In desperate need of advice/opinions

posted 2 years ago in Relationships
Post # 46
Member
808 posts
Busy bee

Religion in its purest form isn’t just a hobby to make you feel happy, or to have a community, or showing up to church every weekend…it’s a complete lifestyle; the basis of your worldview, your morals, your overall beliefs, etc. If practicing witchcraft is offensive to his religion, it’s not his selfishness, or lack of love for you, or fear of the unkown, or ignorance (or what have you) that will bring him to leave someone he loves…rather it would be his personal religious convictions, which I’m sure you understand isn’t something to be taken lightly. 

I think an important question is why do you want to practice witchcraft? Are you looking for the meaning of life? Exploring the unknown? Or do you just want a sense of belonging to something and to have an active hobby in pursuit of your own happiness?…Why is it so important to you if you just want it to be a non-religious practice? 

If it’s nothing more than a hobby to you, I really don’t think holding onto this aspiration and risking your family is worth it. Marriage is about commitment, but you can only take it so far. If cheating on him made you happy, would you still expect him to tolerate that? This likely hurts him just as much as cheating would. You know his religious restrictions, and you were both apart of that same religion when you got married…so it’s not really fair to expect him to accept your practices that offend his beliefs that he’s held from the beginning. 

If you’re trying to explore truth or build a basis of personal belief, I think that’s a much deeper discussion which you should likely have with your husband. But again, if it’s a mere pursuit of a hobby that he religiously disapproves of, I think it would be best to start looking for other hobbies. Herbology and naturalism–while often used in witchcraft–are perfectly innocent on their own, for example…it’s a growing community, too, which aren’t associated with witches. Maybe you can try something like that? 🙂 

Post # 47
Member
9671 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

dgirl715 :  I’m certainly not saying all people fear other religions but some people do which is evidenced in this thread.

My comment was more of a general comment about religion, not about OP and her husband specifically. I actually agree with most all of what you said, I would imagine an interfaith marriage to be incredibly challenging.

Post # 48
Member
330 posts
Helper bee

slomotion :  no, I say in Christian belief to deal with the occult is to open a door to unknown powers. In Christian belief it is foolish indeed the human being who dabbles in such thing believing they can shut what they have opened. I myself am nearly 40 years. I studied Bible, Quran Torah in original language and because I can not  learn to read Pali  I live in a monastery for three years. My sister that came wiith me convert to LDS while I find truth in my root. However you can know I honor religion and see it’s beauty in the many diverse searches for the truth it has. However from my own experience I will not allow occultbpractice in my home or before any child of mine. There were cases I saw in India that are beyond my help or explanation as a psychiatrist. So I guess yes, the practice of occult is a thing I fear for. I am believing more in witchcraft then witches may be. The difference of thought is I do not believe the witch has power over what crosses the threshold of the door they open. This is standard belief of Christian so it is not a surprise the husband will not accept the practice in his house, even to the cost of his marriage. 

Post # 49
Member
856 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: City, State

DrCrazyCat :  

I agree here. Your husband can’t tell you what to believe, but if he is only interested in an xyz marriage or not having animist/pagan/Wiccan/etc influences in his home… and if you knew this going into the relationship, why wouldn’t he have a strong reaction?

For some people, shared  faith is the foundation of a marriage. Even their vows are predicated upon that faith. no shared faith, no marriage. 

It’s only fair for him to tell you if that’s what you’re dealing with

Post # 50
Member
9671 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

mrsnyctola :  You’ve had quite an interesting life!

Post # 51
Member
330 posts
Helper bee

slomotion :  I am glad you say so. In my family it is considered I waste my youth and also to blame i led my sister away. However I had money and needed to find a point for work other then food and roof. I find it so in my mind it is not a waste. It is hard because may be the poster seeks this as well with witchcraft.  

Post # 52
Member
7918 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Religion is a huge deal to people. For a lot of people, it is super important to share the same faith with their spouse. One of the reasons why he married you was likely that you had the same faith. I can see why he’d be so upset about your conversion to this other religion, which sounds like it’s a polar opposite to what you originally believed. 

I’m not saying you’re wrong either. You have the right to believe what you want. But it may no longer mesh with your husband anymore. You have to decide which is more important to you just like he does. How much have you delved into this new religion? Is it worth ending your marriage for it? Only you know that. 

Post # 53
Member
4001 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

So I can see how religion or the lack there of could be a deal breaker for some people.

Personally I am not religious and I have grown to learn and be open to many more religions/practices the older I’ve gotten and I sincerely appreciate the differences in people’s beliefs and I find so many to be very interesting. I’ve learned a lot about the Church of Satan and their beliefs and I am fascinated by Lillith.

I just think some religions/practices are given a negative view for no reason other than the media or other mainstream religions perpetuating false ideas.

OP, I would never hold back from something I truly wanted to do or try just because my husband couldn’t get behind me deciding to explore something different in my life. Then again, I know my Darling Husband would never do that to me and never give an ultimatum to me like that, and I would never do the same to him. 

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