In laws sharing wedding pix!

posted 2 years ago in Relationships
Post # 16
Member
13597 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

You’re overreacting. The wedding is over. These are lovely photos from the event that your inlaws wanted to share with their friends and family. Also — were you going to sit down with ALL of your guests to go through your album? Because if not, then maybe a bunch of people got to see them that otherwise would not have. And to that point, I’d be 100% uninterested in sitting with a newlywed couple pretending to be interested in looking at their wedding album, but I’d likely click through some photos I got in an email when I had the time.

Post # 17
Hostess
8549 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: Dorset, UK

bumblerox :  I totally get that they were yours to share but I would try and focus on how happy and proud he must have been to share them. Try and focus on the positive.

Post # 22
Member
4501 posts
Honey bee

So exactly how many wedding related moments do you get to have?  You get one wedding day.  Sitting down to have you walk them through a curated photo album is not an event anyone except you actually cares about.  Plus, you said they forwarded it to guests – none of this was brand new information to any of them.  They were all there, they saw it in real time.  Seeing the photos of an event they witnessed is not the grand event you are making it out to be.  There is nothing stopping you from still making your album.

Take this as a lesson learned that once you share something it is not yours to have as a tightly guarded secret anymore.  Once you share, you don’t get to guarantee the control of the flow of information anymore.  Even if you make people pinky swear or take a blood oath or pledge a sacrificial baby animal, things slip or people assume you didn’t mean they couldn’t share with trustworthy great aunt Mildred who would never gossip.  The next time you want to keep everything hidden until you are ready to tell everyone, actually keep it hidden.

Post # 23
Member
3546 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 29th, 2016

bumblerox :  I understand where you’re coming from. They’re YOUR photos and your in-laws shared them without thinking about how that might impact you. I think you have every right to feel how you feel about it, but what’s done is done. Try to understand that it most likely came from a place of excitement! You can still create an album of your favorites and share them yourself πŸ™‚ 

Post # 24
Member
1408 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

My SMIL announced our engagement before I did on facebook-now THAT was pretty annoying. At least they liked your pictures though, none of my ILs said a word about our pictures! I kind of understand where you are coming from but I’m sure they were just excited and I don’t think they were trying to be malicious. It’s not really a big deal though and I wouldn’t make it one.

Post # 25
Member
6633 posts
Bee Keeper

You can still pick your faves and post them on fb! 1/4 of your guests isn’t that bad. I got married 9/23 and we got our 40 pic preview within 2 days but still waiting for the full album πŸ™ our fams had the preview and are still hounding us for more!

Post # 26
Member
1587 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

bumblerox :  Did you tell them not to share the photos? I knew there was a chance my in laws would share our pictures before we were ready, so I when I shared a link of the photos, I specifically told them to hold off on printing or sharing any photos because our photographer was not done and we did not own the rights to them yet. 

I would have been upset in your situation, but maybe they didn’t even think about it and were just excited to share the photos. 

Post # 27
Member
6444 posts
Bee Keeper

I would have waited to show them until I was ready.  I’ve learned the hard way to never share something until you’re ready for the whole world to know.

Post # 28
Member
422 posts
Helper bee

I am a super private person, with all aspects of my life, so I would be annoyed too, I would also be annoyed she was sharing details of your wedding dress (if no one cares then why does she feel the need to share it?). Just remember this in the future since there is nothing you can do about it now. 

I also learned my lesson with my future in-laws, who shared our engagment on fb before we did, without our knowledge. I won’t be sharing any details I want to keep close-knit from now on.

 

Post # 29
Member
2923 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

I’m no longer on Facebook (so liberating!) but my husband’s family really is.  They were posting pictures that night, like while they were still at our wedding.

I was a bit annoyed, but they were really excited for us.  If I had sent them any pictues, I would have fully expected them to be plasted all over social media within the half hour.  So unless you gave them explicit instructions not to do so, I think this is a lesson learned.  Don’t share with anyone until you are ready to do so.

Post # 30
Member
55 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Annoying, but not a big deal. Don’t worry about it. Make the album and give them to his folks

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