(Closed) Immediate family only?

posted 8 years ago in Destination Weddings
Post # 3
1927 posts
Buzzing bee

I didn’t do this but my first advice would be to stop talking about the wedding at all to anyone that you don’t plan on inviting.  If people ask questions just say that plans are still up in the air (which is completely reasonable since your wedding isn’t until 2012).  Once your plans are set in stone.. if people ask about the wedding I would just casually mention that you will be having a private family only ceremony.. and then start talking about your at home reception.

Post # 4
88 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I would be more hurt if I knew that my friend was getting married and then never heard anything about it until after the wedding. I would just be up front with them. No friends means no friends. My Maid/Matron of Honor is doing that and while I am pretty upset about it, I realize that it is literally immediate family and that makes me feel better. Plus, knowing about it SO far in advance helps too.

Post # 5
83 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

If you’re both 100% sure that you only want it to be immediate family, I think you can tell people that and they would understand.  As long as the line you draw is a clear line, it shouldn’t be a problem.  They might be disappointed that they can’t go but they wouldn’t feel like you were just excluding them, and maybe not some other friends.

We had a destination wedding and only invited family up to a certain point (1st cousins only) and a few friends (instead of a bridal party). My parents had told some of (my large) extended family we were having a destination wedding before discussing it with us so we made it really clear where the line was (and that everyone is invited to the at-home reception).  People understood that we wanted to keep it small and there weren’t any issues (that I know of!).  With friends, it wasn’t really an issue at all since we just told people we were keeping it very small from the beginning.

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