(Closed) In need for a wedding dress pep talk

posted 10 years ago in Dress
Post # 3
Member
297 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

They’re pressuring you because they really want to make a sale. My dress came in 3 months when I was told 6, so I wouldn’t worry too much. Maybe if it were February, then I’d start to worry, but I think that you have enough time.

My advice is take a break from dress shopping! It’s supposed to be fun, not strenuous. Maybe instead of looking at magazines, try looking at "real people’s" wedding photos to get an idea of what less couture/costume-y dresses look like. 

What is your personal "style"? (ie. how do you like to dress, display yourself, etc.) I would try to find a salon that isn’t a "bridal princess dress factory" and you might have more luck.

If worst comes to worst and you have to settle for a dress, are there any dress styles that flatter your figure? Or special features/necklines/waistlines/etc. that you particularily like? Choose a dress with these features, so at least you know that you’ll look great! 🙂 

Good luck with your search – an amazing dress for you is out there somewhere! 🙂

Post # 4
Member
132 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I totally know what you’re going through.  My wedding isn’t until October of next year, but I have spent almost 2 months looking at various wedding dresses, and I’ve been to at least 10 bridal salons in TWO cities!  At first, there wasn’t a single dress that gave me that "this is the one" feeling.  I thought it was something about me, but what I realized was that I restricted myself too much when I went looking for dresses. 

In my case, I had to be willing to do two things:

1.  Try on dresses in styles I wouldn’t normally think to do, sometimes at the suggestion of a bridal consultant(the good ones are really good about knowing what looks good on your body).

2.  Unfortunately, I discovered I have expensive taste in fabrics and materials.  

I ended up finding what I think will be "the dress" about $1500-2000 out of my original set price range, but I personally have come to terms with it and have decided that it was worth that money not to feel ugly or ordinary on my wedding day.

If you haven’t taken any of your friends or family with you, they can be very helpful and put things in perspective too.  

In the end, think outside the box.  Also, as silly as this may sound, is it the dresses, or is it how you feel about your own body and physical appearance?  I know that for a while, I kept staring at all the pictures I took of myself in dresses and feeling as thought I wasn’t fit enough, but after some stern talking to by my good friends, I am able to look at the pictures with a more objective eye.

My suggestions are this: try different types of styles, even ones you might not assume you’d like or look good in(you wouldn’t believe how many consultants I talked to who sold brides dresses they swore they would never like in terms of style).  Also, try different salons and be willing to be a little flexible with your budget if possible(especially if you think that it’s something that’s very important to you!).  If worse  comes to worse, try a different city!  Some of the dresses I tried on that I liked the most were actually in the nearby city(I live in Houston, and I went to Dallas because they had a particular designer I liked).

I guess(sorry for the long post!) my ultimate goal is to let you know that I know how you feel, and don’t worry, you’ll find it.  Just be patient and enjoy the process!

Post # 5
Member
24 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I just returned from another unsuccessful trip to a dress shop. I can totally identify with how you are feeling. I am also a June bride, and am hearing the same thing. It makes me feel like I need to settle, and I just don’t want to. One idea I am thinking of is trying to find a dress maker to make the dress. I  am sorry I don’t have much advice, since I am in the same boat, but I hope it helps you to know you are definitely not alone!

Post # 7
Member
960 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

My dress search hasn’t been as long as yours (and I have a lot more time than you), so this might not be much in the way of comforting, but I’m with you on the petite thing. I’m a street size 0-2 but tall-ish (5’5) so it’s hard for me to picture what a dress will actually look like. As some of the posters said before, think outside the box. J. Crew has some really cute, simple, summery dresses on it’s website. Also, what about a tea length dress? Maybe you’re not comfortable with the long gown feel?

Either way, you’re going to find a great dress, you’ll look beautiful on your wedding day, and you’re future husband will die when he sees whatever you choose to wear. Good luck and if you have success be sure to post again!

