(Closed) In what ways is an LDR better than a SDR?

posted 9 years ago in Long Distance Relationships
Post # 3
Member
229 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I think you learn to communicate in different ways when apart. You are forced to articulate your relationship wants, needs and grievances in a way that you can often get around when you see one another every day. We can talk through any problem when it arises and prevent many through developing. I think this has strengthened our foundation for the invetiable challenges of marriage.

Post # 4
Member
120 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

One plus I’ve seen is that we really know each other! There are none of the physical distractions that sometimes make us fall in love quickly based on how good we feel together. I feel with my FH I KNOW his hopes, dreams, fears. I honestly can’t think of a topic we haven’t discussed! He is my best friend and we are master communicators because at the end of the day all we really have is communication when were apart. 

Post # 5
Member
7779 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

You dont get sick of seeing each other all the time! lol.

Plus, an LDR makes the time you do get to spend together so special and amazing.

Post # 6
Member
97 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I have to agree with all the above comments ๐Ÿ™‚ I feel you get to really know each other better and how to communicate. When you are in a SDR it’s easier to just blow things off and cuddle on the couch than talk about what’s really on your mind.

Post # 7
Member
955 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Definitely agree with the communication comments. I feel that my Fiance and I have such a strong foundation for our relationship. We talk about everything and really value the time that we do get to spend together.

Also, finishing graduate school is very stressful so being in an LDR is helpful in that I don’t feel like I am neglecting my Fiance when I am very busy with school related work because we are not in the same state. It is a great break for me when I do get to see him so it is a nice balance.

Post # 8
Member
1813 posts
Buzzing bee

I agree with @futuredrbraun  …when I was in an LDR, I had great grades!  I knew my man was there for me, but I wasn’t tempted to hang w/ him all the time and neglect my studies…I also wasn’t dealing w/ single drama…I know it is still hard though for those still in LDR!

I was also not having PM sex, so I think it helped slow down the physical stuff some, too!

Post # 9
Member
542 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I can’t add much to what the other poster’s have already said.  We got to know each other through hours and hours of conversation.  Any topic was game since it meant we didn’t have to hang up the phone.  After living together for almost 10 months, I must say I miss those talks.  Somedays get so crazy busy that we don’t take the time to talk, when a year ago, we would have made that time because that is all we had.

Post # 10
Member
7975 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Yep, definitely the communication!

For us, another huge benefit was realizing that if we were going to get into a LDR, at 25 years old, it had to be for real. I’ve had a lot of really flaky relationships over the years and am pretty well done with that phase of my life, so to start out talking “can we get married some day?” from square one was awesome. It’s made our relationship so much more intentional!

Getting to travel internationally would probably be a benefit he would say ๐Ÿ™‚ ~heck, I took him to climb the great wall!

Post # 11
Member
3979 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

I totally agree that you come up with more effective ways to communicate with one another.

My Fiance, in past relationships, was very closed off & held onto to his feelings. Even when we first started dating he had trouble telling me how he really felt… it took a lot of work, but now he’s an open book.

We may be apart most of the year, but we know each other better than we ever could if we had the distractions of careers, groceries, tv, etc, etc. I think people assume that your LDR is all sunshine & roses when you get together because you’re on your “best behavior” or “honeymoon stage” but we are so far past that! We’re real & we know each other through and through! lol sometimes I wish we were still in our honeymoon mushy stage…

Post # 12
Member
73 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I completely agree that you get to know each other much better.  It’s because all we have is the phone so we have to actually talk if we want to have a relationship!

A few months ago, we played some board game that was modeled after the Newleywed game with one couple that has been married for a few months (and lived together before that) and another couple that had been living together for a while.  I thought we would never win since the other ones had much ‘closer’ relationships….but we ended up beating both of the couples.   Made me think we were doing something right :o)

Post # 13
Member
3979 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

@jbsgirl: That’s so cute!! Go team LDR!

Mr. Ring Bearer and I played that game before & we smoked the others… lol

Post # 14
Member
2408 posts
Buzzing bee

i concur with the communication! we’re forced to be honest about our needs, wants and expectations because we don’t get the option of hoping the other person will see that we’re in a bad mood and ask us what’s wrong. we have to be proactive and discuss things out before they get really bad.

also, we were able to get to really know each other without getting physical too soon and too fast. we were able to focus on each other clearly.

we also knew this was going to be something special if we were going to be involved in a long distance relationship. it wasn’t easy and we had our issues but we’ve managed to forge a much stronger level of respect for one another. i definitely wouldn’t have tried this if i didn’t think he was the one for me.

Post # 15
Member
3709 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I agree with all of the other comments. I think my Fiance and I have learned to read each other’s voices so much better. I can tell what kind of day he’s having and he can do the same for me just int he way he answers the phone when I call him or he calls me. We can finish each other’s sentences and sometimes we actually do it just to get on each other’s nerves….LOL

We had the opportunity to know each other’s spirits in a way that we wouldn’t have had we been closer together and able to indulge in the physical side more.

Post # 16
Member
72 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

Defining the relationship is easier and quicker – you have to be on the same page or end it.

And we definitely treasure every moment – even when watching each other disappear through the airport security checkpoint and holding back tears.

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