(Closed) In-laws AND DH are sooo ridiculous!!- RANT!

posted 5 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
1778 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

That’s beyond not cool!  Hubby would be in trouble with me lol!

Post # 4
2250 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

@graygodess20:  Ooooh lady, I feel your pain. Fiance has been known to pull a stunt or two like this, and I know he doesn’t mean to be a giant pain in my ass, he just doesn’t think as far ahead as I do. It makes. Me. Crazy.

As far as unexpected drop-ins from the in-laws…. *shudder*.

Post # 5
1251 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@graygodess20:  My Future In-Laws loooove to do things last minute and pull crap on us like this!

Oh, we have a wedding we have known about for months and we want to get changed at your place (they had to drive in from their rural home) for it in 30 minutes during business hours when you are both at work.

Oh, we are at a footy game in town that, let’s do dinner/breakfast right now. You mean you have plans already or are at the gym? Don’t you love your mother?

Oh, its 10pm at night we are driving back from holidays and want to spend the night at your house to break up the journey with our 2 children even though you don’t have a spare room at the moment and it’s a weeknight. Arghhh. They are all nice people but in my family we plan ahead and don’t spring this stuff on people!

Post # 6
1407 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Didn’t you just have a miscarriage?  That’s really insensitive of everyone involved.

Post # 7
1797 posts
Buzzing bee

I’d be extremely upset if my SO did things like this. I usually keep our apartment as clean as possible, but from time to time it is messier than I would like anyone to see. I don’t like anyone to just drop in even family members, so this would be so annoying to me. Our parents usually give us a day or so in advance to get ready for them coming over, and that’s even when we aren’t going to make them dinner. I woulk talk to your Darling Husband about this, and tell him that you need more time to get ready for guests. If he doesn’t listen to your request maybe try inviting someone over last minute when he is the only one home to prepare for their arrival, and see how he feels about that.

Post # 8
731 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

@graygodess20:  Oh ya this is alllll the time…. I was just told today at 2:50 that we needed to pick his little sister up from school at 3:10.        

“Oh and you don’t mind picking her up for the next couple days right,” fiance says at 8:00 pm…………………..Of course not dear.


I don’t understand people like this. 

Post # 9
1278 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@graygodess20:  I feel u but thats the story of MY life! Hahaha. In laws live about an hour away so they are always in town. Never call when they r heading to town, just when they are hre and wanna meet for lunch dinner or a movie. SIL and Brother-In-Law are always here. Always. But I enjoy the company and adore my in-laws so its not awful. But I always feel bad when we have to tell them we cant meet cause we have plans. 

Post # 10
3281 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

Ohhh yeah, this has gotten Darling Husband in trouble a time or two. In fact, just a month or two ago he had a friend from out of town show up and ask to spend the night–the friend hadn’t made plans with ANYONE, just figured he’d find a place to stay once he got there (aka assumed he would stay with us). Well, I had to work that night teaching an online class from home, had to do grad school work, and was in the middle of packing for a trip we were leaving on in two days–so I said NOPE to the friend, and was irritated at Darling Husband for making me into the bad guy! Lol, so I totally feel you, girl.

Post # 12
9681 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@Schatzie821:  +1. In the first situation, my husband would be in trouble for not setting boundaries with his family about popping in. If it wasn’t convenient for me, I simply would say so and tell them to schedule a time that was MUTUALLY convenient. I don’t care if you’re “in the area” if I’m busy. 

In the second situation, I’d also blame my husband because he can’t offer out our home as a flop house without discussing it with me. I don’t like people staying in my house and it’s only in absolute emergencies or situations with extreme advance notice where I allow it. 

OP, I’d have a chat with your husband. It’s not his family’s fault. 

Post # 13
2433 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

UGH, unexpected guests are such a hassle. 

I second the others who said this definitely warrants a discussion. He might not be aware of how important it is to you for advance notice, to make sure the house isn’t in shambles, that your schedule is free, etc.

Post # 15
2959 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I have had my brother and various friends crash here at a moments notice and sometimes even a couple of people. So sometimes the spare bedroom AND the couch are occupied. I dont know if it is because I pay the mortgage, most of the immediate needs of the guests are taken care of by me or what, but luckily FH takes it in stride. And of course this is only a few times per year. I do say something like – so and so are stopping over and are probably going to stay the night. would that be a problem for some reason? But my home has always ben open to family and friends, and FH knows that. Maybe your Darling Husband grew up with the same open door policy?

Post # 16
2474 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@graygodess20:  I recently in the most civil way possible reamed my Darling Husband out with a similar situation…. he always invites his parents over and tells me at the last min…well…. 1st week of Nov we finally got our wedding pics… 3 weeks later (we were busy) they wanted to come see them so he told me on the friday they were gonna come for dinner on sunday… ok great (well not “great” lol am i right ladies… but you kwo what I mean…48 hours notice)

So long story short we normally get together for dinner around 5…. so sat was busy and I had planned on doing a whole bunch of stuff during the day sunday, cleaning up etc… and Im up and puttering around the house… Darling Husband is on the phone and tells me he’s going out for brunch with his buddies (its about 11:00+)….oh and BY THE WAY… my parents are coming at like 2!

WHAT?….WHY???… “oh I dunno i said come early….”ah well that really sucks cause I have shit to do and now your gonna take off?? are you kidding?”

he left……… Im running around like a chicken with my head cut off, and barley get finished and prepped for 2…I text Darling Husband and say where the eff are you? and guess what….3pm rolls around….no Darling Husband no IL’s….. Darling Husband rolls in around 345….and IL’s dont end up coming until 5…. I kept my cool even though my entire day was ruined.

Next day I emailed him and said… darling, I love you but if you ever do that to me again I’m going to be really angry. I was so pissed at you yesterday…and I think we need to implement some house rules for the new place so this doesnt happen again. (we moved in Dec)

a) Im not happy for you leaving and leaving ME to do everything??, b) tell me as your walking out they’re coming in just over 2 hours…c) they didnt even show up, nor were you even home…so I sat and waited, and wasted my entire day. If you want me to host your parents and do the cooking and organizing, I need it to be fair….and this is not fair. You want to invite them over you ask me before inviting them, and if THEY request to come over to our house…..(they talk a lot on the phone)… you say “I’ll double check with shanbp and make sure we have nothing planned and the time works, i’ll let you know”

If these rules arnt followed you will simply be in charge of figuring out dinner/cooking it and all the hosting duties that come with it… and I will also have veto power to say no and you will have to call them back. I think this is only fair. Deal?

he said yes….we’ll see how it works…..we have our first possible incident this weekend. I will update if he fails LOL



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