My problems really only focus on my Mother-In-Law and my SILs (for clarity, my husband’s sister and my brother’s wife).
My mother-in-law is pushy, enjoys giving unsolicited advice ’round the clock, enjoys meddling, likes to debate and likes to start arguments. My first foray into this nonsense was when I unwittingly discovered what could have been part of my husband’s long-gone family tree and posted it to Facebook for some of his family to see, asking if the family had been in a particular area around 1800.
MIL’s brother-in-law, my FIL’s sister’s husband, responded and started telling me some stuff about the family. Apparently there’s some *Huge* drama on my FIL’s side of the family with several of his half-siblings, whom he hasn’t spoken to in years. But the Brother-In-Law wasn’t telling me anything that bad – just “there was this kid, he died in an auto accident.” So of course Mother-In-Law comes in like a raging bitch and starts cussing him out, telling him not to spread the family’s “business.” Keep in mind neither of these people are blood-related to my FIL’s side of the family.
I just deleted the whole thing, then had to face messages from both of them about how “sorry” they were, all the while insulting the other person. I couldn’t believe the immaturity and cattiness.
There have been numerous other times. Mother-In-Law turned the knife as I was waiting, telling me that I was “dating too long” to have a successful marriage. I tried going to the gym with her to bond, feeling it my duty as her future daughter-in-law, and quickly found we were polar opposites. I felt like she was constantly grilling me on ANYTHING I posted on Facebook or looking for holes in anything I had to say. “I saw that you’re thinking about moving for a job. What does THAT mean?” i.e., “You’re breaking up with my son, aren’t you?!”
Of course there were the times she invited my husband over behind my back, ostensibly to show him what I was ‘up to,’ something he was already aware of.
She also liked doling out that wonderful advice. As her daughter was TTC, I mentioned that I thought I was never going to be an aunt – that my brother would never have kids. She misheard and snapped back at me, “You need to be married at least a few years before you even think about having kids.” I was horrified, but so uncomfortable I didn’t want to correct her. I just shut my mouth and looked away. I couldn’t believe she thought she could tell *me* what to do with my life.
She’s done numerous other things like that. Honestly, my best method of dealing with her was basically to shield her from anything I say on Facebook – at all. I also don’t say anything personal – at all. I made the mistake of getting too close to this woman in the past, and it bit me in the ol’ rear end. We barely know each other now and I’m very happy with that. I have no intention of getting to know her better. As it is, I skip out on about half of all the get-togethers my husband has with her, citing work or some other lame excuse.
To which she then gets on Facebook and makes posts about how she had an outing with her son, and I didn’t come. She phrases it more nicely than that, but I get the message loud and clear. Bitch.
My husband’s sister is no cakewalk either. She’s a lot like her mother…the advice. She comes to my house, starts going through our fridge, our cupboards, and gives me friendly ‘advice’ on what I can do differently. I love telling the story of how she picked up garlic salt and told me her family doesn’t use it, as it’s “high in sodium” (yes, please laugh).
I had to stare at her with a straight face, which is possibly a qualifier for an Academy Award. Then she’s come in and said, “Oh no, you SHOULDN’T use this…my husband told me about x, which saves us money.” I’m not that cash-strapped that I need to overanalyze my every purchase, lady. Move on.
My husband used to be bad for this as well, but they also have to be very precise when they correct you. It’s okay if they aren’t precise – in fact you can tell they’re furious if you dare say anything to them – but if I were to say, “X is 5 miles away,” she would seriously respond, “Oh no, it’s 5.25 miles away.” x.x
Every opinion that comes out of her mouth begins with, “My husband…” It’s both funny and sad. Her husband is a jerk and I can’t stand him. But I’ve never seen a person who has *less* of a mind of her own.
I really just see that SIL as a little girl – one not very intelligent – who depends on everyone else to tell her what to do. She then goes to others like a bully and tries to play it off like they’re her ideas so she can feel ‘big.’ I think I give her a power trip – I’m a new wife and eventually going to be a new mother, whereas she’s a “seasoned professional.”