- 2 years ago
Regular bee under an anonymous account. I never thought I would have to write that sentence. I need you bees to hear what is happening between my husband and I and…I don’t know, just please read on. Just so you know Darling Husband knows I’m posting this, and has no issue with it.
Darling Husband and I got married young. He was 25, I was 22 and we were (and still are) very much in love. We have great communication, try our best to be thoughtful of each other, and for the most part have a fantastic relationship. 6 years later I’m still in love with him, and he with me. But something has come up and I truly don’t know what to do.
We dated and were married within the same religion, the same one we were both raised in and expect to raise our daughter in. However after many years of conflict, I have decided to leave said religion. I have nothing against it, I’m just tired of trying to uphold a faith I don’t have and believe in things I simply do not believe in. While this of course makes Darling Husband sad, he knows it can’t be forced. I have no issues with raising our daughter in it and with him continuing to practice, if that is what makes him happy in life, then by all means go for it.
The issue arises when it comes to MY belief. I have found something I would like to practice. This something does not involve me attending a church or anything and would honestly be a very private thing. I would in no way force it on him or anything, I just feel like it’s something that could potentially make me happy. The issue?
He has made it more than clear that if I begin this practice, he will leave me.
This breaks my heart into so many pieces. He says it isn’t because he doesn’t love me, but because his faith does not condone it, therefore he cannot condone his spouse doing it. He says I wish I could see how selfish I’m being and that it will tear our family apart.
But isn’t he being just as selfish? He does not seem bothered by the hypocrisy of his decision, and I’m so hurt and confused. He says that expecting your spouse not to do certain behaviors is a normal part of marriage, but I didn’t think that extended to religious or philisophical freedom. I figured those expectations were things like fidelity and respect, not dictating the practice of one’s beliefs.
He always says “I’m not telling you what you can and can’t do, I’m telling you there will be consequences.”
What do I do, bees? I’m hurting so much.