Wow these people have no idea what a saint they are getting for a daughter-in-law…..you really are acting the bigger party.
Traditionally the wedding invitation lists the individual or individuals paying for the wedding as doing the inviting. Your grandparents really do sound like such lovely people and should be recognized for they generous part in your big day. This is not a negative against anyone, but simply indicating to your guests are there due to the kindess of your grandparents.
Your in-laws really would benefit from a book on etiquette….. It’s your wedding and no one is obligated to pay for it…..but playing the old bride’s family card, along with being ignorant is also unreasonable considering the changes being considered at their request.
Just for the record the groom and/or family traditionally are responsible for
1. planning and hosting the rehearsal dinner (this includes taking care of the check)
2. marriage license and officiant’s fee,
3. bride’s bouquet and going-away corsage, boutonnieres for men, and corsages for mothers and grandmothers
4. complete honeymoon
You really do need to remember that this special day belongs to you and your groom. That said you need to be firm when you indicate your wishes. Unfortunately has come down to you and your groom deciding just what you can be flexible on and what you cant and as politely as possible letting all know what those things are.
Perhaps your groom can talk to his brother one-on-one and let him know how he is feeling about things without involving your Future Mother-In-Law. Avoiding this woman as much as possible would probably go a long way to soothing raw nerves, especiall for your groom. That poor man is between a rock and a hard place…….
Your FSIL could also benefit from that etiquette book too. Again you have been a saint here as well. I guess she missed the part about agreeing to be part of the wedding party means she is there to support the bride. Unless she’s under the age of 5, she should be ashamed of her behavior….mayeb we can spawn a new reality show maidzilla. Sorry couldnt resist.
Again you are being forced into deciding what elements you can compromise on and what you cant. If your Future Sister-In-Law can not see herself working within YOUR vision for YOUR wedding then firmly explain to her that you are trying to compromise and if she would like do dress differently than the bridal party you can accomodate her by having her perform a special reading during the ceremony instead. Firmly give her the choice of choosing between conforming to the standards you have set for your bridal party or taking on a different role. In this way she can dress the way she wants and not adversly impact your eintire wedding party.
With all the unnecessary stress forced upon you and your groom, dont forget to take special time out for each other. I bet he is feeling pretty bad about how his family is acting. Dont forget to remind him that he’s the love of your life and you wouldnt have it any other way…….Good Luck Guys on your special day.
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