(Closed) In what order do you want the big things to happen in your life?

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Whick order do you prefer?

    Moving in, get engaged, get married. I would never have it any other way.

    Get engaged, get married, move in (on wedding day or after). I would never have it any other way.

    Get engaged, move in, get married. I would never have it any other way.

    Moving in, get engaged, get married. But I'm flexible.

    Get engaged, get married, move in (on wedding day or after). But I'm flexible.

    Get engaged, move in, get married. But I'm flexible.

    I don't care.

    I don't know.

    Other: share! :D

  • Post # 32
    2294 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I definitely wanted to live with my SO before getting engaged, however I wouldn’t have moved in with him had we not talked about marriage and stuff down the line.  For me, it happened just like I expected it to- moved in at about 1.5 years, got engaged at about 2.5 years, got married at about 3.5 years (apparently the month of September ended up being the magic month for us…).

    Post # 33
    12244 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I’m a fan of move in – get engaged – get married!

    Theoretically I think it would be amazing to move in together after the wedding, but I know how hard it is to get used to living with someone… So living together first was a practicality thing for me!

    Post # 35
    2171 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    This is how I expected things to go:

    move in – get engaged – marry

    This is how things actually went:

    decide to live together – finish university – choose a place to live together – get engaged while travelling – move in – marry!

    So we already knew we were moving in together and where before we got engaged, but we got engaged a couple of weeks before actually moving in there. He knew that’s how it would go but it was a total surprise for me! I loved it though because it made me feel more comfortable setting up home together and having a joint bank account knowing we were both in it for life.

    Post # 36
    3668 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    @HopefulCatlover:  We started dating, got engaged, got married, and then moved in together. I wouldn’t have had it any other way but figure others will do what is best for them. Me and DH had no issues when we moved in together but I think that boiled down to our relationship experience. We went on vacations together and he lived with my family before he left for Air Foce Basic training (about three months). So we already knew what we were walking into. Living with him feels no different than when we were younger and hanging out after school. It is easy and I loved that we waited until we were married in order to get the joy that comes with moving in together. 


    Post # 37
    1309 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I voted move in – get engaged – get married (flexible)

    But our timeline was

    2006 – start dating
    2007 – move in together
    2009 – got pregnant (on purpose), then engaged, had baby
    2012 – got married

    It worked for us. I could never imagine getting engaged to a person I hadn’t lived with before.

    Post # 38
    966 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    We got engaged, moved in, then got married. I wanted a committment before moving in with him, but didn’t need to wait until marriage.

    Post # 39
    2013 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    We’ve lived together for 4 years now, just got engaged in November. Moving in together when we did saved us so much money!

    Post # 40
    228 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    View original reply

    almost exactly like us;)

    was you baby in the wedding? Our son will be a little over a year and I want him at the wedding, just trying to figure out how that would work out

    Post # 41
    2452 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I am hoping for either Enagement -> Move In -> Marriage or Engagement -> Marriage -> Move In. Personally, I don’t think that moving in before engagement sets the relationship up in the way I would want it to be set up.

    Post # 42
    4953 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2018

    View original reply
    @MissMarple:  Agreed. 

    Realistically, we’ll probably move in together either right before we get married or immediately following. 

    Post # 43
    530 posts
    Busy bee

    View original reply
    @MissMarple:  Sure, of course.  Our issues weren’t necessarily related to small things like laundry and how clean the house was.  Rather, living together threw us together more often which meant I got to see a lot more of his personality, how he problem solved, etc.  I realized that he had some MAJOR insecurities that I had never noticed before.  For example, I was applying to schools at the same time as him.  I was applying to more “elite” schools than he was… Before I moved in, he seemed supportive, but afterwards he would let little snide comments slip all the time while I was working on apps. Small things like that which actually turned into bigger issues later on.

    Post # 44
    1443 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    First time around:  got engaged, married, then moved in.  Second time around:  got engaged, moved in, then married.  For myself, personally, I wanted the engagement before making the commitment of living together.  FTR, I’ve only lived with two men, my first husband and my now husband.

    Post # 45
    1475 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I am a big believer in living together before getting married. You find out so much about someone when you live with them!


    Out timeline was:

    2004 – started dating

    2008 – moved in together

    2012 – got engaged

    2013 – got married


    Post # 46
    953 posts
    Busy bee

    We moved in together at 7 months, got engaged at a year and half, and will be getting married after 3 years.

    The topic ‘In what order do you want the big things to happen in your life?’ is closed to new replies.

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