(Closed) Immediate Family Only Wedding: Guest that aren’t invited…

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: When do we tell uninvited family/friends that we are getting married
    Before the Wedding : (18 votes)
    60 %
    After the Wedding : (11 votes)
    37 %
    Other (explain) : (1 votes)
    3 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    5096 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    Given that you only see them once a year, I don’t think you need to mention it beforehand.  If you do holiday cards, you could include the news there; otherwise you could send traditional wedding announcements.

    The only kink in this would be if your immediate family is likely to blab about it before the wedding to other family members.

    Post # 4
    Member
    6893 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: March 2012

    To me, I’d be paranoid that my family or someone would let it slip (I know some of mine would) so I would rather just get it out in the open beforehand. A lot of people makes it harder to keep something quiet.

    Post # 5
    Member
    349 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    Since it’s not until September, I voted before. If it were like next week.. you could definitely wait until after. You could have the extended family over for a bbq when you get back from your honeymoon if you really wanted to just to celebrate with the extended fam.

    You don’t owe them any real explanation other than that, we just really wanted something intimate with just our immediate family.

    Post # 6
    Member
    2788 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: January 2011

    To me, this sounds like the perfect scenario to send a wedding announcement, and you can send it immediately after the wedding.

    Post # 7
    Member
    7975 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    I too was going to suggest wedding announcements. I would ask someone who you trust to get a really good pic of you (or have your photog email them a preview pic the day of the wedding) and send them out on your behalf while you’re on your honeymoon.

    Post # 8
    Member
    29 posts
    Newbee

    I would say tell them now, but that’s only because I’m currently dealing with a bigg situation where everyone in my extended family assumed they were invited, and when it came out that my cousins aren’t invited, it’s become a huge huge deal. there’s even talk among my aunts of “boycotting” my wedding. It’s only been 2 months since I told them I was engaged, but apparently that was 2 months too long.

    FYI–I hope you don’t deal with what I’m going through and that your family is understanding of your choice! there is really nothing worse than family members who make your wedding about themselves, not about the couple getting married 🙁 

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