- 6 years ago
- Wedding: October 2008
Oh, bees. I just have to vent yet another reason why my Future Mother-In-Law stresses me the f*ck out. Please let me know if I’m being unreasonable, but I just feel like she’s kind of ridiculous. I know how small this seems, but like I said, I just want to vent it.
My dad’s sisters are kindly throwing us a couples shower at the end of this month. They had hoped to throw us an engagement party in the fall, but it was unable to work out. Since we’re close to the wedding, they’ve deemed this a “couples shower”, but really it’s going to be a causal cookout with all our friends and families.
Now, my aunt is hosting it and she lives in a suburb about 15-20 minutes away from where Fiance and I live. My parents and FIs parents also live in the the suburb Fiance and I live in. So, we’re all anywhere from 15-20 minutes away from where this party will be held.
Fiance talked to his mom last night and basically had to harass her into checking her email–she refuses to “do” email, but things like evites for this party are being sent to her. So, while they are on the phone she begrudgingly checks the invitation and reads through it. She asks: “where is this?” and Fiance tells her it’s in Holly Springs, right down the road, just 20 minutes away. She says: “well, how am I supposed to get there? Am I riding with you?”
Okay. First of all, the woman has a husband she can ride with. Second of all, they live in this area and they both have working vehicles. There’s no reason they can’t Google directions and drive themselves, just like everyone else. Fiance tells hers “we’re not talkinga bout that right now” and she says “well, okay but I think I should ride with you”. Not in a way that was like “well, it would be so nice if we could ride together since we don’t know where it is”. but in a way that was more haughty and “Well, I’m OBVIOUSLY invited and should be picked up and taken there with you”. Like that was her entitlement.
He hung up and I was like um no, she’s not riding with us. This is a party thrown in our honor, the only event for our pre-wedding festivies that includes both of us (he obvs. wont’ be at bridal showers), and I want us to go together, arrive together hand-in-hand, alone etc. Not with your mother. Not with both of your parents, etc. Not in a caravan with your parents, just us. He was like “yeah, she’s definitely not riding with us”. I don’t know why, but that moment is important to me, the first thing that’s being throwing in our honor and I think it’s fine that we both want to just go alone and arrive as the “couple of the hour” (not my words).
I just have to vent this because she is so freaking difficult. Everything with her is a struggle. For the rehearsal dinner Fiance and I have planned everything and the venue sent a SIMPLE, ONE PAGE contract that outlines what we want and requires a signature and a credit card number to hold our dates. Very simple. Well, Future Mother-In-Law wont’ just open the PDF file from her email and read it, nor will she just simply give Fiance a credit card number over the phone. Oh no, we have to go back and forth because she doesn’t want Fiance to fill out the ppwk until she can see it. In person. Which means we have to dedicate an evening for her to come over (which is also was her discretion because when we say “okay come over at 6”, she says “oh, no, well 6 doesnt really work. how about 6:30”. It’s so freaking irritating.
She’s just really….stressful. I had an honest conversation with Fiance about how, after this past weekend of “no wedding talk, low stress” which was AWESOME, I immediately felt REALLY stressed out and anxious after he talked to her. He was in complete agreement with me and said “I’ll take care of dealing with her, just tell me what you want”. He’s really a much calmer person and knows that she’s super difficult but doesn’t mediate or deal with things until it’s necessary. Meaning he left the “I’m riding with you” comment because it didn’t matter yet. The party is still 3 weeks away.
But god, she irritates me. She stresses me out. I don’t enjoy interacting with her. Am I too much? Or is she? Really trying the whole “get some perspective” thing before I lose all patience with her and start wanting absolutely nothing to do with her.