(Closed) In LDR between two countries and having problems with parents…

posted 7 years ago in Long Distance Relationships
  • poll: In a LDR, what is the hardest thing you have encountered?
    Miscommunication : (7 votes)
    21 %
    Not spending time together : (8 votes)
    24 %
    Not finding enough time to talk : (2 votes)
    6 %
    Arguements : (3 votes)
    9 %
    Parents : (3 votes)
    9 %
    Wedding plans : (2 votes)
    6 %
    Trust : (1 votes)
    3 %
    Not being able to see each other : (4 votes)
    12 %
    Not being sure of the wedding date : (4 votes)
    12 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    664 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2011

    I empathize with you. My Fiance and I are in different countries right now too. It’s been 4.5 months since we’ve seen each other, but thankfully we only have two more weeks before we’ll be together.

    I know for my parents it was really hard for them to accept that I wanted to get married and live in another country. They felt like they were losing me and it was the end of the world. It was really hard for them to give up what they thought life would look like (me living only 45 minutes from them instead of two flights and another country away). Once they had some time to adjust to it, they came around. They are supportive now. It just took them a while to get there. I hope your parents are the same way.

    As for advice, I would say you need to tread lightly. Asking them all the time is probably just reminding them of how much it hurts to “lose you”. As hard as it is, I would say try not to ask them about it. Let them bring it up in conversation when they are ready. You still have 6 months, so try to give them 1-2 months to tell you their answer. If Guatemala is anything like Haiti (where I live), you can plan a beautiful wedding in a very short time and this won’t be a problem.

    Post # 4
    Member
    389 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    Have you thought about having two weddings, or a reception in your hometown?

    That’s basically how FH and I will do it.. We were LD until I moved to Spain a couple of months ago. Parts of our family will come from Norway, Germany and America, but most of my relatives are in the Philippines and only two of them have the money to attend. It’s also important to me to have a Filipino ceremony with all the traditions, and it will be the first time FH meets most of my extended family. 

    As for your family supportig you.. do you know what exactly their fears are? Are you living on your own right now? My Mom and I are very close, although she lives in Norway and the Philippines, and I’ve lived in Germany and now in Spain. Of course it breaks her heart, but she understands it would break my heart if I wasn’t able to be with FH. She’s had tough relationships, and I know she’s only trying to look out for me, but I do everything I can to assure her that FH is perfect for me. 

    Does your family know your FH? I think sometimes it’s hard for other people to see LDRs as “real” relationships, because simply, they don’t see you together.. I hope everything works out great for you 🙂

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