(Closed) In Laws asking to be in wedding. rude?

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 32
Member
2555 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@Sminthy:  well, you could have included your brother in some other way (a reading, for example) instead of making him leave a friend out

Post # 33
Member
804 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

It wouldn’t be so rude if you were closer to her, but for someone you barely know–even an in-law–to ask to be in your wedding party… I wouldn’t do it.

Post # 34
Member
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Yes I think its rude for people to ask, but in this case it was your Fi asking, and he has the right too.You should think of this as the “wedding party”, and she should be included simply becasue it sounds like it’s important to your Fi.

My brother is a groomman, I would have been upset if my Fi said no. If she lives out of state and isn’t close to you, there no reason why she should have ot go to all your prewedding events. Although I think it could be use as a good time to get to know her.

Anyways I think you should just suck it up and have in there, because her brother wants her to be in the wedding party.

Post # 35
Member
78 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

my bf’s sister got married before him and had her husband make her brother a groomsmen. so now that has set a precedent and it will be expected for her to be one of my bridesmaids. its really not a big deal to me, i welcome the opportunity to get to know my Future Sister-In-Law better 🙂

Post # 36
Member
12246 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

If you don’t add her, I think you’re going to alienate a LOT of your in-laws.

I don’t know my Future Sister-In-Law at ALL (I think we’ve met like 4 times!) but she’s in my bridal party!

Post # 37
Member
3081 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Like many of the others have said, your Fiance asked you to include his sister in the wedding party. I would just include her. A wedding is about bringing two familys together and it’s a nice gesture to include her. I asked my Fiance to include my brother in his wedding party, and I would have been upset if he had said no.

Post # 38
Member
418 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

Is this the hill you want to die on? Would it kill you to add ONE more bridesmaid just to make your Fiance happy?

Post # 39
Member
3419 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Manhattan Church Rec Center

I donr like that she had to ask her mom to ask your Fiance to ask you. How do you expect to me in MY bridal party and can’t even call me?! Tell your Fiance that being in the Bridal Party is important to u and the people involved should at least make an effort

Post # 40
Member
322 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

It would be ride if she asked, but your Fiance asked. I personally would have her, but it depends on how you think she will have the day go. I doubt she would make it anything less than perfect because all your friends will be there and she may feel left out.

 

There is no reason she can’t stand on your brothers side and be a groomsmaid

Post # 41
Member
3419 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Manhattan Church Rec Center

Or just say the Bridal Party is SET but you would be honored if she performed a reading

Post # 42
Member
110 posts
Blushing bee

The whole bridal party devided sexes thing drives me nuts. She is someone important to him and since it isn’t socially acceptable for her to wear a suit and stand with his guys (although my cousins “best man” was the grooms sister and wore a black dress, very cool) he is asking for her to stand logistically for ascetics on your side. 

She is now going to be part of your family and this seems like such a small thing to extend an olive branch and bring your two families together. Remember your wedding is about creating a new family out of two existing ones, not the party’s your having beforehand. Something really great could come out of this, hope things work out.

Post # 43
Member
3755 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

If it’s your fiance asking because he wants his sister to be included, then I would say let her be in it. My brother and Fi are not that close, but I’m very close with my bro and wanted him to be included. He wasn’t thrilled about it at first but decided to have him because it was important to me. I’m having both his sisters, but I also wanted to because I am closer with them. My brother’s fiance has asked both me and my sister to be bridesmaids for her. So yeah, I think it’s pretty common and I say go for it.

Post # 44
Member
363 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@MrsMath:  + 1, try to get her involved in other ways a reading is a great idea

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