(Closed) In your opinion, what is and is not okay to ask about someone's ring?

posted 6 years ago in Rings
  • poll: Would you always consider it rude if someone asked about your stone?
    Absolutely. My jewelry is nobody's business, and people should limit any comments to "It's lovely!" : (31 votes)
    5 %
    It depends on who's asking. A family member or close friend can ask, but not a stranger. : (113 votes)
    20 %
    It depends on the jewelry. Feel free to question earrings, but keep your nose off my e-ring. : (25 votes)
    4 %
    It depends on the wording. "Beautiful! What kind of stone is it?" is fine. "Is it real?" is not. : (137 votes)
    24 %
    It depends on what exactly is being asked about. (size, type of stone, where he bought it, price...) : (131 votes)
    23 %
    It depends on the tone of voice. : (81 votes)
    14 %
    I wouldn't ever be bothered. I'm pretty much an open book. : (24 votes)
    4 %
    Rude? I'm thrilled for an excuse to talk about my rock! Ask about my sparkly and I'll yammer on. : (27 votes)
    5 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    3402 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    I wouldn’t care if I was asked about my e-ring, as in size, shape, cut, color, anything. I wouldn’t care if they asked what kind of stone it is (it’s moissanite). I would, however, care if they asked “is it real” because that’s just a rude way of saying that whatever isn’t diamond is fake.

    Also depends on who, to some degree. If a family member were to ask me about my ring, really thing, it’s okay. My family is my blood. I’m an open book to them. Mostly the same goes for good friends.

    Post # 4
    Member
    169 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    i had someone ask how much it cost which i think is pretty rude. I dont mind people asking whatss metal it is or what size stone it is etc but i dont think people need to know how much engagement rings cost.

    Post # 5
    Member
    3964 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2018

    I don’t think I’d be ok with someone asking the price. That’s rude.

    Post # 6
    Member
    587 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    I voted that I’m not bothered and mostly I’m not. A male friend asked recently how much it cost to get a sense of what’s expected in our social circle and I was happy to tell him. I asked him to keep it to himself but that’s understood because money is private. Otherwise, I’ve told people the carat weight if they’ve asked. Few people really do ask though. At first I felt put off but after a while, I felt the need to get over myself. If I’m going to walk around w something so sparkley, how can I expect no one to ask things!

    Post # 7
    Member
    581 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2012

    Price and size.  Why do they need to know?  I feel like in most cases they are asking from a judgemental place.

    Post # 8
    Member
    3174 posts
    Sugar bee

    Asking is it real and saying that it’s cute

    Post # 9
    Member
    4109 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: December 2011

    I voted it depends on who’s asking. It would be rude for a stranger to ask if it’s fake or how much it costs imo. If it were my best friend, that’s a different story.

    Post # 10
    Member
    4355 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    Unless it’s a close friend (and even then.. I’m not sure) cost is definitely out of the question. To be honest, Fiance has never even told either of our parents the relative cost. I think he’s actually scared of what they might think of him spending so much which I think is nuts. First it’s none of their business, second we own a home, our cars and never have had money problems so what we do with out money is our own business.

    Other then that, I’m game for any question I can think of.

    Post # 11
    Member
    569 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    No-one has ever asked if my stone is real (it is).

    No-one except my insurance company has ever asked how much it cost.

    Post # 12
    Member
    8042 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2013

    @Kitquist:  I tread very carefully when it comes to asking about someone’s ring in real life (I admit I have been rude online and am not proud of that). First I start off with a compliment. If it’s a different stone than diamond I might ask what kind of stone. I’d never ask ‘is that real?’ or anything like that.

    My coworker spent months picking out a ring for herself (engagement) and would send me links of what she was looking at. When she finally got the ring I definitely asked more questions about it than I would someone I knew less well. I did ask her what the carat size was, but I prefaced it with ‘wow, it looks huge… if you don’t mind me asking, what carat size is it?’. She didn’t mind at all.

    To me it’s all about the wording and tone of voice. I don’t think that asking questions per se is rude. I am considering getting a yellow diamond for my ring but I have to admit that the idea of people constantly asking what it is, asking if it’s a yellow sapphire etc. might put me off. I don’t know. I just feel like you shouldn’t have to explain your jewelery… but I know people do ask. It’s just such a big decision since it’s something you’ll likely wear forever. Since I’ve come to Weddingbee I have been made much more aware of what is and isn’t ok when it comes to ring talk.

    Edit: I agree cost is off-limits unless you’re really sure that you know what you’re doing/know the person well or that they won’t be offended.

    Post # 13
    Member
    3375 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    Price is the only taboo to me. If someone asks nicely about what size my ring is, I’ll tell them. If they ask because they’re catty, I won’t say!

    Post # 14
    Hostess
    16215 posts
    Honey Beekeeper

    I’ve never really had anyone ask me anything about my ring, at least not about things like cost or carat. They asked where we got it and what kind of metal it is and stuff like that.

    Post # 15
    Member
    4952 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    I think it’s incredibly rude to ask anyone how much anything costs (unless you are close in that way).

    Post # 16
    Member
    4194 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

    I think cost is no one’s business, unless they’re looking to purchase jewelry themselves, and are trying to gauge what they could get for their budget. Asking where the ring was purchased is acceptable, “is it real” is not.

    The topic ‘In your opinion, what is and is not okay to ask about someone's ring?’ is closed to new replies.

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