Post # 16
You’re overreacting. The wedding is over. These are lovely photos from the event that your inlaws wanted to share with their friends and family. Also — were you going to sit down with ALL of your guests to go through your album? Because if not, then maybe a bunch of people got to see them that otherwise would not have. And to that point, I’d be 100% uninterested in sitting with a newlywed couple pretending to be interested in looking at their wedding album, but I’d likely click through some photos I got in an email when I had the time.
Post # 17
bumblerox : I totally get that they were yours to share but I would try and focus on how happy and proud he must have been to share them. Try and focus on the positive.
Post # 18
Thanks for the replies!
just to clarify – no I wasn’t going to sit down and show people the photos…I think that’s been misinterpreted. But what I was going to do was take some time to go through them and make an electronic album of a handful of the best ones and email them/upload them to Facebook. There are lots of nice ones of friends and their kids so wanted to share them. We didn’t have any posed photos so it’s not like they are all of me and my husband!
When I say there were ones that were inappropriate to be shared it was more that I don’t mind my parents in law seeing pictures of us getting dressed, but I don’t particularly want Pervy Uncle Pete and the rest of the world to see them!
It was really just that I would rather have control over the ones we shared rather than having the in laws do it for us, and they sent the email to roughly a quarter of our guests.
Understand that they were doing it because they wanted to share as some of you said, so I guess it was coming from good intentions. As a couple of people said it’s just sometime to mention next time/tell them if we don’t want them to share.
Post # 19
jellybellynelly : yeah, I said I was looking forward to sitting down to make an album to share with people… as in to look through our photos and put the best ones together. I wasn’t going to sit down with individual guests to go through the photos! 😂
Post # 20
craigslistgirl : more that they were inappropriate to be shared with lots of people/people we don’t know well – they were fine to be shared with a couple of immediate family members… but yes next time we will be more specific about who things can be shared with! 👍🏻
Post # 21
JiminyCricket : hey, ah no – I wasn’t going to go through the pictures with guests! I was going to go through the pictures with my husband and we were going to put together a few that we wanted to share (which wouldn’t have been the ones the in-laws just shared). They are all electronic copies so would email/upload to Facebook the ones we wanted to share. I wouldn’t sit down and talk all our guests through a whole album! 😂
Post # 22
So exactly how many wedding related moments do you get to have? You get one wedding day. Sitting down to have you walk them through a curated photo album is not an event anyone except you actually cares about. Plus, you said they forwarded it to guests – none of this was brand new information to any of them. They were all there, they saw it in real time. Seeing the photos of an event they witnessed is not the grand event you are making it out to be. There is nothing stopping you from still making your album.
Take this as a lesson learned that once you share something it is not yours to have as a tightly guarded secret anymore. Once you share, you don’t get to guarantee the control of the flow of information anymore. Even if you make people pinky swear or take a blood oath or pledge a sacrificial baby animal, things slip or people assume you didn’t mean they couldn’t share with trustworthy great aunt Mildred who would never gossip. The next time you want to keep everything hidden until you are ready to tell everyone, actually keep it hidden.
Post # 23
- Wedding: April 29th, 2016
bumblerox : I understand where you’re coming from. They’re YOUR photos and your in-laws shared them without thinking about how that might impact you. I think you have every right to feel how you feel about it, but what’s done is done. Try to understand that it most likely came from a place of excitement! You can still create an album of your favorites and share them yourself 🙂
Post # 24
My SMIL announced our engagement before I did on facebook-now THAT was pretty annoying. At least they liked your pictures though, none of my ILs said a word about our pictures! I kind of understand where you are coming from but I’m sure they were just excited and I don’t think they were trying to be malicious. It’s not really a big deal though and I wouldn’t make it one.
Post # 25
You can still pick your faves and post them on fb! 1/4 of your guests isn’t that bad. I got married 9/23 and we got our 40 pic preview within 2 days but still waiting for the full album 🙁 our fams had the preview and are still hounding us for more!
Post # 26
bumblerox : Did you tell them not to share the photos? I knew there was a chance my in laws would share our pictures before we were ready, so I when I shared a link of the photos, I specifically told them to hold off on printing or sharing any photos because our photographer was not done and we did not own the rights to them yet.
I would have been upset in your situation, but maybe they didn’t even think about it and were just excited to share the photos.
Post # 27
I would have waited to show them until I was ready. I’ve learned the hard way to never share something until you’re ready for the whole world to know.
Post # 28
I am a super private person, with all aspects of my life, so I would be annoyed too, I would also be annoyed she was sharing details of your wedding dress (if no one cares then why does she feel the need to share it?). Just remember this in the future since there is nothing you can do about it now.
I also learned my lesson with my future in-laws, who shared our engagment on fb before we did, without our knowledge. I won’t be sharing any details I want to keep close-knit from now on.
Post # 29
I’m no longer on Facebook (so liberating!) but my husband’s family really is. They were posting pictures that night, like while they were still at our wedding.
I was a bit annoyed, but they were really excited for us. If I had sent them any pictues, I would have fully expected them to be plasted all over social media within the half hour. So unless you gave them explicit instructions not to do so, I think this is a lesson learned. Don’t share with anyone until you are ready to do so.
Post # 30
Annoying, but not a big deal. Don’t worry about it. Make the album and give them to his folks