in weight loss and then eventually gaining it back. But it isn’t that I don’t know HOW to lose weight its just that I have a hard time maintaining. So I feel pretty confident about my abilities to lose at LEAST 10 more pounds and hopefully more. Plus, of course, the corset back. Good luck and make sure you let us know how it goes!! One more thing btw… someone mentioned that you have lots of time? You kinda dont. I had one place yell at me for waiting “too long” at 8.5 months out. Now… if you start shopping now you have plenty of time… but definitely don’t wait another few months because you don’t want to feel rushed into finding something. 

Post # 13
Member
88 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I was also worried about trying on dresses; I am a 16/18 street size also.  I went to two smaller bridal shops and David’s Bridal, and it was so much better than I thought.  One store had tons of stuff in many different sizes; several dresses I tried on were actually too big. The corset backs made things a lot easier too; even if the dress did not really fit, the back could still be laced up to get an idea of what it would look like.

David’s had a lot in my actual size (which, as has been posted, was two sizes up in the bridal sizing).  I also agree that you don’t have a lot of time as others have mentioned.  I am a little under a year out and all the stores I went to mentioned that it was perfect timing to start looking and purchasing.  I definitely would NOT wait a few months to purchse; all three shops recommended purchasing before Christmas, and my wedding is 4 months after yours.

It really will not be as bad as you think; everyone who helped me was really nice and no one really made me feel bad at all.  It might be easier said than done, but at some point, I just got over it and accepted that this is the size I was at the time, and there wasn’t anything I could to change it.  Seriously, though, get over it, embrace it, and find a dress…I promise it won’t be that bad!

Post # 14
Member
3 posts
Wannabee

I got my dress at a FABULOUS new salon in Rochester, IN called Miss Pamela’s.  I don’t know exactly where Oxford, MI is located in relation, but it may be worth the drive.  They specialize in Plus-Size bridal and don’t even have samples smaller than a size 12.  I think they actually go up into, like size 30 or 32! The ladies, Miss Pamela is the owner or course, were so helpful and respectful.  Not ONCE did they make me feel embarrassed or ashamed.  Actually, they made me feel beautiful and finally like a bride.  And their dresses aren’t frumpy, “big-girl” dresses. They are just as stylish as the “skinny girl” dresses. They even had dresses from Maggie Sottero and other designers that don’t have a “women’s” line but have dresses that look great on full figured women.  I know this sounds like a shameless plug for Miss Pamela’s, but they were so good to me, I just want to shout it from the roof tops!  With your wedding being close to mine, I wouldn’t wait too long.  They told me that it could take around 4 months or so for my dress to come in, and then I will need time for alterations.  Good Luck! I hope you have as great an experience as I did!

Post # 15
Member
11 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2011

SOOO glad I read this thread, it has been really helpful and I just wanted to say thank you for the advice! If your sister and mom can’t be supportive than you shouldn’t take them wiith you. IMO

I am in the same boat, but I have not yet tried on any dresses and am scared to death to even begin. I would be happy losing about 60 lbs. before my wedding in April, but the reality of that is unlikely. I  have a thyroid condition and it makes losing weight dang near impossible. My wedding is 7 months from today so I know that I need to get on this, but just couldn’t make myself do it. I think now I will go ahead and make the leap!

Good luck I hope you have an amzing time looking for the dress of your dreams!

Post # 16
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

I was really scared to try on dresses because my boobs are so big, I thought I would look like Pamela Anderson in everything and not be able to find anything ‘bridal’ on me. I was totally wrong, turns out wedding dresses (unlike most clothing) are actually designed for a woman’s body!

I actually made two of my friends come with me to a bridal salon for support before the big Kleinfeld trip just so I could build some confidence first. That helped a lot!

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