(Closed) In the wake of an Ultimatum…

posted 4 years ago in Waiting
Post # 91
Member
3470 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA

samanthamae:  I hope it helps! If nothing else, it’ll be good to learn to articulate your feelings better to each other to avoid the feelings of frustration and resentment you’ve dealt with that led both to the ultimatum originally AND your feelings now.  

That’s the problem with ultimatums, they set a stopwatch in motion that requires you to act, without actually giving either off you the tools required to move anything forward.  

Post # 92
Member
63 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

 A friend of mine dated a guy for 10 years.  She felt like you, frustrated.  He made jokes about it though and when she eventually said this is what I want or I’m out… they broke up.   It was HARD for her.  But she dusted herself off and started dating not long after… ended up engaged in 6 months, married on their 1 year anniversary and pregnant 3 months later.  That was 6 years ago.  2 kids and still going strong.   Sometimes it’s for the best.  Though, your boyfriend is saying he does want to be with you, to which I say…

Why don’t you formally ask him to marry you?

Maybe he just is the kind of guy who will just always put stuff away until “later.”  Some people don’t like to let go of the fairytale “this is what I thought my engagement would be like” but that stuff doesn’t matter.  

Best of luck to you!

Post # 94
Member
5028 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2017

samanthamae:  Congratulations!

Post # 95
Member
359 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - Kaneohe, Hawaii

Congrats!!! Can’t wait to see pix of the ring. 

Post # 96
Member
2766 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Yay! Congrats Bee! I love the fact that you’re BOTH incredibly happy about it!

Post # 98
Member
1296 posts
Bumble bee

Yeah!  Congratulations!

Post # 99
Member
47 posts
Newbee

Yay! Congrats 🎉🎉🎉🎉

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