(Closed) In need of help!!! Who pays….

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
333 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Bridesmaids typically pay their own way unless it is otherwise specified by you (or your parents, whatever) that you are paying.  A bridesmaid shoud never assume her dress/shoes/makeup etc. is covered by the bride. 

Post # 4
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Bridesmaids do typically pay for their own dresses. I paid for my girls’ dresses b/c i felt it was the right thing to do. I’ve also heard if any of them are flying in you should buy their dresses. This isn’t typically followed though. If you can swing it or put $100 towards the dresses, it is greatly appreciated and mostly unexpected.

Any reason she’s expecting you to pay for it? is she broke?

Post # 5
Member
129 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010 - Stage 6 Steiner Studios

Agreed – bridesmaids pay for their dresses, hair, makeup. But you should not require them to have their hair and makeup professionally done unless you can help pay for it. If your friend has not been a bridesmaid before, she might not know she’s expected to pay for it.

Post # 6
Member
2342 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I bought my BMs attire (dress, shoes, & jewelry) only because they were paying their way to Aruba to stand by me.  I figured I’d need to help them somehow!  But, it’s typically them, useless you have the means to pay for it and only if your budget allows.

Post # 8
Member
6572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

oh no she should be paying for her own dress, unless you specifically told her otherwise.

Post # 9
Member
908 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

Yup, usually in the US, the BMs pay for their own dresses.  Is she not from here?

Post # 10
Member
1120 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

We paid for our Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses, but in other weddings I’ve been in that isn’t usually the case. I don’t think it should be expected by any of your BMs.

Post # 11
Member
2475 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

It’s most common for bridesmaids to pay for their own dresses, although not in every case.  Maybe if the dress you picked out is really expensive you can offer to pay for part of it.

Post # 12
Member
2856 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

Every wedding I have been a part of the bridesmaids have paid for their dresses, shoes and all their day-of services. If you are able to put some money towards helping them, that is pretty cool but if not, don’t feel guilty. Some people can do it and some can’t.

Post # 13
Member
3332 posts
Sugar bee

Like the others, I’ve always paid my own way as a Bridesmaid or Best Man.  Except for one wedding, where the bride graciously offered to pay for our dresses.  It was unexpected, but definitely not required.

Did your friend mention something about you paying for the dress? 

Post # 14
Member
154 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

like most people said, its traditional for BMs to pay their own way.  

Post # 14
Member
154 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

like most people said, its traditional for BMs to pay their own way.  

Post # 15
Member
7174 posts
Busy Beekeeper

What makes you think she’s expecting you to pay?

Maybe you could put together a cute newsletter for your BM’s updating them with fun things (like wedding planning, etc – and include a picture of the dress and the cost and talk about fittings, when you need payment, etc.) – that way – she’s perfectly clear about what’s expected from her.

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