(Closed) anyone else doing this instead of wedding favors

posted 5 years ago in Favors
  • poll: what are you doing for wedding favors
    traditional favors : (21 votes)
    44 %
    charitable donation : (13 votes)
    27 %
    no favors : (9 votes)
    19 %
    other : (5 votes)
    10 %
  • Post # 4
    979 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    You want to start your own charity?  Or just donate to a charity in memory of your niece?  I would just make a donation through PayPal or something and you can put a little sign on each table that says “In lieu of favors, we have made a donation to XYZ charity in honor of ‘Neice’s Name’ “

    Post # 6
    11357 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2009

    I am so sorry about the loss of your niece. That is terrible. 🙁

    I think that you and your FI making a donation in your niece’s name is a thoughtful and very beautiful idea. However, I would not connect this generous gift you are making in any way to your wedding favors (or your decision not to have them). I think that that the two are completely unrelated.

    In general, it is not a good idea to make a donation to any charity on behalf of your wedding guests, no matter how worthy the cause may be. 

    Post # 7
    1226 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I know someone who did this, although it wasn’t in anyone’S honor. I don’t think it’s a bad idea 🙂

    Post # 8
    6359 posts
    Bee Keeper

    I would recommend, when YOU are choosing the charity, the gifts you are giving up in lieu of donations are YOURs, not OTHER PEOPLE’s.

    I have a list of charities that I would love people to donate to instead of gifts to me, however, when they just choose THEIR favorite, I don’t consider that a GIFT to ME in any sense of the word. It’s just them donating to their favorite charity… I’m  not even in the equation… except possibly they expect me to now congratulate them on what they’ve done (even thank them, as in the case where a person donated to THEIR favorite charity as my Christmas gift). That’s distasteful to me.

    So I would say,

    – don’t do this instead of favors. Do this instead of something else, like flowers

    – skip the favors. They’re unnecessary. Just don’t tell people you’re donating to a charity of YOUR choice as THIER favor.

    Post # 9
    1832 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: January 2013

    I disagree with some of the bee’s that think a doantion to a charity is in bad taste. Regardless of the charity type, or person in financial need, its a very loving guesture, and I would be thrilled as a wedding guest of the idea. We are not having favors at our wedding, we decided to donate that money budgeted for the favors and give it to a family friend who is battling colon cancer, and her medical bills are in the $30k range, even with having medical coverage.

    I made donation cards using cardstock paper and will have a card at each place setting. This is the wording that I used. They are about the size a RSVP card.


    For Sharing This Special Day With Us.

    In Lieu Of Favors, We Have Donated To The P Family, Who Is In Attendance Tonight, Helping Bernadette P Continue Her Fight Against Colon Cancer.


    Joseph and Tracy C

    January 20, 2013

    Post # 10
    6359 posts
    Bee Keeper


    I seriously do have a list of about 10 charities I love to donate to and would appreciate gift doantions in my name to those instead of gifts. But choosing one’s own, not the “recipient’s” chosen charity, and donating to that, especially in one’s own name… how is this in any sense a “gift”?

    Post # 11
    1034 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    Didn’t read the PP’s so I hope I’m not repeating what someone else said! I’ve been to a wedding where a charitable donation was done instead of favors. On our plates at the reception hall was a beautifully designed piece of paper that stated something to the effect of: “In lieu of favors, a donation has been made to such and such charity on behalf of Mr & Mrs ____ and their guests.” We will be doing the same thing. I find favors to usually be something very generic like some kind of monogrammed glasses or something. We got a great deal on our reception space because my mom is involved with a charity that holds a lot of functions there, so we will be thanking them by giving back to their charity. I think its a lovely sentiment, especially if its a charity that is near and dear to the bride and groom. 

    Post # 12
    253 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    We donated to a charity that largely benefits a local Children’s Hospital in leiu of favors for our wedding. The charity was started by a couple we know well and is very sentimental to many people in my hometown, where the wedding was held (it’s in honor of the couple’s child who passed away). 

    On our programs, we made a simple note on the back. It had the logo for the charity, and said the following: 

    In honor of our guests and in lieu of traditional favors, a donation has been made to the _____ Foundation, benefitting ______ Children’s Hospital.

     “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion, and the God of all comfort, Who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.” – 2 Corinthians 1:3-4

    We then included the website for the foundation in case guests were interested in more information. I had several people comment that it was very touching, and no one seemed to miss traditional favors. I know that something like this is not in everyone’s taste, but it was one of my favorite things we did for our wedding. It was personal on several levels, and even more special now that I am applying to work at that same Children’s Hospital almost 3 years later 🙂


    Post # 13
    9581 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I understand the idea behind saying that a donation to your charity of choice instead of favors/gifts is inappropriate.  It’s like giving someone that Christmas bonus/gift and instead of a gift it is a donation in their name to a charity of your choosing.  It’s not exactly a gift.

    However for weddings, most people don’t care about favors so I imagine most people really wouldn’t care if you went ahead and did this.  I’d probably prefer this to something I’d end up throwing out (hey at least it benefits someone, even if it wasn’t the charity I would choose).

    Post # 14
    261 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I’d rather someone make a donation in my name than spend money on something I’m just going to throw away when I get home.  The only 2 favors I remember and liked were edible (chocolates and wine) but I’m sure the couples spent more on them then they should have!

    Post # 16
    103 posts
    Blushing bee

    I think that is a lovely idea and if I was a guest at your wedding I might well up but it would be through happiness ofcourse!


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