In law christmas traditions

posted 9 months ago in Holidays
Post # 16
647 posts
Busy bee

I think it’s unfair to call you “extremely selfish.” It sounds like you are slowly incorporating totally normal traditions, such as a breakfast on Christmas Day (people have to eat anyway, and you are taking on the work) and thinking about doing a movie marathon or a Christmas walk. Both are things that could make you feel more comfortable/happy at the holiday, and are intrisically optional for everyone, especially the people that actually live in the home who could chose to read in their room or do any other number of things.

Part of blending families is accepting what others bring to the table. It sounds like you accept their Christmas Eve-focused holiday, but wish for a little more cheer on actual Christmas Day. It’s not as though you are trying to change when they do things, but add something new.

I’m lucky that my new husband and I are able to see both sides over the holiday (his family is flexible and we get together on the Saturday before Christmas) to have his quiet and reserved family time and then my crazy, chaotic, loud family time. I have friends and cousins who have to alternate years and are always really sad when they hear what their own family is up to, so I don’t think you are selfish at all or alone in this thought. Hope you are able to come up with a compromise that makes everyone happy and feel heard.

Post # 17
4877 posts
Honey bee

I don’t see anything wrong with adding some Christmas music and breakfast to the routine. I actually think it was quite rude for Father-In-Law to turn the news on so loud while you had Christmas music on. And Christmas music isn’t really my thing but I do like it at times. So I’m not coming from the place of I like it do should he. It’s basic respect. You’re new to the family so they can make some adjustments as well. Yikes. 

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