(Closed) Immitation of the sincerest form of flattery

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
4159 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I have to be honest, I’d be a little peeved.  Even thought I’m sure I wouldn’t have been the first person with those ideas, to have a friend do EVERYTHING exactly the same is annoying.  If it were a couple things that she took from the first wedding, no big deal.  But everything?  Get some of your own ideas!

Post # 4
581 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@Ryansgirl:  agreed.  When you copy that much, it’s not your wedding anymore.

Post # 5
645 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I wouldn’t care but I say that because a year after me one of my really good friends used the same venue as me and almost all of my same vendors but the wedding still felt different. It was an awesome place to get married – pink is a popular color and so are the flowers we both chose!

Post # 6
2 posts
  • Wedding: May 2012

I’m having this same issue after just getting married about a week ago.  I have friends getting married this year and next year and they compliment and say they are going to do the same thing or some have even offered themselves to take what I have!  The part that bothers me is that my whole wedding was DIY and took a year to research and make everything, so I don’t want to just “give away” all of my hard work.  Not sure how to deal with it either.

Post # 7
5096 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Honestly, since it’s coming AFTER her wedding, I wouldn’t care. She won’t be the one who looks like she’s copied everything, after all.

Post # 8
1488 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@mightywombat:  Agreed. I wouldn’t care. It’s her that is going to look like the “copycat” not your friend. Now, if I was planning my wedding and then another friend had her wedding before mine and stole all my ideas then that would tick me off…..

Post # 9
183 posts
Blushing bee

I would be upset. I worked with a girl who got engaged after me and would always ask me about details of my wedding..i found out she set an appointment to look at my venue. She ended up not using it since it was out of her price range (relief) but I was upset at the fact she was coping me. I couldn’t imagine a friend doing it though!

Post # 10
1963 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I think it is strange that she’s copying everything!  I would be a little peeved, but as a PP said, it’s not like YOU copied THEM.

Post # 12
750 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Sometimes it’s the smart thing to do, not because you’re a lazy, copying cow but because those are the BEST vendors, or the best location that fits size/budget, and so on. Some of us just don’t have that many options. I’m getting married in a small town and if I didn’t have the same reception venue my sister had 2 years ago, I don’t know where I’d be. The VFW? I have the same florist, same baker and the same caterer because they’re the best I can afford. She really doesn’t care.  And since we’re sisters, half of my guests will have been at her wedding too. Even if I had the exact same flowers, DJ and cake, who would notice? Me and her? No one else goes through her wedding album and compares.

If they were poaching REALLY unique ideas that were specific for ONE couple, then yeah, that would be annoying. But the same vendors or colors? No. 

Post # 13
269 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I’d probably be upset. I think it’s one thing to have some similar taste or snipe an idea or two, but to have that many similarities and be close to identical would annoy the crap out of me.

I think a lot of people want their weddings to be a reflection of themselves and not something that is cookie-cutter with interchanging brides + grooms. That being said, I don’t know what I would do in the situation since I probably wouldn’t say anything.

Post # 14
3452 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@mightywombat:  Yeah, this.

It IS a different wedding.  A different couple is getting married.  Also, I’m guessing that most of the guests (at least more than half) that are invited to this one were not at the other one?  Am I right?  Same exact dress for the bride?  How about the bridesmaids?  Tuxes for the groomsmen?  All of those factors make it a different wedding too.

It wouldn’t bother me.  It’s a bit unoriginal, but really it’s not a big deal.  No single bride owns the exclusive rights to a venue, DJ, particular flowers or a color.  So if she was my friend, I’d remind her that there are bigger, more important things to worry about in life.  This is something that she needs to let go.

Post # 15
88 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I would laugh at their lack of originality in private and silently judge them on the day of, lol.

I’d be put out if someone found out all the details of my wedding and held a copycat event before mine, but this person’s is after and there’s been a year long buffer since the wedding being copied. IMO there’s no sense getting that upset about it.

Post # 16
211 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

When I got married the first time, one of my guests told me at my reception that she wanted to do pretty much exactly the same thing I had done. She even took her Fiance to tour the location, and they were talking about booking the venue.

But she turned out to be a messed up very mean person, and now her EX is my FI! And our wedding will be very much different.

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