(Closed) In the kitchen with MIL/FMIL… cooking styles

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
1664 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I guess this isn’t really a cooking style, but my Future In-Laws don’t use salt, sugar, or butter.  They use nutrasweet, margarine, and a lot of black pepper instead.  All dairy products are non-fat.  They also use Miracle Whip instead of regular mayo and drink Diet Coke.  My family ate all of these things, and didn’t keep soda in the house (in the rare event someone got soda it would be regular though).

Post # 4
Member
3671 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

@abbyful: I guess the main thing I can think of besides that she cooks a lot more is that she uses a LOT more butter, fat, salt, and pepper than I do.  I started to notice it when we first moved in together and my husband went to put a bunch of butter in our noodles to stop the water from boiling over because his mom always did that and he would add more butter than recipes called for on a regular basis.  And growing up, we never cooked with fat.  I think a big reason for this difference though is that although I grew up in the south, my mom was from Michigan while his mom is from Georgia so it’s more regional differences. 

Post # 5
Member
1498 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

In my family, we use real ingredients, and take the time to clean and prepare our own fresh vegetables, etc….Future Mother-In-Law uses tin-canned/steam-in-bag/all that save-time-on-preparation food that’s marketed to “busy moms”. She’s a great cook but her ingredients really bring her dishes down. (Fun fact: she also has a can of pure MSG in her spice cabinet.)

My family is also a big tasting/grazing family, and we are pretty blasé about whose fingers get in the food/who takes a sip from the spoon and then puts it back in the pot (as long as they’re clean and not sick, of course!). But with Future Mother-In-Law it’s all about “rules”: food safety rules, it’s rude to eat with your fingers rules, the food has to look nice on the table so don’t pick at it rules…

Post # 6
Member
1664 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@Kant

My Future In-Laws are like that too.  I sort of feel like an animal when I go to their house hehe.  For example, when my family gets pizza, we all just grab a plate and a few slices.  At my Future In-Laws, they set the table, get a pizza cutter and serve it.  Last week we had vegetable skewers as part of the dinner, and Future Mother-In-Law put out tongs.  Everything is very orderly and served with the proper utensils, no one touches anything with their hands, etc.

Post # 7
Member
2512 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

My Mother-In-Law loves cooking! She is always entertaining and it really seems like no stress with her.

For her birthday, she asked if I would make dinner for the party that she was having. So made some enchilladas, rice, beans and salad. We worked together in the kitchen and time flew by! We work really good together so it was nice and didn’t feel stressful at all.

When I work with my mom it is SO stressful because she is a neat freak.

Post # 7
Member
3671 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

@Kant: My Mother-In-Law actually did that once with one of our recipes.  We used grilled chicken that we shredded ourselves in the recipe.  She used canned chicken.  It tasted completely different. 

Post # 8
Member
2313 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

My Future Mother-In-Law tells NOBODY how she makes anything, but recently she realized that that means when she dies, nobody will know how to make her dishes, so for Thanksgiving last year, my Future Sister-In-Law and I wrote down how to make FMIL’s dishes while she was making them, though the “recipes” are hilariously vague. Her dressing is AMAZING but I have no idea if we can ever recreate it even with the “recipe” because it’s like “enough chicken so that it looks right” and “some hardboiled eggs but not too much.” Totally subjective instructions. 

I hate to cook in the kitchen with my own mom though because she seriously dirties up EVERY SINGLE DISH and instead of throwing trash like butter wrappers or cans in the trash, she just throws them in the sink, and then when you’re doing the dishes, you lift a plate and come upon a bunch of soggy garbage. OMG so annoying!

Post # 9
Member
3526 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

@Kant:

My ILs cook like that as well. Drives us crazy because it’s SO unhealthy. But over the years due to our influence they have gotten much better Honestly most times when we get together with his family we end up doing all the cooking and cleaning. So it’s not really an issue cooking IN the kitchen with her.

The other day she actually said frozen fish sticks have some nutritional value because it’s “fish”. Really??? Um. Noooo….of course I did not say that to her. 😀

My mom is another story! She’s a kitchen hog! Hahah. It’s a result of being a Chinese mom, the kitchen is her domain. We always kid that she is ALWAYS in the kitchen making something to feed us.

Post # 10
Member
1003 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

My family doesn’t really cook…we basically growing up recycled 7 meals every week. It got to the point where I would come home on a friday night and know we would be getting pizza. It was kind of insane. One of the reasons I moved out was because I was sick of eating the same bland meals.

Future In-Laws know how to cook. They both had to because FI’s allergies. Lots of ingrendient reading and tasting. They have so many little recipes. The thing I have noticed is that they both always have pop in the house which is something I didn’t have/don’t have. Fiance only buy pop if it is a special occasion.

Post # 11
Member
11325 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

I’ve never actually cooked with my Mother-In-Law or my step MIL! my step-MIL doesn’t cook. ever (i don’t think?). In all the times we’ve visited his dad we’ve eaten exactly one meal at his house, and it was made by his father… other than that they just east out all the time. 

And I’ve only been to my MIL’s house once because she lives pretty far away and generally comes here. I would imagine though that our cooking style is different because I don’t cook particularly healthfully (I don’t use lard or fry things…. but for example I have no problem cooking with olive oil and putting real cheese on turkey tacos vs. fat free)… whereas his mom is a total health nut. She’s a very strict calorie-counter so I imagine that she’d probably be really big on fat free ingredients and whatnot. But, I’ve also never eaten anything she’s made so I dunno lol. 

Post # 12
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

My Mother-In-Law is a lot more meticulous than I am in the kitchen and is totally set in her ways about what to make in the first place. It’s funny though because she will start out asking me what I’d like to make as a contribution to dinner (that I would be doing alone and adding to the other dishes) and I’ll say something, then she won’t really respond and before I know it I’m making the same dish she has made for 30 years. It’s funny actually, this has happened several times. Then she micromanages while I make it, but it’s almost an art because it doesn’t seem like she’s micromanaging, but she is.

It’s actually kind of fun and a bonding experience for us. I’m very inexperienced in the kitchen compared to her, so I appreciate the ‘micromanaging’. And she doesn’t have any daughters, so I’m sure she likes to finally have someone help her cook.

Post # 13
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

Oh and my SMIL wouldn’t ever dream of letting anyone help her cook! I love visiting DH’s Dad and Step Mom because they wait on us hand and foot the whole time we’re there. SMIL cooks to order practically and does all of the cleaning. We actually have to kind of wrestle her away from the dirty dishes sometimes because we feel so bad and lazy. But she’s totally the type who enjoys it and prefers doing it herself.

Post # 14
Member
572 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Well I cook and Mother-In-Law doesn’t.  More times than not, she will go out for every meal and never cooked when Darling Husband was growing up.  If she doesn’t go out, it’s something from the freezer that she throws in the microwave or oven.   In one house she bought, she wanted to rip the kitchen out and make it a closet or something.  No joke. 

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