Post # 1
I am in a LDR with my fiance and plan on getting married on May 19. It would be 19 months that we have been together since we started talking the 19 of October when I was 19 years old. It is very special and important to us that we get married this date. The problem is that the wedding would be in Guatemala where he lives and my family doesn’t think they can go. My parents are trying to book off the time but I doubt my siblings would be able to go or my grandma. Also, I’d really like for my parents to be there but my mom hasn’t given me a yes or no if she’s okay with May 19. So to me and my fiance we feel such a big insecurity about everything and it’s really hard on the both of us. We haven’t seen each other for 3 months and wouldn’t be able to see each other until May. We talk on Skype and e-mail but it’s just not the same. So it’s already hard enough with that but then my parents aren’t saying whether or not May is okay for them. Really, my mom just doesn’t want to lose me as her daughter and best friend thinking she’ll never see me again. But I know she needs to be able to let me go too. I miss my fiance so much and if the LD doesn’t cause enough problems, not knowing the day that we’re getting married is soooo hard. They just keep saying if it’s meant to be that everything will work out. But they also need to know that that doesn’t mean that you don’t do what you need to do to make that a reality. We’re basically waiting on them to say yes or no, but waiting makes us feel like we have no idea what’s going on and it’s frustrating for him and I thinking that we have no idea when we’ll be together. It makes everything seem like a dream and takes away the cuteness of our relationship at times. We don’t want to wait any longer and really May would be the best time for us. And it still gives me 6 months to be with my family here. I don’t know what to do or what to say to them. They have started opening up but everytime I ask if May 19 is okay then, she just says, “idk. I’ll let you know.” I asked her if she could tell me right now that if her boss says she can have the week off in May if it is a yes to May and she just said, “I’ll let you know.” It is sooooo hard. And we have been struggling with this for like 2 or so months now. They just don’t understand. Does anyone have any advice?
Post # 3
I empathize with you. My Fiance and I are in different countries right now too. It’s been 4.5 months since we’ve seen each other, but thankfully we only have two more weeks before we’ll be together.
I know for my parents it was really hard for them to accept that I wanted to get married and live in another country. They felt like they were losing me and it was the end of the world. It was really hard for them to give up what they thought life would look like (me living only 45 minutes from them instead of two flights and another country away). Once they had some time to adjust to it, they came around. They are supportive now. It just took them a while to get there. I hope your parents are the same way.
As for advice, I would say you need to tread lightly. Asking them all the time is probably just reminding them of how much it hurts to “lose you”. As hard as it is, I would say try not to ask them about it. Let them bring it up in conversation when they are ready. You still have 6 months, so try to give them 1-2 months to tell you their answer. If Guatemala is anything like Haiti (where I live), you can plan a beautiful wedding in a very short time and this won’t be a problem.
Post # 4
Have you thought about having two weddings, or a reception in your hometown?
That’s basically how FH and I will do it.. We were LD until I moved to Spain a couple of months ago. Parts of our family will come from Norway, Germany and America, but most of my relatives are in the Philippines and only two of them have the money to attend. It’s also important to me to have a Filipino ceremony with all the traditions, and it will be the first time FH meets most of my extended family.
As for your family supportig you.. do you know what exactly their fears are? Are you living on your own right now? My Mom and I are very close, although she lives in Norway and the Philippines, and I’ve lived in Germany and now in Spain. Of course it breaks her heart, but she understands it would break my heart if I wasn’t able to be with FH. She’s had tough relationships, and I know she’s only trying to look out for me, but I do everything I can to assure her that FH is perfect for me.
Does your family know your FH? I think sometimes it’s hard for other people to see LDRs as “real” relationships, because simply, they don’t see you together.. I hope everything works out great for you 🙂