Post # 8
Member
49 posts
Newbee

There is way too much pressure put into "oh my god this is the dress and I feel it" I am getting hitched in April and I don’t like the dress that I have. I just figure – I wasn’t looking to find my husband and I found him. Maybe if I stop focusing on the dress it will turn up.

Post # 9
Member
1246 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I’m with gidget – I just wanted a dress that made me feel like a bride. I didn’t put any pressure on myself to find "the one." that being said, I certainly wonder if I might’ve found something better, but I’m happy with what I have and happy not to worry about it any more.

Post # 10
Member
96 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

OMG! I am going through this RIGHT NOW and everyone says I’m being crazy. I have been engaged since April and I’m getting married a year from yesterday. I have tried to rip out pages of dresses I like and I still have no idea what I want. I went dress shopping with my mom and was so spastic that I couldn’t try anything on and left more confused then when I got there. I can picture every little detail about the wedding down to the embroidered labels on the bridesmaids gifts but I can’t picture myself in THE dress. I’m glad I’m not alone. I’m sure we’ll all find something we love and when it feels right, buy it:)… no matter how long it takes!

Post # 11
Member
95 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

i’m with you on the petite thing as well. i’m a street size 0/00 and 5’1″. When trying on dresses they had to roll up the extra fabric and then clip it. i think bringing friends and family along made it a lot easier. Trying on so many dresses at once can get confusing. Also, i ended up getting a dress that was not what i had in mind at all. my advice would be to try on whatever the wedding consultants hand you. Also, if you like lace overlay check out Casablanca. Their dresses are very affordable. 😉 (they look much better in person than their online site so don’t discount it).

Post # 13
Member
8 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2009

I’m a little late to the party, but I’m a May bride, so I’m feeling your pain and finally just made a decision. 

This may sound strange, but maybe you’re just not a butterfly person?  My sister and I are the same way in that we just don’t get all worked up about these things, though we have definite opinions about what we like and can get excited, too.  I’ve finally picked a dress, and it’s completely different from the other two I thought were "the one" and was fighting wiht myself over.  

 Honestly, I’m not all fluttery over my dress, but the more I think about it the more I do love its simplicity…maybe you just need to pick one and THEN make yourself excited?

(and I tried on dresses in four cities, over 8 mos…ugh )

Post # 14
Member
12 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2006

Have you tried visiting Chinatown? I am also petite and did not like any of the dresses I saw in the bridal shops or boutiques. But when I went to a neighboring town that is populated largely by Chinese immigrants, I found a TON of bridal shops with WAY MORE VARIETY than any of the other vanilla shops I’d visited. PLUS, they were in my size!! I enjoyed much friendlier service from the people that helped me than at places like David’s. Prices were great, quality of dresses were MUCH better. Just a much more positive experience overall.

Good luck! 

Post # 15
Member
213 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I know it sounds scary and like they dont’ always know what they’re talking about or they’re not listening to you but let them pick the dresses for you and you’ll be surprised at how many you like then.  They know body shapes and what they have on the racks better than you do.  they’ll find something you love… At least most of the time. 

 

Also look into some bridesmaid dresses.  Depending on the style you want most come in whites/ivories/or really pale colors that i think are fun.  Jim Hjelm have a ton of beautiful ones….

Post # 16
Member
16 posts
Newbee

I second looking at J.Crew or bridesmaids dresses and ordering in white.  Even Ann Taylor celebrations has some simple white dresses…nordstroms…anything!

 I will say that the dress I picked was not something I had dreamed of and imagined–i simply tried it on and liked that it was simple and flattering.  Then I didn’t torture myself by continuously lookign at others–I had made my decision and moved on.  And I really do love it!  It’s come together nicely and the main reason I picked it was simply because it was the first one that I just felt happy in and still myself.  It wasn’t this tearful-oh-my-goodness-this-is-totally-it, but that’s just the type of person I am.  There’s just so many choices out there that I think it can be overwhelming.  Maybe pick out your top 3 factors/features (price, style features) to try and narrow down?  You’re going to look great no matter what and I’m sure your fiance will think so when he sees you!

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