(Closed) Imagine you grew up poor and got a 90k/yr job but now have to quit it.

posted 4 years ago in Career
Post # 3
395 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I’d ask how long you’d ne there for, if there’s a chance of coming back? Also, when is the move, is it for sure happening?

Post # 5
14020 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

If my husband earned a lot more than me, I’d be more than happy to quit my job and make sure he can bring home that paycheck!

Post # 7
2037 posts
Buzzing bee

@pinkshoes:  +1

@vegas:  OP I grew up poor too Undecided I make the best money I’ve ever made in a city not really affected by the recession…plus 5500 a year for schooling, full benefits with the bells and whistles..etc, etc

I am TERRIFIED to leave and lose my salary but I’ve been told that the couple should follow the breadwinner.

Keep with a positive attitude..and believe that you WILL be okay and find a decent job where you go next.  YOU CAN DO IT!! Laughing

Post # 8
134 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I don’t know your cultural background, but moving to another country is a serious decision. Especially if children get involved. Think about what you and your fiance want to do in the future and move from there. This move could complicate things immensely. Could he find a similarly paying job in the States? What about you? Given the fact that you’re open to moving, find some good-paying jobs in your fields in America and move there. Decide what’s important to you, beyond the rose-colored glasses, and good luck in your future endeavors.

Post # 9
134 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@pinkshoes:  Same, if he lived/moved within a certain geographical region/country. I think the issue of moving states is completely different from moving countries/hemispheres.

Post # 10
11270 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

With bonuses, I made slightly more than that when I quit my job after marrying my DH and having to relocate to a small town in another state.  However, my DH (who is a pastor) makes dramatically less than I did, and I haven’t been able to find a job in this area, so that definitely was an adjustment for me.

Post # 11
7315 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

Honest answer? I don’t know if I could do it. I have a strong need for financial independence and I love my career. It’s part of my identity. So walking away from my career to follow my partner’s career? Call me selfish, but I just don’t know if I could bring myself to do it and be dependent on my partner for financial support. In my head, I know that we are a financial team, but I just don’t know if I could handle the immense anxiety I would experience in that situation.

We talked about this before we got married. There are 10 cities in the US where I can work for my employer (where I’ve already invested a large amount of time building my career). I made it clear to Mr. Lk that if he had the desire to live somewhere else and try something new, options are limited to those 10 cities. At that point he was working for an employer with substantial overseas options. We agreed that, if he had the strong desire to explore those options, we would need to develop a plan to enable me to go back to school for a masters in a field realted to my current one that would be marketable on an international level, and that I would not move until I had a job secured, even if that meant that we lived apart for a period of time. I just… I can’t not work. I can’t. 

OP- What is the market like for your career field in HK? Would you be willing to do a LDR until you could get a HK job lined up?

Post # 12
3035 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@vegas:  Is your job one you can do remotely? Maybe you can work something out with your employer. 

My advice is before you quit you job and move across the country, get legally married first. 

If I were you, I would be thrilled to have the experience to live in another country for 5 years. I know it would be hard to give up a job that pays really amazing, but you can hopefully find work in HK. I think its a great opportunity!


Post # 13
6257 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2014

I would let him move there for a couple months, THEN quit.

What if he hates the job or winds up not being able to stand the area/adjust to the culture there?

Post # 14
50 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Moving across continents for spouse’s job prospect is difficult. I moved the other way round, from east asia to US for my husband’s job and it has been 4 years since i last had a proper job due to visa issues and cultural differences. How long are you guys planning to stay in HK?? Is his pay more than sufficient to cover both your living costs? HK is one of the most expensive cities to live in and my advice to you is to let your SO move first (at least for 6 months to 1 yr) and then decide for yourself. It is also cost prohibitve to own a car in HK much less a house. Most people live in high rise apartments with little space. Also, do consider the language barrier. I speak cantonese and can help you with some basic language learning if you want. 

Post # 15
5664 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I didn’t grow up poor, but, I still wanted to stop by and say, you are NOT your parents. Just because you leave this job does not mean you won’t hold down another, I am sure you have a TON of personal resources, that will keep you in a well paying job. And if you aren’t able to find something right away, that’s ok beacuse your fiance can support you both for the time being. You also aren’t “not holding a job down” anymore, you’re knowingly leaving to follow better opportunities for your partner. 

I’m sure it’s difficult to let go of such great money when you have lived so much of your life paycheck to paycheck but assuming you got this job because you are well qualified, and not as a fluke lucky chance, I am sure you will be able to find soething else that you well succeed at.

Post # 16
50 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Among other things to consider is also not being able to see your family members, time difference for skype chats, not able to have your favorite comfort food, not celebrating your favorite holidays, not having any friends or any sort of emotional support etc…Getting a job in a foreign country doesn’t just depend on your current qualifications and work history, because visa issues, work permit and other issues come into play as well. Eg for my case, i do not have a social security number in the US and my spousal visa status does not allow me to apply for it, which makes things very hard.

My advice is, be prepared in the case that you do not find any employment, does this breed any resentment with your fiance and your family? My family hated me for not being able to get a job after working so hard for my degree. I speak and write english well, but still find it hard to fit into US culture. Maybe you should visit your SO once he settles in to get an idea of how is it living in HK. 


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