(Closed) In the doghouse because I can't attend FSIL's bachelorette party. :(

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
3025 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

If she is actually angry at you for having LIFE happen during her bachelorette (not even her wedding), then I’m sorry but I don’t really have any advice b/c she is being ridiculous. 

THe “spotlight” stuff… I would like to think that people don’t act like that either, but what do I know.

Post # 3
46663 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

SnowInApril:  Don’t let her attitude make this your problem. It is her problem. You have communicated that you are sorry, but you are unable to attend.

If you like, you could send a bottle of wine or champagne to her hotel room with a “Wish I was there” message.

Post # 4
2958 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas

You have VERY valid reasons on why you cannot attend her party. She should have expected that some people wouldn’t be free to travel, anyway. If she is upset that is her problem, and she will have to get over it. I wouldn’t even mention it again.

Post # 5
662 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

IF she is upset with you for this reason, I would not acknowledge any subsequent snotty behavior related to the situation. Eventually, she’ll put on her big girl panties and get over it. To dignify such selfish tantrums ultimately encourages them.

On the other hand, she may just be stressed, busy, and/or bummed that you won’t be there (she’s allowed to feel a little sad about missing you) and this may be why she seems cool or withdrawn.

Post # 6
2783 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Why not set up a mini bachelorette night with you and her sister? Take her for dinner, or go for drinks, or something…show her that you DO want to celebrate, just can’t make that particular weekend.

And I would let go of all that stealing the spotlight stuff. I have never known anyone IRL that actually got mad about that kind of thing, and held on to it. 

Post # 8
330 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I wouldn’t fly halfway across the country for a bachelorette party, period. For any reason. I just wouldn’t.

At least you have a valid reason.

I say you’re fine, she’s crazy, she’ll get over it.

Post # 9
2445 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

You have totally valid reasons for not going, and I think she understands that (“it’s cool”) but is probably just a little disappointed. I feel like I would react the same way if it was one of my bridesmaids (not saying it’s right). But there’s not really much for her to say when you lay everything out like that. It may just take some time for her to get over it. If it’s been a few days, a week or two, I would just give her some space. She’ll probably come around.

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