(Closed) In FInancial Trouble

posted 5 years ago in Money
Post # 3
11272 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

@Laurenplusalex:  have you considered getting some counselling?  financial counselling is wise but also therapy to dig a bit deeper as to why you need to go shopping all of the time.  is there something missing in your life right now?  have you had a recent loss?  are you taking medication for bipolar?

Post # 4
9917 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

Is there anything you can return, right now?  Or at least tomorrow?  Is there anything you own that you can sell?  Can you get a second job to help pay down the debt?


I was really floundering with my debts this year, and I’ve gotten two extra jobs and renegotiated my student loans to help myself get out of the hole.  

Post # 6
662 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

Do you have a counselor or therapist you can talk to? Many people that are bipolar take meds, but if you’d like to stay med free behavioral therapy could work. This is an important issue for you to address early and head on. A very close family member is also bipolar and has sporadic spending issues which have brought her and her husband to financial ruin. You don’t want to be more than $1M in the hole with your marriage in tatters because of this. Perhaps start with getting help privately, but eventually you need to talk to your SO about your spending issues and any debt you have. Wedding planning (with lots of potential impulse purchases so widely available) may be especially challenging for you so I really think it would be best if your SO is informed and can help keep things on track.

Post # 7
8042 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

I think you need to have a talk with your fiance about this, and perhaps have him hold onto your credit card for a while until you get this under control.

Counseling is probably wise as well, as PP have suggested.

I don’t know too much about mental illness, but I wouldn’t be too quick to say that this is why you’re spending. I was never diagnosed with any mental illness and I still spent stupidly in my early 20s. I finally realized that it was not making me happy, and made progress on paying it off. I’ve been debt free for a few years now, and I have my SO manage the money in our relationship since I will always be more of a spender than a saver. I am now good at sticking to a budget. Try and think about what goals you’re screwing up because of your spending. It won’t be easy, but you can get a handle on this. When you have the urge to spend, do something else. Bake a cake. Go for a walk. Do your nails. Anything to not spend.. but I think that if you make your Fiance aware of this, he can help you and it’ll be half the battle.

Post # 11
9917 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Laurenplusalex:  What are you planning to go to school for?  I assume you’ve already enrolled and everything, since it’s basically the fall semester in like three weeks!  UGH.

Post # 13
750 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

It sounds to me like you should start discussing this with your therapist. I’m confident that your bipolar disorder has at least something to do with this (diminished self control during upswings, for example), although I know we’ve all made less than wise decisions with money. You’re doing the right thing by talking to your fiance about it. If you are close with your parents, I would talk to them about it, too. The more people who know about it, the more likely you are to stay accountable. 

How much debt do you have? How many cards? Can you afford to make the minimum payments? Often if you call them and say you recognize you have a problem, and you want to stop spending and start paying the cards off, they’re able to give you a reduced interest rate, which will jump back up if you start using them again. Are you using one card to pay the other? Cards to pay for day to day expenses? Or just charging more than you should on “extras”? If it’s really bad, talking to a non profit credit counselor is a wise first step, or a lawyer for bancruptcy. If it’s just poor impulse control, and debt you can make your way out of, this may be something for you to discuss with your therapist/psychiatrist for new behavioral therapies and adjusting meds.

Post # 16
1284 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@Laurenplusalex:  Enroll in grad school with minimal credit hours if your tuition includes free counseling (mine does). Enroll in a Dave Ramsey Financial Peace University class. Take a deep breath. Many people are in debt but you don’t want to live this way forever and you don’t have to!

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