Post # 1
Hello lovely bees!
I couldn’t decide where to post this since it’s not really about the proposal OR the ring but kind of both…anyway: My boyfriend and I got engaged over the weekend. I had a feeling it was coming (he was getting heavy with hints), but not QUITE this soon. I have tried to accept that the proposal is not the romantic moment I had hoped for (maybe some of you can relate). We had a busy Saturday of laundry (involves laundromat and driving around to get done) and visiting my friends and their 1 year old baby. Bf (now fiancé) suggested going for a walk at a nearby nature trail in between. I argued saying I didn’t want to, we were too busy and I wanted to get to my friend’s before it was too late. He insisted, saying it was going to be one of the last nice days of the year.
I was having a BAD day. My hair wasn’t cooperating, makeup looked like shit, feeling overall frustrated and out of sorts, even a bit depressed. I kept saying “do we have to go?” In the back of my head I thought “Hope he isn’t planning on proposing bc this is the WORST day.” As I was trying to get my hair manageable, he called out “can you come here? There’s something under Princess [our fat cat].” I resisted and thought “he is doing this now. What the heck.” He was acting all weird! Finally I came into the bedroom where he was standing next to the bed. He said “what’s under P?” I looked under her fur and there was a ring. I was like “what’s this?” And before I knew it, he was down on one knee saying “I’ve been trying to do this all day but you’re making it SO DIFFICULT!” I said YES of course, and it was very sweet, but I felt awful because I “ruined” his sweet idea of proposing in the woods. We did end up going on the trail to take a couple of quick engagement selfies—which we’ve not posted—more on that later. We spent all day hugging and kissing and being excited and I couldn’t stop apologizing for “ruining” the engagement. (Having our cat involved is sweet and perfect in its own way—just not what I had imagined/hoped.)
We’ve talked about it and agree in our common-sense minds that a perfect moment doesn’t exist. It’s fine, we love each other, and this is it. He told me he had JUST PICKED UP THE RING FROM THE P.O. that day. He said he “couldn’t wait” and didn’t want to, since we are trying to buy a house in the months to come and he wants a June/July 2018 wedding. Kind of cute that he couldn’t just hold on to the ring once he had it? We’ve told close family/friends but not posted on any social media. My mom visited on Saturday and his mom (future MIL) came over with champagne, she is over the moon as are my future sisters-in-law. We’ve begun some preliminary planning (guest list) as we don’t have much time to plan—I’m 32 and a long engagement is out of the question as we want to have a baby before it’s too late.
I had just about come to terms with the imperfect proposal—mostly my own guilt over being a rigid B-word who can’t be flexible and just go with the flow to let him ask how he wants. I feel terrible. But the important thing is we’re engaged. BUT, another fly in the ointment: Yesterday I noticed a spot on my ring—a small almost indiscernible nick on the band, kind of like a gouge, with a couple of other tiny gouges next to it. I showed it to Fiance and we’ve been trying to decide what to do. He purchased the ring from Etsy (seller KhimJewelry) and they are going to have to repair/remake the ring which involves of course sending it back and waiting another month (apparently how long it took to initially make the ring). Fiance and I are both equally frustrated. I haven’t announced our engagement on SM or told any auxiliary people (coworkers etc) bc I dread that interaction “where’s the ring?” And me having to explain to people about it…ugh. It’s just another layer of frustration and I LOVE the ring, it’s dainty and sweet (very modest, all he could afford) and not wearing it feels like something missing. I also feel like I can’t properly enjoy being engaged, which *should* be this very special time in our lives.
Any advice/similar experiences? Thanks bees as always!
Post # 2
Congratulations on your engagement!
I actually think your proposal story is kinda sweet and romantic, if not “perfect.” Perfect is boring anyway. 😉 You will look back on it and love that story one day. I was proposed to at our dining room table so my story is even less romantic.
Enjoy! It’s your real life and it’s perfect in its own wonderful way simply because it’s yours.
Post # 3
First of all, congratulations 🙂 It sounds like what you are going through is a normal amount of disappointment, and you are handling it well by realizing that it is kind of silly.
My proposal was extremely similar. Darling Husband got the ring in the mail and couldn’t wait longer than a few hours. He originally planned a picnic proposal but he had to work, so instead we went on a late night walk around our college campus (we’d just graduated a month before). It was hot and humid and we looked awful. I didn’t really want to go, but at that point in our relationship I’d go along with any random suggestions he had just in case they were going to lead to a proposal. I don’t think that most people have the over the top romantic proposal that you read about, and that is fine. The important thing is you are engaged, and happy to be so. Mine was 6 years ago and honestly the propsoal doesn’t matter at all at this point, the marriage does.
And the ring isn’t a huge deal either. Tons of women have to get their rings re-sized right after a proposal, so you are not the first one to be without your ring at the beginning of your engagement. Just remember that once you get it back, you’ll wear it forever so a few weeks in the grand scheme of things is really no big deal.
Post # 4
I don’t see any issue with just telling people that the ring had something wrong with it so you are waiting for it to be remade and sent back. But showing them a picture of it in the mean time. I am sure there are people who need to send their ring back to get it resized all the time. If you feel something is missing by not wearing it, just pick out a cheap $10 ring somewhere and wear that until it comes.
