(Closed) In-Laws on Mother's Day (venting)

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 3
1720 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I have an uncle just like this, he makes more than my mom and aunt combined (openly brags about it) but won’t pay for anything when he comes to town.  For example he bought my 7 year old cousin a 5 dollar shirt for his birthday and my grandma a single rose for her birthday, that is where the gifts end for this year.  And when we go to lunch he orders 3 beers, the biggest meal and then sits silently when the check comes around, not even offering to pay for himself.  It sucks when you feel taken advantage of but I think you got it figured vent and complain a little then move on, its what I do, every year when my own uncle ignores my sisiter and me on birthdays, christmas, graduations, engagements and any other life event that may come up.

Post # 4
3697 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I have family and family-in-law like that.  At some point you just have to start treating them like the children they are acting like.

Hey Brother-In-Law – your split of the check is $50.  If he wants to refuse to pay in front of everyone, cool, he looks like an ass and you’ve learned your lesson.  Next time “separate checks for us and him on his own, thank you so much!”  Then for gifts “$50 if you want to go in for a present for mom.”  If he doesn’t pay up, his name doesn’t go on the card.  I’ve played that game with my brother for enough years that now, even when he does pay up, everyone assumes that I’ve paid for it all. 🙂  “MrsJ and brother, right, thanks guys!”  *wink*

I have a Brother-In-Law who is the same way and although he’s gotten better it’s because I don’t let anyone take advantage of us anymore.  My husband finally saw what it was costing him just to be a nice guy and has set some boundaries. 

Post # 5
360 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

God, sounds like my fiance’s family. The only thing I can say to try and make you feel better…is that I’m sure a good portion of people noticed how awesome you were (not wacky Brother-In-Law I’m sure) and they appreciated your effort. I’m sure it got you brownie points, and people notice how different your fiance is now that you’re with him (in a good, helpful way!) since you said that the siblings were lazy.

That doesn’t change that they’re lazy and you’re now tired, I know. When this type of thing happens sometimes I fantasize about just sitting back and letting the trainwreck happen right before my eyes. I always step in though, I can’t help it. 

Post # 6
1339 posts
Bumble bee

Jeez what did they do before you came along?! You sound awesome! I would do everything possible to not get in this situation again though. I would assume no one else is going to do anything and not martyr yourself again. 

Post # 7
2297 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

i can’t believe her husband (FIL) didn’t do better. i mean – really!? my dad would DIE if someone else was cooking, serving and cleaning for my mother on mother’s day. and my mother would give him hell too – not because she’s a high maintenance person, but because he is an adult, it’s his house, and why on earth would a guest be cooking and cleaning for hours on end? 

my hat’s off to you – i literally would have ordered pizza. 

Post # 8
7673 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@KatieColorado:  “ MIL asks if we’ll be there next weekend to help her clean her house for  upcoming graduation festivities

The correct answer (though I don’t know if I’d be brave enough to say it) would be, “DH will be”. I’m guessing it’s his sister’s graduation party. He can help. I don’t see why you should. Actually I don’t see why anyone should help clean the house except the owners, but if they want extra help then they ask their son, not their daughter-in-law. You deserve next weekend off.

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