Post # 1
Member
6830 posts
Busy Beekeeper
Sigh I am sorry if this comes off wrong here, I really don’t mean it to. I have seen a couple of threads lately that bees are thinking anything over age of 29 is too darn old for having a child!
This really rubs me the wrong way. I am here to say I was 37 when I gave birth to my first child and YES we plan on having one more child. Yes there can be complications after age of 35 but you know what any pregnancy can have complications.
I delivered a healthy little boy almost a year ago (yes he was 7 weeks early and had to stay in the NICU for 4 weeks, but you know what I was a month early and my mother had me at ripe ole age of 22) and I love him so much. Many of my high school classmates who are the same age are having their first child.
So please do not say in your 30’s is to old to have kids!
Post # 3
Member
11390 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
I don’t think people are saying its to old more as they are worried their clock is ticking.
Post # 4
Member
2831 posts
Sugar bee
@Sweet.Sugar.Rose: That is exactly what my post was trying to convey. Maybe the word old is being used too loosely.
And I think it is a valid concern for those of us who have not TTC yet and are creeping on the number 30.
Post # 5
Member
5670 posts
Bee Keeper
I hear you. Darling Husband is only 28 and I constantly hear how old he is having his first baby! Really?! When did he want to have kids before we got jobs and bought a house? I think people used to have kids younger because life was different but now there is college and careers and people are trying to get setlled because everything is so much more expensive.
Post # 6
Member
6741 posts
Bee Keeper
Hrm, I haven’t actually seen anyone flat out say that 30s is too old to have kids. However, I have heard some bees voice concerns over the fact that the risk for complications increases at the age of 30 and 35 and I think that the ability to get pregnant decreases, as well.
I’m sure that any pregnancy can have complications. I’m sure that the age of 30 and 35 is not set in stone. I’m sure the risk increases with age depending on the person themselves. I’m sure there are older moms who are in better health/shape than younger ones who have less complications, regardless of age.
But, I am 28, so coming from someone who thinks that way (the way that upsets you, sorry!) I also know that I want to have a child sooner rather than later (while still waiting that is until we are both ready for that) because I wouldn’t want there to be a complication that could have been avoided had I had the child just a few years earlier.
I’m very happy to hear though that you were 37 when you had your first child! It really gives me hope that I can still wait to get my own life together before bringing another one into this world.
Post # 7
Member
6830 posts
Busy Beekeeper
See here is the thing, I had a very very good chance of not having children. Yet no I do have one..
I totally get the concern of clock is ticking, been there! However there are options out there if you can’t have children.
Mostly I just would like people to remember that we 30 somethings have feelings to and to say we are to old to have children really bothers me….
Post # 8
Member
11390 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
@Sassygrn: Woah! Who said you was to old? 🙁 That is not right & is against weddingbee rules! Can you point out the post to be flagged?
Post # 9
Member
2831 posts
Sugar bee
@Sassygrn: I don’t think 30 is old to have kids. People should be able to have young kids at whatever age! It’s not the age gap that concerns me. It’s the ability to have a healthy pregnancy. No offence to anyone in their 30’s or older.
Post # 10
Member
2863 posts
Sugar bee
I think perhaps you are being sensitive. Fertility does decline before you even hit 30, it would be foolish for a woman who wants children to not be aware of this. Stats are what they are for a reason- a 20 year old has a better chance of getting pregnant than a 30 year old. Totally sucks, but it is what it is. Nothing wrong with having totally rational fears over fertility.
Post # 11
Member
6830 posts
Busy Beekeeper
@Sweet.Sugar.Rose: No actually said I was to old, it was more assumed that anyone over the age of 29 in the last few weeks here or so are to old to have children.
I guess I look at this way my own grandmother who was born in 1901! She has passed away almost 20 some years now had my dad at age of 47! And in that day it was unheard of to have a baby that in life.
Post # 12
Member
11390 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
@Sassygrn: Okay, that is good.
And that is great! I don’t think people are actually sayings its to old, but like I said just worried. Its normal to worry but does not mean its impossible! You & many, MANY other ladies are living proof! 🙂
Post # 13
Member
5496 posts
Bee Keeper
There is not one particular age that is too old. Many women at 41 have babies, and some women at 28 can’t have them. But overall, it is much easier before your mid to late 30’s. I know, because I went through it. I’m only pregnant now (34 yrs old) because of IVF and have a very low AMH (early decline with quantity of eggs) and would have most likely been pregnant without IVF in my 20’s. So for me my clock was practically beyond ticking by the time my husband and I got married (when I was 32) and we ttc. After 35, the odds of getting pregnant and not having complications start to drastically decrease. It’s just biology.
Post # 14
Member
6830 posts
Busy Beekeeper
@mixtapehearts: Maybe I am being over sensitive however people should talk to their doctors if they are thinking of TCC. I read all the books under the sun since I was over the age of 35 when was pregnant. I asked a lot of questions and was very concerned about my pregnancy. I did everything right but yet still went early. Again my own mother went early with at age of 22 with me… so it can happen at any age.
Post # 15
Member
42 posts
Newbee
My mom had me (her first) at 31 (pregnant after 3-ish months of trying), and had my youngest brother at 44! (And he’s perfectly healthy!) Anything is possible. Don’t let the haters get you down!
Post # 16
Member
6830 posts
Busy Beekeeper
@Jenn23: I had less than 40% chance of having a child.. and look at me now. My little boy will be 1 in 6 weeks!
