(Closed) In -Laws Procrastinating!!

posted 9 years ago in June 2010
Post # 3
408 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I think thats a foot in the right direction; just politey remind/indicate that the harbor dinner is an awesome and POPULAR idea so it would be advantageous to start the planning process now. Go ahead and do all the leg work for them since they don’t reside in the area….I’m sure they would appreciate it!

Post # 4
1363 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

Hey, if they’ll let you plan it, I say go ahead!  My Mother-In-Law really dropped the ball when her first son got married.  I did as much of the Rehearsal Dinner planning as I could, and it worked out much more smoothly.  NOthing is worse than when you have to change plans one month out!  Day of their Rehearsal Dinner, there was a fight about centerpieces.  Whew, it got ugly.

Post # 5
380 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Mrs2thedr I agree!! I am having the same issue.  I would get all the information, maybe even negotiate a price and send it to them. Tell them that you know how much planning it takes to do something like that in NYC and you thought you would help them out .. if they look at it that way they will think you are the best.

I found a place already and took all the guess work out of it and negotiated a price and told them the dates are booking up quickly so now they have to put down the deposit. They do not like to plan ahead and his mom always does stuff at the last minute. I couldn’t leave it up to them.

Post # 6
4001 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I’d definitely ask if they didn’t mind that you begin planning.  There’s no way you can just do something of that magnitude last minute.  They may have been waiting for you to do the planning all along (I say that because that’s what happened to me.  Apparently footing the bill meant they had no interest in what happens, they’ll just give the $).

Post # 7
573 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I would definitely gather information from various sources, get qoutes on things you like and then send it to her…Tell her you had some free time, and that you’d be happy to look into things further – – maybe even make up a date— “they told me we’d need to make a decision by….”

My Future In-Laws are also footing the bill for the rehearsal, but they were not moving as quickly as we’d like so Fiance and I actually put down the refundable deposit on a place we liked (when we spoke to the sales manager, she said our space was in danger of being rented) before they even visited to scout locations 3 weeks later.  Now, the sales manager has asked when we’d like to finalize details (menu, time, bar, etc) and Future Mother-In-Law asked “what is the date this needs to be done by?”  I thought about making up a date just to get it taken care of!!

Good Luck!  But, I say–grab the bulls by the horn and just run things by them.

Post # 8
57 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

You know I am in a similar situation because my future in-law’s are from out of state… My fiance and I visited a few restaurants in the neighborhood of our church narrowed it down to one, got sample menus and had some questions answered about the bar packages… now with all of that information (and the date reserved)… I am planning on handing it all over to them… (mainly because I feel a little weird making the final decisions when they are hosting…)

Just do the preliminary research and maybe come to them when it’s time to put down a deposit…

Post # 9
112 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Wow, it’s nice that they’re able to foot the bill and plan it! That’s so sweet! I’m not sure what we’d do in your situation–we’ve barely started planning the wedding, let along the rehearsal dinner! I’m thankful we’re not planning an NYC wedding or else we’re really be behind on the planning.  Yikes!

I hope your rehearsal dinner is as amazing as it sounds! Best Wishes!

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