In serious need of patience- what did you do while waiting?

posted 12 months ago in Engagement
Post # 2
Member
1887 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

I guess by just appreciating the simplicity of life now. Right now, all y’all have to worry about is enjoying each other’s company. No combined income stress, kid stress (assuming), and no getting under each other’s skin living together. You aren’t bored or in a rut or struggling to spice up the bedroom.

While marriage is wonderful in its own right… it isn’t easy and all fun and games. 

This is a great time to selfishly love and focus on each other. It’s the honeymoon period for a reason… don’t rush it!! All the stories are new and hope and trust are strong. Enjoy it!

Practically speaking, pick up some new hobbies and a good vibrator. I’m improving my calligraphy skills so I’ll be able to address my own envelopes one day soon, and improving my crochet skills. 

Post # 3
Member
212 posts
Helper bee

While I totally understand the feelings of “waiting”, my story is definitely very different from yours, as my bf and I have been together quite a while. However, I think the most important thing is having an honest conversation with him. You can’t bury your feelings for fear of making him uncomfortable because if you’re feeling this way, that’s not going to change by ignoring it. Like you said, it may impact your ability to enjoy your time with him now if you’re always focusing on an engagement which can become very stressful for both you and him. Every relationship is different but 6 months is still relatively new so I think it’s important to figure out if your timelines match up as far as when to expect taking the next step. Especially if you are already feeling ready for it. There’s nothing wrong with bringing these things up – you only have control over how you speak to him/approach it – not how he reacts. good luck!

Post # 4
Member
2917 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

gemchristine :  

He’s spoken about wanting to be with me a long time, and ” never letting me go” but we’ve never really brought up marriage, we have a number of friends that have mentioned it and he seems to get annoyed by it being brought up by other people, so I dont bring it up.

I don’t know if you’re “waiting” like the other bees on this site, your boyfriend doesn’t want to talk marriage with you… that’s not a great sign, you also don’t feel comfortable bringing it up to him, which is also not a great sign. Not trying to be harsh, or burst your bubble but 6 months is not long at all. I would try to pump the brakes if I were you.

Enjoy the beginning stages of your relationship and getting to know each other, because that’s generally what you’re doing at 6 months. 

Post # 9
Member
3389 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2021

Pump the brakes, lady! You’ve only been dating 6 months…

How to distract yourself? Just enjoy this new and exciting relationship for what it is…

Post # 10
Member
1450 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2021 - Kauai, HI

I’m wondering how old you both are?  

Post # 13
Member
500 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2017 - Orange County, CA

gemchristine :  The most concerning part of this post is when you say “we have a number of friends that have mentioned it and he seems to get annoyed by it being brought up by other people, so I dont bring it up.” What? If you are this anxious to talk to him, then you have a lot of work to do as a couple on communication skills.  Discussing marriage with someone you love should be joyful, not something to avoid because you’re afriad you’ll annoy him.

Post # 14
Member
1887 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

gemchristine :  I’m going to guess that you don’t have a whole lot of long term dating experience. 

I will also guess that most of your haste comes from feeling like life is on hold since you can’t sleep with or otherwise move the relationship too much further. 

Honestly, there isn’t much that will make waiting better other than to keep a wary eye open for red flags and pay attention. This is the time you have to change your mind if things are wrong. They may feel right, but keep looking and questioning so you have no regrets later. 

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