- 2 years ago
- Wedding: June 2017
For the last two weddings I’ve been to (in NY and LA) I believe we gave $250 as a couple. I spent around $60 for a shower gift (which I could not attend). Both these weddings involved travel, overnight hotels – otherwise I probably would have gifted more in the $300-350 range. When I was younger/single I think my gift was $100.
If I’m not spending a ton on airfare, then I’ll choose something for $100-$150 or give the cash amount.
I’d give more (like $200 or a really sentimental gift) for family or really close friends.
I must be really poor because I never give a gift over 100$. I also almost never give cash. I pick something out from the registry that is around 50$.
I’m a medical resident making the equivalent of minimum wage, with $300K in student loans though, so…
I’m from a large, very high cost of living city in Canada and the norm is pretty much:
Shower gift = $50-100
Wedding gift = $100 for young couples/young families $200-500 for older, financially stable couples
Cover the plate is never an appropriate guideline. That would mean giving more to the couple who can afford or whose parents can afford a more lavish affair. Which is a revolting concept.
The only thing that should be is budget and closeness of relationship. The cost of travel is connected to ability to attend.
Rule of thumb is to figure out what you would like to give and if there is a shower, divide the amount you plan to spend between the two events. Shower gifts are meant to be modest and practical.
Also, I think its crazy that some people dont let travel costs factor in. Traveling to weddings is very expensive (most weddings I have been to have been at least 1000 to get to after flights and hotels). I think its important to celebrate someones marriage (and give them a token of appreciation, but not everyone has $300-400 to give when they are shelling out a paycheck to travel to a wedding and often times bachelorette parties!)
I haven’t been to a wedding in a long time. I’d probably gift $75-$100. Most gifts I’ve gotten were in the $30-$50 range. We live in a fairly lcol area, though. I’d be shocked to receive over $100 from anyone who wasn’t close family.
We give $300-$400 for most people. More if close friends or family.
This is the norm in our social circle though based on what we received.
When we travel, we still do about $100-$150.
we go to a ton of weddings so it does suck sometimes. We had 6 last year and 3 this year.
$200-300 (from the both of us). I’d prefer to give on the higher end but money is tight right now for us.
I feel that if you dont skimp on a gift but dont over spend youll be fine. Also another key factor is making it memorable and heartfelt not something they will throw out which makes it useless. For example art (mishkalo), photos framed (framology), and other sentimental thins, its not about the price completely for me.
The numbers here are absolutely skewing on the higher side and catering to more of an urban wedding. The hubs and I recently attended a rural/banquet hall type of wedding and gave $200. We later learned from the couple that they were shocked and slightly uncomfortable by the gift, as even their closest relatives gave $100 and on average couples gave $50-$75 (again, this was an affordable banquet hall wedding with a beer/wine bar and cash bar for liqour).
My husband and I tend to give between $150-$200 per wedding (for both of us) – maybe closer to $300 for a closer friend. However, we do ok financially and don’t have loans.
At our wedding, here’s what we found was the norm (reception was in a suburb of a large city):
Young couples: $100-$125 (combined)
Financially secure older adults or closer friends: $100 per plate
Close Family: $300-$1,000 (total gift ranging from 1-4 guests total)
Dont let the $200-$300 numbers deter you- unless you live in a super high cost of living part of the country or you’re very well off/a little older, that is not the norm. My husband and I are also a bit younger as were our guests (I was 24 he was 26).
I live in Chicago and I’m an attorney at a large firm. My boyfriend is currently in business school but worked in finance before and has a large amount of savings.
If its my friends wedding I’m in charge of the gift, if its his friends wedding he’s in charge of the gift.
We have to travel for 9/10 of the weddings we attend, so I don’t necessarily factor flights and hotels into our gift giving because its the norm for us at this point.
I usually give $200 if both of us are invited, even if only I attend. I will give slightly more if there are events other than the wedding reception. If there’s a rehearsal dinner and I’m invited, but not in the wedding party or if there’s a Sunday brunch, I’ll add maybe $50 per person.
I don’t think I’m necessarily trying to “cover my plate,” but I appreciate the extra planning that goes into hosting 2-3 large events.
We’ve been to outdoor weddings in the middle of Missouri and very fancy black tie events in Miami and our gift giving does not change. If you invite us to your wedding, that’s what we give you.
Neither of our siblings have been married yet, but I’d imagine giving my sister/his brother more than what I usually give.