(Closed) Who's Wedding is this???

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
286 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

You can have your wedding, especially since they aren’t contributing financially. Your Fiance could tell your Future Mother-In-Law that you both decided you want a private ceremony (or whatever you choose) and if she wants to throw a party after she is welcome to do so on her own.


Post # 4
1139 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

How about destination wedding, immediate family only. You would avoid upsetting parents anyway 🙂

Post # 5
1091 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Yeah if they’re not contributing financially I don’t see why they get any say in things. Have the wedding you want and tell your Future Mother-In-Law that if she wants to throw an at-home party to celebrate she’s more than welcome to do so, but you’re not interested in planning it.  They’ll get over it.

Post # 7
629 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I say private destination wedding and then a celebration for whomever they goose when you come home. Don’t give up that intimate, private dream for YOU.

Most resorts offer a videographer so they can front the money for a video if they choose and show it at the celebration.

Best of both worlds.

Post # 8
2874 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

View original reply
@ladybugg10:  i dont think its fair to exclude his family simply because you dont want yours there. how does he feel about it?!

otherwise a Destination Wedding could be a great solution. if hes willing, you could elope just the two of you. if hes close to his family however he might find that very hard, and regret not spending the day with them

Post # 9
9 posts
  • Wedding: November 2012

@ladybugg10:  I hear you.  It’s hard to balance the wishes of two families.  I’m going to second what the other Bees have said  — have the destination wedding you and your Fiance can afford and invite both families to attend AND talk to FI’s family about whether they would be willing to host a reception after the Destination Wedding, which will be the party they want.

It won’t be an easy discussion, but make sure that you are clear that 1) you are trying to compromise with them by having a Destination Wedding and then a party-like reception afterwards (emphasize the reception is for THEM and their friends); and 2) that you can only afford to be pay for the Destination Wedding — if they want to have the reception as per their wishes, then they should be willing to chip in for that part.  They nvite just their friends if they are hosting.

Good luck planning!


Post # 10
918 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

There is a part of your situation that is the same as mine: I am not close to my family and they won’t be invitied to my wedding.  However,  I will not be stopping Fiance from inviting his family – I’m not punishing him (or them) because I don’t have a good relationship with mine. 

Ideally, I only want FI’s parents there.  As we probably won’t be getting married for at least a couple of years, I’m waiting til the nearer the time to make an definite plans. 

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