Post # 16
ashmar : my rule of thumb for major Facebook announcements is to make sure all of the VIPs get a personal notification. Did she know that everyone in the family already got the news? How would she have felt if she learned her grandmother died via facebook? She got a personal notification and she should allow plenty of time for others to get the same. When my sister was killed in a car accident pre-social media days we actually had a reporter at our door asking questions because the accident was going to be on the news and we had to stop them because we still hadn’t gotten in touch with my grandmother! How AWFUL it would be to hear that kind of news alone from an unrelated third party?!?!
Post # 17
LilliV : How do you know if everyone’s heard though, in a family of 80? I know all of our aunts and uncles knew within 20 minutes of her dying. But it’s impossible to tell about the cousins.
Just asking for my own future reference because I’m sure I’ll end up in this situation someday.
Post # 18
I would not post this kind of sentiment on social media at all, preferring these things to be far more private and personal. But I agree with your cousin. It shows no common sense to post publicly just four hours later. It would truly be awful to read this kind of news online before hearing it directly.
Post # 19
This is tough. I generally would say to let the dust settle first…at least a few days just so anyone who may be in a bit of shock can get their bearings. But beyond that it is really family-specific.
In my family we all knew that posting anything about our Nana after she passed would be seen as taboo…she was such a private woman during her life that to post of her death on SM just didn’t feel right.
Post # 20
ashmar : I would say give it at least 48 hours unless you are 100% certain that everyone has already been informed. I know that social media is an efficient way to spread news, but I think big news (good or bad!) should be shared in person or at least on the phone. Again thinking back to when my sister died we called certain people and asked them to share the news accordingly. Aunts and uncles were asked to call cousins. I asked my best friend to call the rest of our friend group. A favorite teacher was called and asked to tell the rest of the school staff, etc etc. News can spread fairly quickly but still in a personal manner.
Post # 21
Thanks all for the input! I had reached out to her and she said that the one cousin has talked to her but no one else had. She took it down, waited until her mom said it was fine to post things, and then she put it back up. Everyone else started posting around 5, so I think it’s safe now.