(Closed) In shock right now. (LONG)

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 47
Member
160 posts
Blushing bee

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@cassernova:  It sounds like he completely brushed you and your feelings off, no matter that he asked if you were doing okay.  He said that he didn’t want to talk about it, then told you goodnight, effectively ending all conversation.  This does not sound like someone who cares about your feelings.  You were together for a long time, and you deserve to hear a reason for the breakup.  Sorry to say this, but I honestly think that if he wanted to get back together with you, he would be a lot nicer, and would be more receptive to telling you what’s going on in his life/head.  

I ended things with my ex very similarly.  Granted, I told him in person that we were breaking up, but he kept texting me that he wanted closure, wanted to know what I was thinking, wanted a reason why.  And I’m ashamed to say (no matter how horrible our relationship was) that I eventually blocked him completely out of my life, because I knew that I didn’t want to get back together ever, and I found it so exhausting to deal with him constantly texting and emailing me for reasons why, when I was no longer emotionally invested in the relationship.  I was over him before we broke up, and I was tired of trying to explain myself, while he was still in the shocked, can’t get over it phase.  This kind of sounds like the situation you’re in now.  Obviously I don’t know the whole situation, but if I were you I would stop texting him and finding reasons to meet him, take a step back, and really look at the situation.  If he wants to get back with you, he knows how to contact you.  I know it feels like if you stop contacting him that he’ll forget about you, but if he really loves you he won’t, and he will be back.  And if he doesn’t come back, well it’s better to find that out now, so you can find your real prince charming.

Post # 48
Member
3695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

That was a sign that he didn’t know what else to text you.  Or that he wants to string you along enough to get a couple of booty calls in before he really cuts you out of his life. 

Really – get on with your life.  It will help you out regardless of whether you get back together or now.  No guy wants a girl who just sits around and texts him that she wants to talk.  I don’t want a guy like that!  In fact when I dumped my ex I explained myself, and left.  I didn’t tell him again, we were over.  You guys are over.

I know it’s hard to hear, but you’ve got to accept it.  Cry it out, eat some ice cream, go work out, whatever you have to do.  That jackass dumped you for no good reason.  Be pissed!  Don’t go crawling back!  Put his face on a dartboard, quit stalking him!

Post # 49
Member
1482 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

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@cassernova:  Sorry hun, he is NOT “being nice” by texting you goodnight. He is being a big, fat, cowardly jerk. And he is treating you like shit. What kind of person breaks up over text message after a 2 1/2 year relationship? 

You are young and you love him, so you are allowing him to treat you horribly. You may not believe it now, but you are better off without him. There is another guy out there who will love you reciprocally even when he’s overworked and stressed out. There is another guy who will respect you, and value you, and treat you far better than this guy ever did. 

I know you’re too hung up on your douchey ex right now to believe any of that, but try. It really is true — there is someone better out there for you. If the douchey ex ever does come back, have enough self respect to make him earn back your affections. The only thing you two have to “work out” is what a jerk he is, and how poorly he communicates, so don’t let him pretend any of this was your fault. Otherwise he’ll disrespect you and treat you like dirt again in the future. He has a butt-load of grovelling to do just to be worthy of your friendship, let alone anything else.

And in the meantime, stop ALL communications with him. You did not “need” your air compressor. Seriously, that was a pathetic excuse to text him — and he knew it. Each time you text him you’re telling him that he has all the power, and that you don’t value yourself. At the very least, both those things are pretty unattractive. So stop telling him that. Ignore him, go out, be fabulous (even if you’re only pretending), and show him what an idiot he has been. Hopefully, by the time he comes to his senses you will have realised that you can do 1000 times better than him.

Post # 50
Member
1482 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Oh yes, I totally second what the above poster said about booty calls. I bet you anything your ex will try for a booty call or two before finally cutting you out for good. Don’t let him do that to you.

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