(Closed) In what order do you want the big things to happen in your life?

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Whick order do you prefer?

    Moving in, get engaged, get married. I would never have it any other way.

    Get engaged, get married, move in (on wedding day or after). I would never have it any other way.

    Get engaged, move in, get married. I would never have it any other way.

    Moving in, get engaged, get married. But I'm flexible.

    Get engaged, get married, move in (on wedding day or after). But I'm flexible.

    Get engaged, move in, get married. But I'm flexible.

    I don't care.

    I don't know.

    Other: share! :D

  • Post # 77
    Member
    6107 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2013

    graduate college, get engaged, move in, get married, buy house, have baby (maybe).

    So far, everything has gone as planned. We’re in the process of searching for a home with no plans for a baby yet.

    Post # 78
    Member
    576 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    For me it was Get Engaged -> Move in -> Get Married.

    I moving in with someone before you’re engaged might be setting yourself up for a long wait, or the possibility of the “mini-divorce” that takes place when you break up with a live-in partner. I never wanted to go through that!

    However, once you’re engaged, you’re really a team, and I think it makes sense to move in together and plan the wedding together, etc. 

    I’ve also waited to have sex until after we’ve discussed marriage as a serious option and I’ve been assured that he wants to marry me, even though we weren’t officially engaged until about 2-3 weeks later.

    I think moving in together after marriage also makes sense for people who are more traditional. However I think it can be a difficult and bumpy period!

    Post # 79
    Member
    9578 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2015

    View original reply
    @solidarity:  agree 100%

     

    were dating, getting engaged, symbolic redecorating, set a date, move in, get married. Then in a few years… sell apt buy house then babies. 

    Post # 80
    Member
    9578 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2015

    View original reply
    @PromiseRooster:  totally agree. I considered move in post wedding but I don’t want that initial adjustment period to be when we’re newlyweds. Get engaged, move in, adjust and plan the wedding, the time will fly by and you’ll still feel like it’s a fresh start post wedding. 

    Post # 81
    Member
    1427 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2010 - parent\'s backyard

    sex, moving in, engagement, marriage, in that order. 

    I would never marry somebody if I didn’t know what it was like to live with him and whether we were sexually compatible. both of those things are extremely important to me. 

    Post # 82
    Member
    4753 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    sex comes before living together, and living together comes before getting married. because when these things go wrong, the relationship it over (from experience).

    Post # 83
    Member
    2268 posts
    Buzzing bee

    View original reply
    @sugarpea:  “I could never get engaged without living with the person first so I said – move in, get engaged, get married (I wouldn’t do it any other way).

    +1.

    Post # 85
    Member
    2268 posts
    Buzzing bee

    @likewoah:  “I can’t wrap my head around people who get engaged without living together first. How do you know that you and your SO are actually compatible? Just take the rock and hope for the best?”

    View original reply
    @Polygon: “I feel the same way about people that purposefully have kids or buy a house together without getting married.  I can’t imagine being willing to become so entangled with someone that wasn’t willing to marry me.

    +1.

    SO and I moved in together after five months of dating (after a flatting situation gone wrong), have been together for three and a half years now and will hopefully be engaged late this year/early 2015.

    I like the way we’ve done things.

    ETA: This was supposed to go on the end of my last post but I got distracted and then I couldn’t edit it…

    Post # 86
    Member
    3400 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    Ideally I would have liked to date, get engaged, get married, have sex on the wedding night, then move in together. (for religious reasons)

    It ended up working out as dating, sex, move in together, engagement, marriage.

    So, I voted “other”

     

    Post # 87
    Member
    3823 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    we got engaged, got married, and then moved in together. it was perfect for us. i would like to add having kids after marriage to this too. we wouldn’t have it any other way. it’s something that was very important to us.

    Post # 88
    Member
    95 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: January 2014

    I voted no sex before marriage. Would’ve voted for “Get engaged, get married, move in (on wedding day or after). I would never have it any other way.” But since the no sex before marriage option was separate it sort of indicated sex before marriage would likely be happening in that situation. We’re engaged, getting married next week and we’re moving in together the night of the wedding (plus no sex before marriage). 🙂

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