You just need to breath! 🙂 Congrats on your engagement, time to enjoy it! Although your proposal might not have been ideal, it does sound sweet. And I agree it is sweet that he just couldn’t wait (could of been partially nerves lol). Personally I feel he should of read the room and noticed you weren’t having a great day and try some other day and maybe hint that you should get dolled up. But he didn’t and he did it his own way! Haha with the cat named Princess and him putting the ring under her, it reminded me of the Princess and the pea.
Post # 5
I think it’s pretty adorable that he ended up putting the ring under your cat! ^.^ I had a less than stellar proposal as well. I was literally in the middle of cleaning bathrooms on a Sunday morning, still in my pajamas with no make up and hair pulled up in a ball. I walked by the kitchen and he called me in there. He had been acting weird all morning but I didn’t think in a million years it was a proposal because we never really talked about it. He stood in front of the sink and all of a sudden pulled a ring box out of his pocket. I was so shocked I forgot to say yes! I just threw my arms around him, and he finally said, “Well… will you??”
Really all that matters is you are engaged to the man you love! How exciting! I understand your frustration about the ring, but I would still tell people about the engagement. When they ask to see the ring, tell them it is being sized.
Post # 6
I can’t speak to your proposal (I proposed to my fiance when we both had colds while wearing pj’s because I just couldn’t wait for the perfect day I had planned. We still cried and both of us loved the romance of it.)
But I will mention about the ring. What kind of metal is your ring made out of? And how big is the mark? Could you show a picture? My ring has several scratches and dents on the under side (where my palm is) because it makes contact with things. If you have a rhodium plated ring this is less likely because rhodium is very hard. But if you have unplated gold, silver, or platinum, the metal is soft and will get little marks. If it’s not noticeable, it’s probably just normal wear and tear. And if it’s normal wear and tear, you can just polish it away (though I wouldn’t be polishing the ring every week so you don’t rub the ring to nothing)
Post # 7
I didn’t care for my proposal either. He did it publically in front of a lot of people we know(but that are from ‘his side’ if that makes sense), and though I wasn’t particularly picky, “private” was probabaly my #1 criteria that I hadn’t communicated (didn’t think I had to). I cut him off during his speech because I wanted it to just be over–I was so uncomfortable. And I hate it when people ask the proposal story because I don’t like reliving it.
But! I am still happy and excited to marry him. I would have much preferred if my proposal had gone like yours — at least you were alone!
Post # 9
Sunfire : Aw thank you!! It is 🙂
MrsNerdy : That makes me feel better! I like your proposal story. It does feel more “real” than something big or elaborate. Something to be said for when they are so eager they just can’t wait!
MissMayhem : Thanks lady! Yes the cat part is pretty adorable. <3 Your proposal story is so cute, it’s absolutely real and I love that.
bumblebug : Hi! My ring is made out of 14k rose gold.
curiouscat2017 : Yipes! I can see a lot of people wanting that public proposal but for us being alone definitely felt right. It is a private moment imo and I can see that being uncomfortable.
Post # 10
jeshicat : omg how did I miss this post! Princess and the pea! How perfect. I know it sounds odd but Princess (Pcess) is a big part of our relationship <3 I also agree and wish he’d “read the room” but he def had nerves and had it in his head he was doing it no matter what, which in its own way is quite wonderful.
Post # 11
Omg, this story warmed my heart. You got a good man who loves you and just couldn’t wait another moment. The cat proposal slayed me. Congratulations bee!!!
Post # 12
I think it’s very romantic that he couldn’t wait to propose!! You might have felt you were having a bad day—bad hair and all—but he obviously thinks you’re beautiful just the way you are.
Regarding the ring—you can be engaged and tell them the ring hadn’t to go back to the jeweler. When I got engaged, we hadn’t to send the ring to get sized. I told people, “We’re engaged. I have a ring, but it’s at the jeweler.” People are pretty used to that—it’s a bigger deal to you than them. They’ll just be excited for your engagement!!
Post # 13
Could you add a picture of the nicks to your ring? Rose gold has no coating on it and gold is a soft metal. If it’s almost indiscernible, then you might have just bumped your hand on something hard and it is most likely just normal wear and tear. And if the scratch is shallow enough and bothers you badly, you could just polish it away.
Post # 14
msmeow85 : I think your proposal sounds super cute! I had a long day of driving and was in an okay mood for mine, which I thought wasn’t real because he ask if I would marry him, “for realzies”, but it makes me laugh now.
This was a week and a half ago and we’re not publicly telling people we’re engaged because the ring was almost done (getting delivered today! Also why I haven’t made a big post about it here yet), so I understand what you’re saying about not being able to show people the ring. However, since you can take pics of it and it will take longer than mine did, I would recommend going forth and being public about it, and showing them a picture when they ask. It won’t take away from the big moment as much as you think, and I doubt it’ll be super tiring to explain. Jewelry takes time, and most people understand that.
Congrats on your engagement!
Post # 15
For a faster fix for your ring, have you taken it to any local jewellers to see if they can repair it? I don’t know much about jewellery repair – just a thought.
Congratulations and don’t worry about it not being perfect! It’s a cute story! My Fiance proposed at the side of the highway, although it was in the mountains and a very beautiful lookout spot. I was so surprised! My ring was a couple sizes too big and I was insistent about getting it resized that day so I could wear it right away. So I sympathize with your frustration of needing repairs. You will have the rest of your life to wear it though – a one month wait is not so bad!
Good luck with your wedding plans for next summer! So exciting!