(Closed) In a week, it could be over (some swearing)

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 122
Member
3770 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 1999

Wow his “I don’t know when I will be home, I need alone time” is really manipulative. I would respond with you have 6 days of alone time to figure everything out.

Post # 123
Member
174 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

You know what really gets me…hes 30!

 

 

Post # 124
Member
2776 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

View original reply
@mayflowerbride13:  ETA: Me: Look, I love you and we’re both at work, I don’t want to fight, but the expectations vs the amount of money we have to spend is not realistic.

and he ends this with “I dont know what time I’ll be home tonight, I need alone time”


If you were my friend and we were sitting down having coffee and you told me all of this and showed me these texts you know what I would say to you?

I would say oh honey I love you don’t marry him.

This dude is 30 you are 7 years younger than him and you are the mature one here.  How long have you been together?  If you married this guy you would already have a baby you wouldn’t need another one.

All that being said Fiance had mommy issues too because she really didn’t give a shit about any of her kids.  We worked through that.  He used to shut down.  We worked through that.  You know how long that all took? Three years of both of us putting in an effort.

Your Fiance is ridiculous.  This is ridiculous.  This is no way to start out.  It sounds like you are sick of it and ready to walk out.  

If you want to see this through anyway I would give him the week go to the wedding go to the party and then talk to him again.  If he still acts like a baby you basically in my mind have two choices.  Leave or postpone the wedding and live together longer to see if you can deal with his crap or if he is willing to work on it.

And this flip flop crap, act like a baby then give you a hug, Fiance did this at times too and it drives me nuts.  We are still working on things but come light years from where we were. And he has never once said oh I’m not coming home tonight.  I know men who do this, there marriages are in shambles or over.  I’m not coming home tonight is passive agressive.  You don’t need a life full of crap like this.  I don’t see this getting better.  I would leave and if things were meant to work out then you could maybe get back together later.  But I just see him hooking up with the next person, proposing to them, and shoving a 70K-100k wedding on them because mommy wants me to.

Sorry to be so harsh but I really don’t see this going anywhere positive, you are young and having health issues due to this.  He’s not getting better hes acting like a child and unless you say something he wants to hear you don’t get treated well, if you say something he doesn’t want to hear he acts like a child until he gets his way, if he doesn’t he tries to hug it out and make it go away.  This wouldn’t work for me and from the sounds of it its not making you very happy either.

Post # 126
Member
9940 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

View original reply
@ieatunicorns:  +1.

Post # 127
Member
9940 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

View original reply
@mayflowerbride13:   You are doing the right thing.  Stand your ground.  And if I were you I’d be staying with a friend for the next few days, not with him.  He’s treating you very badly right now.

Post # 128
Member
2776 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

View original reply
@mayflowerbride13:  Good for you for staying strong!  Wish you the best of luck and no matter what happens at the end of the week at least you will know in your heart of hearts that you did everything you could to make it work!

Post # 129
Member
1139 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I just have to say that usually when I see these posts its rarely a bee standing up for herself and knowing what she has to do. Kudos for being the exception 🙂

Post # 131
Member
2247 posts
Buzzing bee

Wow, he is really acting like a child.  Are you sure you can deal with his spoiled, immature mode of thinking for the rest of your life?  He is sitting there telling you he doesn’t need a house, but he needs a midnight buffet for 250 guests!  That is highly irresponsible.  For what you’ll spend to pull of this ridiculously over-the-top affair, you could put down a payment on a house (assuming you had to supplement another 35K on top of what your parents are giving).  What about when you guys have kids?  Is he gonna want to spend $10,000 on a christening party instead of putting money up for college?  Or what if he decides he wants a motorcycle or a new car?  He’s not thinking responsibly, at all!

Post # 132
Member
11231 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

View original reply
@Mrs Christopher:  + a million

OP, big hugs from me for the end of the day. I would have flipped my shit already, so good for you for staying so calm and rational up to this point.

Post # 135
Member
139 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I’m so sorry you have to go through this. You have been extremely thoughtful & patient in givIng all the alternative options in the world. He sounds a tad immature at the moment. All I can say is hang in there, I really hope he can come to his senses and you guys can work smthg out.

Dozens of hugs from me. <3

Post # 136
Member
139 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

View original reply
@vorpalette:  Agree! I would have sucker punched, dried his bank account, and smear cat poo over his car. *sigh I’m not a good catch nope.

The topic ‘In a week, it could be over (some swearing)’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors