In Memoriam – Social Media – POLL

posted 2 weeks ago in The Lounge
  • poll: Did my pregnant cousin post too early?
    No. Your cousin is grieving and hormonal. Four hours is plenty of time. She's fine. : (30 votes)
    63 %
    Yes. She should have waited, no matter how sad she is. : (13 votes)
    27 %
    Other - comment below! : (5 votes)
    10 %
  • Post # 2
    489 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2020 - Clarksville, VA

    While I don’t necessarily think it’s rude, I do agree that your cousin could have waited a little longer. I’ve akways posted a day or two later and that seems to be what I’ve seen from others as well.

    ashmar :  

    Post # 3
    116 posts
    Blushing bee

    In general I think we post too much on SM and memorial posts always read a bit attention seeking to me, but, in the world we live in, I don’t think her post is any more inappropriate than any other. Not everyone will receive a personal phone call about her passing, and FB is used to communicate a lot of that stuff anyways. 

    Post # 5
    233 posts
    Helper bee

    I’m a bit torn, i think it sounds like a sweet post but i agree that I hope all of the family knew first – I would be pretty hurt if I found out that a family member passed away on social media. 

    Post # 6
    4964 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2017

    Did everyone know about it? If someone in the family found out from the Facebook post, I would understand.

    But it sounds like she was legitamitely grieving so I wouldn’t be annoyed by that.

    Some people (my bil being one of them) post vague stuff just for Facebook thoughts and prayers, my bil gets a lot of eyerolls from me, but when his wife died, he got zero eye rolls from me for posting updates on Facebook

    It depends on the relationship with the person who passed and it depends on if a family member found out from the post instead of from other family.

    This would not have annoyed me as it sounds like she’s legitimately grieving and not attention seeking 

    Post # 7
    343 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2019

    If your family is anything like my huge family, 4 hours is plenty of time for everyone to have been told. In which case, totally fine, pregnancy hormones or no. If not everyone knew, it doesn’t matter if it is 4 hours or 24 hours, it’s too soon.

    Post # 9
    4964 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2017

    ashmar :  there’s nothing for you to feel bad about, why not reach out to her and let her know that you see how she’s struggling, that you’re here for her and love her etc

    Post # 11
    4964 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2017

    ashmar :  if you want, you can message her and say “I saw your post and it was beautiful, I’m sending you hugs”

    But I wouldn’t mention your cousins message, or mention that it was taken down. If you want her to know that you thought the post was beautiful, just tell her

    Post # 12
    6366 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2015

    ashmar :  It would’ve been more thoughtful to wait and make sure that everybody had the news, but honestly how was she going to find that out either? I don’t think it’s too terribly big a deal even if she could’ve waited. Sorry for your loss

    ETA: I refuse to allow anyone to blame their hormones for their decisions, btw. That drives me nuts. 

    Post # 14
    9485 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2016

    As a general rule, I don’t judge people for how they grieve. Everyone grieves differently and as long as they aren’t harming themselves or others, it’s not my place to say what’s okay and what’s not. And it doesn’t sound like this was how anyone close to your grandma found out.

    And I know people have varying opinions on social media but as someone who lives far away from family and friends (it’s just me and my husband here – with a few friends but no super close friends) online support can be incredibly helpful during a difficult time.

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