(Closed) In need of a friend

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
4887 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I’m sorry you’re feeling this way and would imagine that every single one of us has felt like this at some point.  How awful about the betrayals too… that’s so hard to go through.

If you’re looking for advice, which you might not be, I’d suggest joining groups and classes ASAP!  I started belly dancing about 10 years ago and met so many amazing women of all kinds.  Later I started teaching the classes and my relationships got even deeper.  I haven’t danced for a couple years now but was thinking about getting back into it and trying Flamenco… which would certainly bring me to more women.  But be it dance, cooking, reading, martial arts, painting… doing something you love in a group setting is bound to introduce you to many people who share your interests.  Don’t be afraid to reach out and talk to these people either!  You never know who you’ll meet.

Post # 4
Member
9483 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

@Legallyblondiebride: Sigh.  I know exactly how you feel.  I deal with this myself.  I have cried and cried over this constantly.  I can’t comprehend why so many people 1) end up backstabbing me 2) just “disappear” 3) don’t like me in general.  I can’t say that I try to hard because I do like time to myself as well.

I thought I finally found a great best friend last year.  We did everything together.  I treated her son like he was my nephew.  I understood when she had call our outings short because her son was acting up.  She stopped talking ot me after I was a bit upset with her because she cancelled on me last minute for my engagement BBQ.  I told her I understood at the time, but still sad I couldn’t share a good time with her.  She ripped me apart and treated me like I was angry and saying hurtful things to her.

Everyone aways tells me I will make friends.  It’s never the case.  As you, I have aquaintances, but no real friends.  I only have Fiance and while he’s my best friend, I need females as well.  I always got along with guys a ton better, but it’s not ideal anymore.

I really wish I had some sound advice for you.  I want to cry for the both of us, but all I can do is wish you the absolute best.  

Post # 5
Member
336 posts
Helper bee

I feel ya. I watch movies like Bride Wars, or the episodes of Oprah when she would talk about Gail and how they’re best friends, and I get sad because I don’t have that. I had my son when I was pretty young and so when my friends were out having fun I was taking care of a newborn. I never caught up.

I just wish I had a group of friends like in How I Met Your Mother & F.R.I.E.N.D.S. that are like family. The ones I have come across have not been right, either. 

I guess finding the right best friend is like finding the right husband. 

Post # 6
Member
925 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Girls can suck sometimes. I have always found myself not fitting in with groups of girls. I have a few girls that I have been friends with for a long time who are my best friends, but even then I still didn’t do well with big groups of females. It is difficult, I feel your pain. I have had many times in my life when I have felt the same way as you–like nobody likes me and something is wrong with me. I can see why this would get to you but try not to let it. You have just had bad luck finding the right people. There are good people out there, just don’t try too hard to find them, that might only lead you to false friendships with people like you talked about. Join a group doing something you like–that will help you to find people with similar interests.

I feel like I have gone through this so many times, too, and I always wonder what I’m doing to make them not want to hang out anymore. Everyone says I’m a nice person–am I just not fun?? I will never know. Sometimes I think people just grow apart.

I’m giving you a virtual hug–just know you’re not alone! Nothing is wrong with you!

Post # 7
Member
9483 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

@Mary Green: I feel the exact same way when I watch How I Met You Mother.

Post # 10
Member
9483 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

@Legallyblondiebride: You can always PM me as well. =) 

Fiance always tells me that I don’t need anyone like that in my life either.  I tell him of course not. I want the good friends in my life.  They’re just… I don’t know.  The girls I associate with at work have their own lives outside of it.  I never feel like I can fit into anyone’s schedule.

Post # 11
Member
336 posts
Helper bee

@Rouquine: I have actually cried watching How I Met Your Mother. Especially when they show the snapshots during the intro. That is something I would only admit to online. 

@Legallyblondiebride: YES, Sex & the City is another one. & Desperate Housewives. You can also PM me anytime! 

Post # 13
Member
9483 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

@Mary Green: Ugh.  Same here.  I seriously want to cry just thinking about all of this.

@Legallyblondiebride: Yes, same here.  I try to get through the night and just go home.  It really, really sucks though. 

Post # 14
Member
1429 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

 

@Legallyblondiebride: I really have no advise because I am in the same boat as you and the other posters in this thread. 

I will send you (((hugs))) and a hope that in time we can all find that someone special. A best friend.

Post # 15
Member
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

I feel the same way. I had a few very close friends in high school, but then I ended up moving and we ended up drifting apart. I tried to reach back out to them, but we are in different places in our life. One of them actually told me I was crazy to be getting engaged so young (I’m twenty) and that I should leave my SO before he can pop the question to sleep around, drink, and “have fun.” There was a time that I couldn’t imagine these girls not being in my wedding, but now I’m not even sure if I want to invite them to the wedding at all.

I became really close to a woman recently, but now she is moving to Japan and isn’t planning on coming back. I am planning on keep in touch with her and she said that if she can afford it, she will fly back for my wedding, whenever that ends up being.

I constantly feel like I am missing a huge part of life by not having friends to confide in and go out with on a regular basis.

Post # 16
Member
336 posts
Helper bee

Too bad we all live so far away from each other. We could all go out for drinks sometime. Except I don’t drink. Poker night!

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