Post # 1
I know my ex cannot, by any means, define involvement in a pregnancy (all he has done is go to two appointments, no registry, no shopping, no hustling for free baby stuff). His claim is “How can I bond with a baby that isnt born yet?”
While you and I and the rest of the sane world know that bonding begins in the womb, I am curious as to how other DHs, FIs, and significant others are involving themselves in your pregnancy.
Post # 3
It is hard for Darling Husband. Since the baby is in my belly, he’s struggling with not having that attachment, control and knowing how I’m feeling and what’s going on with me, as well as the attention I get for being the mom-to-be. However we spend time talking about the baby, coming up with names, nursery plans, pregnancy and childbirth plans, traveling plans, etc… I also refused to let anyone touch my belly until he felt the first few kicks. When he can’t make it to an appointment, he’s the very first phone call and I don’t call anyone else until we speak. He goes with me to the bigger appointments and we come up with questions for the next appointment together. I’m doing what I can to make his role as the dad the most important, which it is to me.
Post # 4
My hubby is surprisingly involved. He knows more than I do about pregnancy, and researches constantly. He helps make sure I’m taking care of myself and eating the right foods. He comes to the major apts with me. We aren’t to the point of registering yet, but if it’s like the wedding he’ll help with that too.
I recently miscarried so he’s especially careful about having me not carry anything heavy or doing anything that could possibly harm the baby. He even yelled at me for standing on a chair the other day (although I didn’t listen). I’ve been really tired all the time so he’s doing a lot more around the house to help me out. I think it’s easier for him to take care of me, which in turn takes care of the baby.
Post # 5
I’ve heard a lot that women become a mom when they get their first positive HPT and a man becomes a dad once the baby is born. I would imagine that no matter how much I tell and talk to Darling Husband about our baby, the emotional connection is harder for him to make until he sees our little boy in person.
My Darling Husband goes to the major appointments and reads the What to Expect book occaisionally but for the most part his involvement is focused on getting the house ready for baby: remodeling the guest bath, prepping the nursery, etc. For him, those are tangible things he can connect with that he knows are important to me to have done. He also takes care of feeding me, making sure I’m comfortable, and the like.
Post # 6
@MrsH1010: DF actually felt a bond to the baby very quickly. I really didn’t feel a connection until we found out the sex and we named her at around 19 weeks. He always talks to my belly. He set up the nursery and organised the layout of the room. He comes to every appointment and prenatal class. I find it better if he goes to the classes/appointments with me because he listens and remembers the info, wheras he hates reading pg books like what to expect when you’re expecting.