(Closed) In laws are confusing

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 3
3277 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Yeah it’s kind of odd, but I think as long as they are on time for the pictures and not looking like they just went on an all day hike then I wouldn’t say anything. Just make sure they know exactly when and where the pictures are and that you won’t wait for them. Sorry you’re having to deal with this!

Post # 5
1375 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

If they would take a call from you saying you are concerned your FH won’t have them there with him that morning, and that you know he would appreciate having them there with him pre-wedding, I say do it. I know my FH’s family is excited for our wedding, but they are sometimes wierdly distant about it. I’ve figured out its that they don’t want to step on my toes. With his sister’s wedding its different since traditionally the woman’s family plans and hosts. So just telling them how much their involvement would mean to your FH may do the trick, as long as they will take it as you mean it.

Post # 6
1772 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Do you have a schedule for the day?  If not, work one out.  If what they’re doing doesn’t conflict with what they should be doing in the schedule, get over it.  As soon as you can, discuss the schedule with them (or better yet, have Fiance do it) and give it to them in hard copy/by email so they have it and know when they’ll need to be doing what.  Any free time they have is not really your concern- so don’t sweat it.

Post # 7
11234 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

@Feist:  Ahhh, same here. I always felt like Mother-In-Law was distant/not excited about our wedding, but it was because a) she gets like that sometimes, and b) she didn’t want to step on any toes. Not that I wanted opinions anyway (except on flowers), but enthusiasm would have been nice. I agree that OP should call them and let them know that FH really would like them there–or have him call and say, “Why are you going on a multi-hour trip the morning of my wedding? I really wanted you there with me.”

Post # 8
3572 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

It’s a bit odd, but I would seriously just let this one go. If your Fiance wants to say something, let him. But do not intervene on his behalf. It sounds like they just want to do something nearby given that they’re “already there” and have spent “tens of thousands of dollars” on the wedding. It could be that the unblance of invitations might have exacerbated this. Could be that they realized it takes men like 4 minutes to get ready for a wedding after showering so they feel like 1-2 hours of hang out time is plenty and they don’t need 6 hours or would be impeding your Fiance from getting his wedding morning tasks done. Who knows, in the end it doesn’t really matter *why* they’ve decided to do it – they have.

As long as they’re ready by 2pm then I think it’s ok. 11:00 is pretty early for a 2:00 pm start time. I mean, I can spend A LOT of time getting ready and even if I did my own hair I’d be done way before then, particularly if I was already showered and blow dried prior to 11. 

Also, you will be so busy that day you will not notice at all where they are.

Good luck! You’re so close! It will be here before you know it!

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