Post # 1
Member
193 posts
Blushing bee
…My b/f would have that special little chat with my dad today. Here in Canada it’s Thanksgiving day (Happy Thanksgiving to my Canadian friends on the board!). Every Thanksgiving the men in our family have their annual Meatball Open Golf Tournament (we’re italian, lol). My b/f J has attended every year that we’ve been dating. After I had my breakdown with him and a loooong chat back in August, I thought to myself: “Today would be the perfect day for J to ask my dad for permission. Afterall, J did tell me that he’d probably take my dad golfing when he was going to ask, and what better day than on Thanksgiving while out with the guys…??”
When we had our ‘big chat’ in August, I asked J if he spoke to my dad yet and he said that he did not. Maybe he’s waiting to get the ring first…? I don’t know. Do guys typically ask for permission THEN buy the ring? Or is it the other way around?
Yesterday we came home from visiting J’s family in Ottawa. We only had 3 hours before we had to be at my parents house for another Thanksgiving dinner so I started doing some baking. J went out for the afternoon… Apparently he went to see if he could get his license plate stickers renewed before his b-day on Friday. But when he came home he said that everything was closed (um… duh! He’s a pretty smart guy, and he couldn’t figure that out before he left? I smell a rat…). But the funny thing is… Is that before he went out he came into the kitchen and put his arm around my waist and gave me a huge kiss on the cheek (it was very cute and he was being very affectionate). I thought it was weird, because usually when he goes out he yells from the front door: “K, I’ll be back in a bit!”. I dunno, it was just weird.
*sigh* Thanks for reading my thoughts, lol. I had to get that out.
Gwen.
Post # 3
Member
1559 posts
Bumble bee
Good Luck, Dear!
And to answer your question, my Fiance bought the ring first. However, he never really had to officially ask my dad…. at a family gathering my dad once told him that he didn’t need to ask, he already had permission from him. Then at another gathering, my dad (a bit more drunk this time) asked “So, when are you going to marry my daughter?”
My family adores my Fiance, so after almost 4 years of dating they figured it was about time.
He did show my parents the ring the night before he proposed, though 🙂
Post # 4
Member
2742 posts
Sugar bee
Gwen I’ve been reading and following your posts and you really do chart some of the feelings I go through with my guy. I hope everything works out for you. And how did that baking turn out? I’m at work and I wish I had a lil’ something 🙂
Post # 5
Member
193 posts
Blushing bee
@bRooklynRocks:
Thanks!
The baking turned out ok… Not sure if I’m going to make the pumpkin cheesecake again though, lol. I may have to tweek the recipe a little next time.
@tinylittlebird: I know my dad would give J permission, but I think my dad is getting very impatient and pi$$ed off with him because he hasn’t made a move yet. It sucks, but I think J wants things to be ‘just right’. I could care less at this point. Just do it already!
GVD
Post # 6
Member
767 posts
Busy bee
Regarding the talking to parents/buying a ring question, my guy talked to my parents before he was seriously looking into rings (talked to them back in May, when I’m SURE he didn’t have a ring). That was also because we were moving to a new city together, and my parents were expressing disapproval at “our” lack of official commitment.
I hate to be a downer, but sometime the jewelry buying process takes a while. I know my guy has been actively working on it for at least 2.5 months…. and I’m still waiting. I hope for your sake that after your guy gets going he wont be able to wait and will propose quickly!! I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you.
Post # 7
Member
935 posts
Busy bee
Hmmm…Good luck hon! I did some backing yesterday too. Rachael Ray’s mango rum tartlets, the recipe is in this month’s Thanksgiving issue. If you’re interested you can PM me and I’ll scan it for you 🙂 my first experience with puff pastry and they turned out pretty well.
I’ve been following too. I hope it happens for you soon and I know it’s SO frustrating. Here’s hoping that he was “up to something” when he said he was getting the license stickers business handled…
Post # 8
Member
2308 posts
Buzzing bee
Oh how I hope he was being sneaky. Here’s to hoping he’s having the talk with your dad soon.
Good luck and happy thanksgiving.
Post # 9
Member
130 posts
Blushing bee
Man’s POV
First, Happy Thanksgiving! Why does Canada have a Thanksgiving, I thought just the states celebrated stealing land???
To answer your question, I spoke to Miss Coffee’s grandfather before even buying the ring (Father is not in the picture). I knew he would approve, but I was raised with understanding that some old school traditions you just don’t mess with.
However, I will tell you that even if you can say “my dad would say yes” or “of course he would approve”… the actual conversation… that big one on one… is enough to make a statue nervous.
The key in my last sentence is “one on one”; most guys, want the environment to just right. It has to be the right timing, place, and even sometimes… the right alcoholic beverage. 🙂
If I read your post correctly, you anticipated him asking at your families annual golf outing. However, it could just be that being in a setting where it’s more than just Boyfriend or Best Friend and father… meaning a bunch of other guys… then it may not be the right place to have that big one on one.
Secondly, many guys do in fact buy the ring first. Because, even if you don’t believe me… for some fathers, already having the ring is an automatic sign of financial security.
Hang in there Gwen!
Mr Coffee 🙂
Post # 11
Member
471 posts
Helper bee
Hmmmm… he disappeared for part of the afternoon.. 🙂 That’s definitely encouraging. I’ve been rooting for you and following your posts too. I really hope he had a convo with your dad today. I agree that it’d be the perfect opportunity, even better if he had a second to get him alone so they could talk in private.
Let us know what happens! Hopefully October is your month! You’ve definitely put in your time! Good luck 🙂
