Post # 16
I actually like reading that the couple donated. As a guest I’d be like “oh, they skipped favors? Oh! No, they donated instead. That’s great, I’d much rather have them send the money to something worth while than give me useless stuff.”
I really don’t see it as a braggy thing
Post # 17
I think its a nice way to include your dads in the day. I would definitely not be offended by it or see it as the couple bragging….not sure why anyone would take it that way. I would find it very cool and a much better use of money than a favor. Follow your heart!
Post # 18
I would personally not make any mention of cancer or anything any relative died of at my wedding. Pictures would be fine, but I would totally side eye “cancer handouts”!
I didn’t do favors or a donation.
Post # 19
I agree with the majority and would skip announcing the donation with a sign and just make it on your own. I do think you can still have their photos and some type of “memoriam section” or something to highlight your fathers, but I dont think the sign/photo/whatever you decide to highlight them needs to include that you made a donation to a cancer charity.
Post # 20
I think it’s better to put photos of both fathers instead. And there’s no need to mention “in lieu of favors.” Although favors look great in pictures, people don’t care if they get favors. I think most favors go to waste.
Post # 21
It’s also never appropriate to direct your guests on what or whether to give a gift, even if it’s to charity in lieu of something tangible. Gifts are voluntary and at the total discretion of the giver. They shouldn’t be encouraged, suggested or even mentioned in any way.
Post # 22
molokoa: totally disagree, guests give a gift to celebrate the married couple…also given because the married couple has given you the gift of a large party.
favors are just a stupid add on that no one cares about. I dont think a single person would care or remember if they did not get a favor, so I seriously think this point is not valid.
If your guests say “what a bitch, she didn’t give us a crappy 3 dollar bottle opener or jar of candy and donated to cancer!!!!!” you hang out with some pathetic people.
I think this is a lovely idea.
Post # 23
weddingmaven: I don’t see a problem with suggesting guests to donate to a charity in lieu of gifts. You say gifts shouldn’t be mentioned, but what do you think a registry does?
Post # 24
meatbally: Again, traditional etiquette frowns on registries for just this reason. However, even in the eyes of more lenient etiquette guides, the difference is that a registry is never a direct request. They are meant to be considered a list of things the couple is collecting for the home. People actually have to actively search it out on their own.
Post # 25
You can do whatever you want, it’s your day! You don’t have to have favors, and if people are offended that you don’t have them, or by a card that states you made a donation in honor of a loved one, that’s pretty silly in my opinion. 🙂
Post # 26
KB87: Both my parents died of cancer before I got married. Instead of having flower decor and a bouquet, I took the money and used it towards a huge, gorgeous, and bright floral memorial along side my parents’ wedding picture. It was really beautiful and touching to everyone at my wedding that knew them.
I would suggest that you go ahead and donate as you wish, but not put a sign up at your wedding saying you did. Find another way to memorialize/tribute your loved ones at your wedding. No one will miss the favors.