Post # 1
This month has been uber stressful. I’ve been trying trying trying to finish my dissertation on top of working full time and its just left me a ball of stress that hasn’t really wanted to have sex with Boyfriend or Best Friend because I feel gross and tired and stressed and completely not sexy. Boyfriend or Best Friend is wonderful and patient but I can see its taking a toll on him to not get the attention he’s needing. On top of that he sees me in my bouts of procrastination, when I just can’t look at the diss and need a few minutes of downtime looking at wedding bee, or in the case of last night (“bride day on TLC”) watching say yes to the dress. I’ve also been spending a lot of time on cruise planning websites because we’re going on a cruise in 89 days but he didn’t mention that specifically. I’ve actually found myself in all honesty getting bored with the Bee until I can actually dive into wedding planning (and no I really haven’t started planning until Boyfriend or Best Friend asks me) but Boyfriend or Best Friend doesn’t see that.
Last night we had a serious discussion about a lot of this in which Boyfriend or Best Friend told me he feels like he is just a vehicle to give me a ring and a wedding and its truly bothering him. That couldn’t be further from the truth. Yes, I want a wedding I can share with my famiy and friends, but if it came down to it I would elope, because its HIM. I want him, but I don’t know how to convince him of that. I go on the Bee so fo a few minutes I can think about life after the stupid dissertation. But I don’t want Boyfriend or Best Friend to feel that I love weddings more than I love him, because trust me, I don’t.
I’m not sure what to do at this point. I will finish my dissertation this weekend and then hopefully can get pulled out of this rut but I need to convince my Boyfriend or Best Friend that I really do love him (he knows, but its just the feeling he’s getting). Sigh, thoughts?
Post # 3
I don’t have any, but my guy has said this before and it pissed.me.off. If I was one of those women, I’d be riding his ass and engaged by now!LOL
anyway, maybe just spend more time with him. He probably just sees all the wedding things and that’s what conclusion he’s come to. I took a break from the bee as well because it has been boring until I’m engaged. I’m mostly on Hellobee, talking about baby stuff.
Good luck, hope he realizes what you REALLY want.
Post # 4
URG, I’ve been accused of that. I didn’t take it very well. I was doing an internship, working, and taking 18 hours at school (It really does take the life out of you) I listed out an entire slew of reasons why I want to marry HIM and not just THAT GUY. Then I told him he needed to think about IF he even wanted to marry me becauseI feel I’m just that girlfriend. One of the only times I’ve ever been angry with him.
Congrats on having your DIS almost done, I am personally dreading that because its soo not my style but I want my Ph.D soo badly! 🙁
Really, if you want to get a little angry at him and blow up on him a little bit (especially if you rarely ever do that) this is the time when I’d encourage it because of how stressed you are, it helps to take it away and gives him a more complete picture as to what’s going on in your head instead of if you decide to rational it for him. Being emotional while a lot of the time doesn’t help, in this instance it really might!
Post # 5
So this has all blown up in my face and Boyfriend or Best Friend and I are barely talking to each other right now. This conversation turned into one about expectations and here I was thinking we were on the same page, after many MANY MANY conversations about getting engaged and married and I find out that he doesn’t know if he wants to get engaged this summer and doesn’t know when he will feel ready to, despite him saying he would marry me tomorrow. Depsite him pseudo proposing last new years. I’m at a loss to what even write here. I feel so lost and lied to to be honest but I also don’t want to pressure him. I don’t know what to do and all I want to do is curl into a ball. Sigh. Sorry, I just don’t know….