(Closed) In your 30's is not to old!!

posted 8 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 47
Member
2015 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Whilst i appreciate the risks increase as a woman ages, i too believe that 30 is by no means too old to have a child. My mother was 32 wen she had my brother and because he developed brain damage shortly after birth (hospitals fault-there was a court case and everything) she waited a further 5 years to have me, meaning she was 37.

I know my mum does wish she had children earlier the health aspects did not worr her, it was more of a case of she felt like an old mum compared to other children i went to school with. 

There are risks with all pregnancies but i dont feel a woman should feel pressured into having children at a younger age jut because there may be a risk if she waits.

Post # 48
Member
886 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I’m in my early 30’s. Just got married last year. I’m on the fence about kids. If we’re going to go through with it, it’ll be in the next couple years since my mom went into early menopause. I pursued a graduate education and post-grad training up until just last year. So that was my priority. I wouldn’t have wanted to bring a life into this world who would’ve been second to my career needs. But now, I’m gradually becoming open to the idea of being a parent. My husband, however, is younger. So I’m waiting til (or if!) he’s ready. I personally feel if it’ll happen it’ll happen. I’ll be happy either way. My gyn is great. She didn’t start having children until she was 36, and she had three of them. I also have friends whose mothers didn’t have them until their 40s. So anything is possible! Don’t let numbers alone scare you. There’s also growing evidence that older mothers, once they get past any possible health/infertility issues, produce smarter kids:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2147848/Children-mothers-40-healthier-intelligent.html

Post # 49
Member
1652 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Great post! I’m 30 and pregnant with my first. I find it weird that people think late 20s is likely to be too old.

Post # 50
Member
8035 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@Sassygrn:  People have kids at different ages for different reasons.

For medical reasons, my mom was 36 when she had me. She was a whopping 40 when she had my sister. Both of us are perfectly healthy, and she had no complications and no difficulty conceiving either of us (although she had a miscarriage between me and my sister).

My boyfriend is 41 and desperate to have a child. I’m 27. Right now I am not feeling the clock ticking (on my part anyway). We want to be married first etc. He couldn’t conceive w. his first wife. I’m thinking 30-31 TTC. I think people are having kids later and later these days and it’s socially acceptable. If you think about it, it seems like everyone is going to university, and then can’t find a job (my sister for example), living at home til God knows when… so starting to feel like an adult around age 30 is not surprising.

I’ve been in a good job for four years now (after graduating university) and I still don’t feel ready to have kids. If I got pregnant now then we’d keep it, but I wouldn’t be happy about it. Out of my main group of friends in high school, one JUST had a baby. Most of us went to university. Only a couple of us are married. It just seems like becoming a parent at a later age is getting way more common these days. Yeah I guess age 37-40 is definitely the upper limit, but I see nothing wrong with it. Of course I do worry something will happen to my mom (she’s 65 now I think!) and I’m only 27.. my sister is only 23… but shit happens to people w. young parents as well.

Anyway, sorry for the long post. I guess I am trying to reassure you that you’re not doing anything wrong or anything like that! Having young parents and having older parents has its pros and cons.. as long as the child is wanted and looked after then it’s all good.

Post # 51
Member
1030 posts
Bumble bee

I don’t think 30 is too old to have a child, but it is something I am concerned about.

I’ve had a lot of health issues and for me, any chance of not getting pregnant is my biggest fear. I’m only 26 now, but I’m not yet married and I know I’ll be 28 by the time I start trying.

Hopefully I will conceive pretty quickly, but I feel that by trying at 28, even if it takes us a long time to get pregnant, we’ll have a good head start.

As for being ‘too old’ to be a parent? My parents are in their mid fifties with a teenage daughter and they’re doing pretty damn well. In fact, I think my sister has kept them feeling younger.

That said, my dad’s cousin had their son when she was in her early 30s and she was old and frumpy for her years!

It all depends on the person – but I personally would rather conceive naturally than have the fear and worry that goes into preserving eggs/fertility treatments and being told I have a 40% chance. It would just be too much for me.

 

ETA: if anyone can find a TV show from BBC3 called ‘Cherry Has a Baby’ – I really recommend watching it. It shows girls in their teens, 20s, 30s and 40s who are pregnant and goes through their stories and how age plays a factor. Really good!

Post # 52
Member
2810 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

30 is too old for my DH and I to be still having kids. I don’t care what other people do. I want to be done having babies (god willing) before I’m 30.

Post # 53
Member
3586 posts
Sugar bee

View original reply
@morkiemama:  Agree. A lot people I know who HAD problems getting and staying pregnant were in their 20s. Just because you’re in the “safe age range” doesn’t mean you can get pregnant and everything go perfect.

Post # 54
Member
1812 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

Hi!  I’m a decrepid old 31 – going on (shock – horror!!) 32 in a few months.  I’m also pregnant with our first baby….

Honestly?  I’m still getting used to being in my 20s – and I finished them a couple of years ago, so I can’t really see how 30+ is too old to have kids.  If your body can take it, and you feel you are able to raise a child then why not?

Post # 55
Member
1667 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I am not going to be able to TTC until I am late 34/35. I get a lot of flack from people back home about it (except my mother, who didn’t start having kids till 33) – but here in NYC, that’s about when everyone else tries so it doesn’t seem so awful.

Sometimes I get scared and wish I could start right now (I’m 32) but I am trying to breathe and stick with the plan. We have a plan for a reason.

Post # 56
Member
1675 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I haven’t read through all the responses so I’m not sure if this has already been mentioned, but I did want to say that for those concerned about fertility over the age of 30, you should check out The Impatient Woman’s Guide to Getting Pregnant. The author takes a very evidence-based approach and, using scholarly articles, busts a lot of myths about the decline in fertility that allegedly occurs once a woman enters her 30s. It’s also just generally a great read for anyone who’s Type A and TTC 🙂

Post # 57
Member
1351 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

It’s an individual decision. So, 30-40-50 may not be too old for you, but it may be too old for someone else. So, i don’t think it’s something to take personal ya know? For me and my husband, 30 is too old for a variety of reasons. First, I want our parents to enjoy grandkids for as long as posible since they did have kids in their mid-thirties. If we wait another 10yrs, our parents will be in their 70s, and let’s get real- who knows if they’ll be around or not (and my dad is a retired physician in optimal health!) Second, I want to make sure we have as much energy as possible. Not saying 30somethings have no energy, but I can admit I don’t have as much energy now as I did 10yrs ago- and i currently run half marathons, practice hot yoga, and am in great shape. I still can’t bounce back from injuries like I could a couple of years ao, or do some of the things I used to do. So, no, I don’t want to wait another 10yrs. We plan to start at 26 1/2 and call it a day. And for the record, plenty of people say anyone under 30 isn’t mature enough for kids. Um okay. Whatevs. Do what makes you happy =)

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